Each week we will post a Monday Morning Motivator - a message that is sure to inspire you to do your Personal Best today and every day!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Dream Job
Reading Little League (thanks to our former player and great friend, Tom Fratto) has hired Scott Farris and me to conduct Skills Clinics for 7 and 8 year-old players on Wednesday and Thursday evenings for seven weeks this spring.
After a session on a chilly evening in which the 8 year-olds were not particularly “into” the practice, Dan Robinson, another one of our former players (whom I also consider a wonderful, thoughtful friend) was helping us at the practice, as he coaches a team on which he son plays. He could see how this session was a challenge and, later that evening, he sent me a much needed email in which he stated that “I know working with 8 year-olds isn’t your dream job . . .” He was referencing that at my age, experience level, coaching career, etc., he recognizes that working with young kids on a cold night may not be what I really want to do! Yet Dan went on to say how much he (and players and parents of Reading LL) appreciate what Scott and I do for them. It was thoughtful, heartfelt, timely, and very much appreciated by me.
I was about to respond with a comment about how, yes, this was definitely not my “dream job” but t I stopped. Instead, I wrote about how I had a Dream Job for 35 years (coaching Reading HS Baseball) and that led to building so many relationships with players that continue today. And because of that Dream Job, my former players (like Tom and Dan) choose to keep me involved in baseball in Reading and to give me the opportunity to work with them again and also with their children! Sort of Dream Job, 2nd Generation!
So, I guess my point, in addition to expressing gratitude to Dan and Tom, is to say that maybe we don’t have the Dream Job or the Dream Home or the Dream Vacation or the Dream Life. But what we have is pretty darn good and we (I know I do) must appreciate it, be thankful for it, and sometimes just make the best of it. And if you really want the “Dream”, don’t look for it in the job, the home, the vacation – look toward the people with whom you have built relationships. They will stick with you, love you and show you that, with their support, The Dream is already there!
Reading Little League (thanks to our former player and great friend, Tom Fratto) has hired Scott Farris and me to conduct Skills Clinics for 7 and 8 year-old players on Wednesday and Thursday evenings for seven weeks this spring.
After a session on a chilly evening in which the 8 year-olds were not particularly “into” the practice, Dan Robinson, another one of our former players (whom I also consider a wonderful, thoughtful friend) was helping us at the practice, as he coaches a team on which he son plays. He could see how this session was a challenge and, later that evening, he sent me a much needed email in which he stated that “I know working with 8 year-olds isn’t your dream job . . .” He was referencing that at my age, experience level, coaching career, etc., he recognizes that working with young kids on a cold night may not be what I really want to do! Yet Dan went on to say how much he (and players and parents of Reading LL) appreciate what Scott and I do for them. It was thoughtful, heartfelt, timely, and very much appreciated by me.
I was about to respond with a comment about how, yes, this was definitely not my “dream job” but t I stopped. Instead, I wrote about how I had a Dream Job for 35 years (coaching Reading HS Baseball) and that led to building so many relationships with players that continue today. And because of that Dream Job, my former players (like Tom and Dan) choose to keep me involved in baseball in Reading and to give me the opportunity to work with them again and also with their children! Sort of Dream Job, 2nd Generation!
So, I guess my point, in addition to expressing gratitude to Dan and Tom, is to say that maybe we don’t have the Dream Job or the Dream Home or the Dream Vacation or the Dream Life. But what we have is pretty darn good and we (I know I do) must appreciate it, be thankful for it, and sometimes just make the best of it. And if you really want the “Dream”, don’t look for it in the job, the home, the vacation – look toward the people with whom you have built relationships. They will stick with you, love you and show you that, with their support, The Dream is already there!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Confidence
I am always amazed when a professional baseball player goes hitless for a bunch of at bats, an NBA player misses 4 shots in a row, or a PGA golfer misses a couple of short putts and the announcer says, “he has lost his confidence now.”
Wow, is confidence really that fleeting and fragile for these elite athletes who are in the best in the world at their profession? I hope not. Yet I recognize that confidence can be difficult to attain and maintain for all of us. And we all know that the most successful people in athletics, business, finance, and relationships are all very confident. They believe in themselves and they trust their abilities. So here is a mini-lesson on Confidence that we teach in our Personal Best classes.
Four Keys to Unstoppable Confidence
I am always amazed when a professional baseball player goes hitless for a bunch of at bats, an NBA player misses 4 shots in a row, or a PGA golfer misses a couple of short putts and the announcer says, “he has lost his confidence now.”
Wow, is confidence really that fleeting and fragile for these elite athletes who are in the best in the world at their profession? I hope not. Yet I recognize that confidence can be difficult to attain and maintain for all of us. And we all know that the most successful people in athletics, business, finance, and relationships are all very confident. They believe in themselves and they trust their abilities. So here is a mini-lesson on Confidence that we teach in our Personal Best classes.
Four Keys to Unstoppable Confidence
- How you Carry Yourself
- What you Say to Yourself
- How you See Yourself
- How you Act
- Carry yourself with BIG body language – head up, shoulders back, sternum out. When we walk and move with big body language, we will feel more confident and others will perceive us as confident.
- What we repeatedly say to ourselves we ultimately believe and become. So our Self-Talk must be positive and powerful: “I feel great today”, “I make clear, effective presentations”, “I overcome any obstacle in my path today”.
- When we see ourselves as strong, smart, or athletic, we are more likely to act that way which will cause us to continue to see ourselves that way …. and so on. So we develop a very positive cycle. Visualization is also important. See yourself making the putt, hitting the 3-pointer, closing the deal, making the powerful presentation – all with confidence and all exactly the way you want it to occur.
- We say Act the Way You Want to Feel. We use a quote that says, “Being really good at acting confident is being confident. If you want to feel happy, act happy. If you want to feel energetic, act energetic. And if you want to feel confident, act confident. Also use your ABC’s: Always Behave Confidently.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best – Catch Them Doing Something Right
This week Personal Best (Scott Farris and I) had the privilege of doing Mental Toughness Training with Belmont HS Varsity Baseball. We had given them the 2+ hour classroom presentation previously, so now we were working with them at their practice, on the field, to show them how to implement what they had learned.
Belmont has a good team and some talented players. One player is highly touted, will be a Division I player next year and is being scouted by MLB teams. The team was doing drills and players were taking their turns doing reps at their defensive position. When it was time for this talented kid to take his spot at shortstop, he literally sprinted from the dugout area to his position.
Later in the practice, I talked to him privately and said, “If I was a MLB scout, you would have gained favor with me for something you did today. It had nothing to do with your pitching, hitting, or fielding. It was that you sprinted onto the field.” The player smiled broadly and said that he appreciated that I had noticed.
So, I just “caught him doing something right” and took the time to tell him. And guess what – because of that positive recognition from an adult, he is going to repeat that action again and again (and maybe his teammates will, too!).
So often we teachers, coaches, parents, mentors find fault in what our student-players-kids do and, rightfully, point that out to them. After all, that is our job! Yet, we probably don’t often enough point out when they “do something right”. I don’t necessarily mean when they get an A on a test, hit a homerun, or finish first in a dance competition. Certainly, we praise kids for that. But how about when our kids take out the trash without being asked, hold open a door for an elderly person, or give their best effort in a game despite not playing well? Those are the “catch them doing something right” moments which we need to address.
When coaching at Reading HS, we coaches often handed out the “Green Shirt Player of the Day”. This was an actual green jersey with Reading Baseball screened on it. Well, this shirt did not go to the pitcher who threw a shutout or the player who got three hits. Who did get to where the shirt? The player who, in the cafeteria, left his friends and sat with some special needs kids at lunch; or the player who treated our 8-year old batboy with special attention and kindness. Believe me, those guys wore the green shirt with pride! And, as you may imagine, they repeated such behaviors and teammates strove to do the same.
So Catch Them Doing Something Right – it’s a Win-Win !!!
This week Personal Best (Scott Farris and I) had the privilege of doing Mental Toughness Training with Belmont HS Varsity Baseball. We had given them the 2+ hour classroom presentation previously, so now we were working with them at their practice, on the field, to show them how to implement what they had learned.
Belmont has a good team and some talented players. One player is highly touted, will be a Division I player next year and is being scouted by MLB teams. The team was doing drills and players were taking their turns doing reps at their defensive position. When it was time for this talented kid to take his spot at shortstop, he literally sprinted from the dugout area to his position.
Later in the practice, I talked to him privately and said, “If I was a MLB scout, you would have gained favor with me for something you did today. It had nothing to do with your pitching, hitting, or fielding. It was that you sprinted onto the field.” The player smiled broadly and said that he appreciated that I had noticed.
So, I just “caught him doing something right” and took the time to tell him. And guess what – because of that positive recognition from an adult, he is going to repeat that action again and again (and maybe his teammates will, too!).
So often we teachers, coaches, parents, mentors find fault in what our student-players-kids do and, rightfully, point that out to them. After all, that is our job! Yet, we probably don’t often enough point out when they “do something right”. I don’t necessarily mean when they get an A on a test, hit a homerun, or finish first in a dance competition. Certainly, we praise kids for that. But how about when our kids take out the trash without being asked, hold open a door for an elderly person, or give their best effort in a game despite not playing well? Those are the “catch them doing something right” moments which we need to address.
When coaching at Reading HS, we coaches often handed out the “Green Shirt Player of the Day”. This was an actual green jersey with Reading Baseball screened on it. Well, this shirt did not go to the pitcher who threw a shutout or the player who got three hits. Who did get to where the shirt? The player who, in the cafeteria, left his friends and sat with some special needs kids at lunch; or the player who treated our 8-year old batboy with special attention and kindness. Believe me, those guys wore the green shirt with pride! And, as you may imagine, they repeated such behaviors and teammates strove to do the same.
So Catch Them Doing Something Right – it’s a Win-Win !!!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- SSLANT
When I was Math Department Head at Reading High School, one of my responsibilities was interviewing candidates for math teacher openings. I really enjoyed that and recommended for hire some great people, for sure! Yet, not all candidates presented what I was looking for.
For example, one time a man came in who had excellent credentials in terms of where he went to school, how well he did in school, his success in his current profession (he was in business/industry, but looking to leave that and become a teacher), and his personal recommendations. Yet, he entered and gave a less-than-enthusiastic handshake and when he sat across from me for the interview, he slumped back in his chair, stuck his legs out in front of him, and crossed his arms. Rather than make a first impression of enthusiasm and positivity, his body language conveyed an attitude of indifference and entitlement. Well, I lost interest in this gentleman rather quickly.
On the other hand, I remember a similarly-qualified candidate who came in, gave a firm handshake with good eye contact, sat down with great posture, smiled, listened intensely, and presented herself in a positive and respectful manner. I knew pretty quickly that this was someone I wanted to put in front of our students every day. Not surprisingly, she turned out to be a fabulous teacher.
Whereas Candidate #1 presented himself rather poorly, Candidate #2 utilized what I call SSLANT:
Sit up straight, Smile, Listen, Ask questions, Nod your head, Track their eyes.
I tell this story to my students and tell them to use SSLANT whenever they want to make a good impression. And when do we want to make a good impression – job interview, first day of class, meeting a classmate for the first time . . . all the time!
I think we adult know this, but maybe this is a good time to teach/remind our kids that SSLANT and a firm handshake will open doors wherever they go
When I was Math Department Head at Reading High School, one of my responsibilities was interviewing candidates for math teacher openings. I really enjoyed that and recommended for hire some great people, for sure! Yet, not all candidates presented what I was looking for.
For example, one time a man came in who had excellent credentials in terms of where he went to school, how well he did in school, his success in his current profession (he was in business/industry, but looking to leave that and become a teacher), and his personal recommendations. Yet, he entered and gave a less-than-enthusiastic handshake and when he sat across from me for the interview, he slumped back in his chair, stuck his legs out in front of him, and crossed his arms. Rather than make a first impression of enthusiasm and positivity, his body language conveyed an attitude of indifference and entitlement. Well, I lost interest in this gentleman rather quickly.
On the other hand, I remember a similarly-qualified candidate who came in, gave a firm handshake with good eye contact, sat down with great posture, smiled, listened intensely, and presented herself in a positive and respectful manner. I knew pretty quickly that this was someone I wanted to put in front of our students every day. Not surprisingly, she turned out to be a fabulous teacher.
Whereas Candidate #1 presented himself rather poorly, Candidate #2 utilized what I call SSLANT:
Sit up straight, Smile, Listen, Ask questions, Nod your head, Track their eyes.
I tell this story to my students and tell them to use SSLANT whenever they want to make a good impression. And when do we want to make a good impression – job interview, first day of class, meeting a classmate for the first time . . . all the time!
I think we adult know this, but maybe this is a good time to teach/remind our kids that SSLANT and a firm handshake will open doors wherever they go
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Tom Darrin
This is a bit longer, but I guarantee worth reading! Many of you know Tom Darrin from Reading High School. He was a Hall of Fame wrestling coach, as well as freshman football coach, and Social Studies Department Head there. Upon retiring from RMHS, he embarked on a career at Windham HS in NH. This was not only a brand new school, but a new school district. So every student was new and there was no wrestling team. Enter Coach Darrin. Tom grew his team from all freshmen and sophomores (they built the school one or two grades at a time) into a 2-time state champion! Personal Best was privileged to work with Tom's program and he recently sent this email to Scott Farris and me.
"My wrestlers just won a very hard fought state championship. It is in large part due to you and your training. When the tournament was on the line my wrestlers were mentally tough. We were down by 14.5 points going into the last round of the tournament. Everything seemed to be in our opponent's favor. " "My speech to the kids was straight from Personal Best training. I told my kids how well they had already performed that day and that what we could do now was just go out and wrestle our best. Success = Preparation and Effort. I told them they had already done a wonderful job preparing and now they had to go out and give their best effort in every match we wrestled. If we did that they knew we were a success whether we caught up on the score board or not. If we were the best we could be, that is all we could expect. If that won the tournament, great, if not, that was great too! I stressed the importance of wrestling their best over winning." "We won nine of our twelve matches. We won three of the four head on head matches against our rival. We were tied going into the last match of the tournament and our heavyweight went out and won the tournament. Best of all, our wrestlers learned that focusing and giving your best effort is what athletic competition and life is all about. This would not have happened without Personal Best. I was able to pass on your training and lessons and that was the difference in their performance."
Tom, with whom I have been friends for 55 years, is as fine a teacher, coach, role model, and man whom I have ever known. How fortunate his wrestlers are to have learned valuable life lessons from this great man. I believe this is Tom's final season of coaching. Please join me in congratulating him on a state championship, a brilliant career at two schools, and for impacting thousands of young people ... forever.
3-21-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- SSLANT
When I was Math Department Head at Reading High School, one of my responsibilities was interviewing candidates for math teacher openings. I really enjoyed that and had the privilege of meeting and recommending some great people. Yet, not all candidates presented what I was looking for.
For example, one time a man came in who had excellent credentials in terms of where he went to school, how well he did in school, his success in his current profession (he was in business/industry, but looking to leave that and become a teacher), and his personal recommendations. Yet, he entered the room and gave a less-than-enthusiastic handshake and when he sat across from me for the interview, he slumped back in his chair, stuck his legs out in front of him, and crossed his arms. Rather than make a first impression of enthusiasm and positivity his body language conveyed an attitude of indifference and entitlement. Well, I lost interest in this gentleman rather quickly.
On the other hand, I remember a similarly-qualified candidate who came in, gave a firm handshake with good eye contact, sat down with great posture, smiled, listened intensely, and presented herself in a positive and respectful manner. I knew pretty quickly that this was someone I wanted to put in front of our students every day. Not surprisingly, she turned out to be a fabulous teacher. Whereas Candidate #1 presented himself rather poorly, Candidate #2 utilized what I call SSLANT:
Sit up straight
Smile
Listen
Ask questions
Nod your head
Track their eyes
I tell this story to my students and tell them to use SSLANT whenever they want to make a good impression. And when should they want to make a good impression – job interview, first day of class, meeting a classmate for the first time . . . all the time! I think we adults know this, but maybe this is a good time to teach/remind our kids that SSLANT and a firm handshake will open doors wherever they go.
3-7-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best. -- I feel "great!"
Most days, as class begins, I ask my students, "How are you doing today?" Typical answers are "pretty good", "fine", "okay", and the popular "I'm tired". The one exception comes from one student (who happens to be autistic)' who always says, "great!"
In my last few years of coaching and teaching and now with every Personal Best presentation, the only answers we allow from our players, students, and audience is "great" (or fantastic, awesome, terrific, etc).
Here is the point: when we tell ourselves we feel "pretty good", how do you think we will perform that day? Probably pretty good. If we tell ourselves we feel "tired", then we just gave ourselves permission to perform tired. But when we tell ourselves we feel great (and certainly we know we don't actually feel great all the time), then everything changes. Our shoulders go back, our head goes up, our sternum goes out, we send out positive vibes, and we are more likely to receive positivity in return. Most of all, when we say we feel great, we give ourselves the best chance to perform great!
Remember: what we say to ourselves determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we perform.
So our MMM challenge is whenever you are asked how are you doing, respond with an enthusiastic "great!" and a smile. You will be amazed by how good (I mean, great) you will feel and how well you will perform at school, work, or play.
Most days, as class begins, I ask my students, "How are you doing today?" Typical answers are "pretty good", "fine", "okay", and the popular "I'm tired". The one exception comes from one student (who happens to be autistic)' who always says, "great!"
In my last few years of coaching and teaching and now with every Personal Best presentation, the only answers we allow from our players, students, and audience is "great" (or fantastic, awesome, terrific, etc).
Here is the point: when we tell ourselves we feel "pretty good", how do you think we will perform that day? Probably pretty good. If we tell ourselves we feel "tired", then we just gave ourselves permission to perform tired. But when we tell ourselves we feel great (and certainly we know we don't actually feel great all the time), then everything changes. Our shoulders go back, our head goes up, our sternum goes out, we send out positive vibes, and we are more likely to receive positivity in return. Most of all, when we say we feel great, we give ourselves the best chance to perform great!
Remember: what we say to ourselves determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we perform.
So our MMM challenge is whenever you are asked how are you doing, respond with an enthusiastic "great!" and a smile. You will be amazed by how good (I mean, great) you will feel and how well you will perform at school, work, or play.
2-29-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Happy Leap Day, Dad
My father was born on a Leap Day - February 29, 1924. And despite my Algebra I students claiming that he would only be 23 years old (we clearly have some work to do with that class!), he actually would be been 92 years old today.
As far as an MMM goes, my dad was my hero and my inspiration. Without having to say much, he motivated me (and still does!) to be the best person I could be.
I (we all) miss him tremendously but am grateful and blessed for the long, long time we had him. I know you all feel the same about your dads.
Photo is from 2015 Reading Memorial High School Athletic Hall of Fame ceremony program book
2-21-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Hooray for Young People
On Saturday, Personal Best traveled to Lyndon State College (Lyndonville, VT) to present our Mental Toughness program to its softball and baseball teams. This was our 3rd consecutive year working with the baseball team, coached by Tom White.
I have known Tom since he was born, as I played baseball at UNH with Tom's dad and have remained great friends with Tom (senior) and his family for 40+ years.
Young(er) Tom, who coached with us at Reading HS in my last season in 2013, took over the Lyndon State job in 2014 and has done a remarkable job in a short time. Barely 30 years old, Tom has transformed a ragtag, disorganized, and poorly regarded program into a respected program with a clear mission, identity, and character, while bringing the team unprecedented success.
Tom has done this through his wealth of baseball knowledge and experience (and a ton of hard work) but also through his dedication to teaching his players Mental Toughness skills. Scott Farris and I marveled at how Tom works with his players - he has high expectations for their effort and behavior; he has taught them that they must earn everything they get in baseball; he has made them believe in themselves and each other; he has taught them how to respond to adversity; he has made his team of what one player called "misfits" into a cohesive, mentally tough group that is ready to take on the challenges of a grueling season in northern New England.
Moreover, Scott and I can see (and the players do, too) that Coach White is setting them up for success for their entire lives. Tom is an amazing role model of character and integrity and we can see his players aspire to be like him. The mental toughness skills and strategies he is teaching them will, without doubt, give these young men the opportunity to be successful husbands, fathers, professionals, and citizens.
So not only were Scott and I proud to continue to teach Mental Toughness to Tom and his team, we were proud to see this young coach teach his players with passion and determination. It makes me think that there are, indeed, so many young coaches, teachers, mentors, and parents out there that are doing the right thing by living and teaching important values to even younger people.
So hooray for Tom White and his coaching staff; hooray for young people!
On Saturday, Personal Best traveled to Lyndon State College (Lyndonville, VT) to present our Mental Toughness program to its softball and baseball teams. This was our 3rd consecutive year working with the baseball team, coached by Tom White.
I have known Tom since he was born, as I played baseball at UNH with Tom's dad and have remained great friends with Tom (senior) and his family for 40+ years.
Young(er) Tom, who coached with us at Reading HS in my last season in 2013, took over the Lyndon State job in 2014 and has done a remarkable job in a short time. Barely 30 years old, Tom has transformed a ragtag, disorganized, and poorly regarded program into a respected program with a clear mission, identity, and character, while bringing the team unprecedented success.
Tom has done this through his wealth of baseball knowledge and experience (and a ton of hard work) but also through his dedication to teaching his players Mental Toughness skills. Scott Farris and I marveled at how Tom works with his players - he has high expectations for their effort and behavior; he has taught them that they must earn everything they get in baseball; he has made them believe in themselves and each other; he has taught them how to respond to adversity; he has made his team of what one player called "misfits" into a cohesive, mentally tough group that is ready to take on the challenges of a grueling season in northern New England.
Moreover, Scott and I can see (and the players do, too) that Coach White is setting them up for success for their entire lives. Tom is an amazing role model of character and integrity and we can see his players aspire to be like him. The mental toughness skills and strategies he is teaching them will, without doubt, give these young men the opportunity to be successful husbands, fathers, professionals, and citizens.
So not only were Scott and I proud to continue to teach Mental Toughness to Tom and his team, we were proud to see this young coach teach his players with passion and determination. It makes me think that there are, indeed, so many young coaches, teachers, mentors, and parents out there that are doing the right thing by living and teaching important values to even younger people.
So hooray for Tom White and his coaching staff; hooray for young people!
2-7-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best - Every Penny Counts
When I was a little boy, maybe 9 years old, the Ice Cream Truck used to drive down our street in the summer. Of course, kids back then played outdoors all day, in their yards or even in the street, so when the truck would ring its bell, kids from all over the neighborhood would swarm to it.
So there we were, a whole bunch of kids all forming a line to buy an ice cream or treat, when I noticed a couple of whom we called the “Big Kids” (they were probably 13 years old!) stealing bubble gum when they thought the Ice Cream Man was not looking. Well, he was looking and he caught them. Big Kids said, “What’s the big deal, they only cost a penny.” ICM went into his truck and came back with a handful of pennies and said, “When you have a handful of pennies, you have a dollar, and a handful of dollars makes $20, etc. So every penny does matter.”
I had not thought of that story much until today when I drove through Dunkin' Donuts and paid for my coffee. I gave Sam, the high school-aged girl at the window, nearly the exact amount. She gave me back a penny in change. I said, “Keep the penny. Big tipper.” Sam cheerfully said, “Every penny counts.”
That was refreshing to hear from a young person, because I do believe that every “penny” counts. I used to say, when I was coaching, that “everything matters.” It matters if you play catch with a specific purpose rather than mindlessly do so; it matters if you run hard on and off the field as opposed to just coast. For students, it matters if you put quality effort into your homework vs. just “get it done.” For us adults, every moment we spend with our kids, every time we reach out to a friend, every time we do our best at work– all matter. Those moments may not seem like much (after all, just a penny), but our genuine efforts will add up like the handful of pennies.
I believe that every “penny” we spend working hard, helping others, or being the best person we can be, shape and determine our future and maybe even impact the future of others. So thank you, Ice Cream Man and Sam at DD for teaching and reminding me that what we do in life on a daily basis, although it may seem trivial, really does count.
2-1-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Do the Hard
My Algebra I students (freshmen) were moaning about embarking upon a difficult topic (remember those Algebra I days?!). So I quickly thought of this and wrote it on the board.
You can:
1) Get it right away; then do very well on the test
2) Get it right way; but don't do well on test
3) Don't get it right away ... struggle ... struggle ... eventually get it; do very well on the test
4) Never get it; don't do well on test
Then I told them that we all experience each of these four at one time or another (they agreed). I asked them which option they prefer. They understandably chose 1).
That gave me a great opportunity to have a teaching moment. I said that although we may prefer to have option 1), that is not often the case in life. I told them to think of when they learned to tie their shoe, ride a bike, write a poem. Maybe some got it right away, but for most it was struggle, struggle, struggle - but eventually they got it and had success.
Then I asked which test would you prefer tomorrow: one with problems like 2 + 3 = or the challenging Algebra problems they have been studying. They said, "give us the easy test!" Oh, man, they still did not get my point! So I said, okay, let's have the 2 +3 test; you will all get 100. Will mom put it on the refrigerator and say how proud she is just because you got an A? They agreed, "No". But if you work very hard through more difficult concepts, put in the time and genuine effort and come home with an 81, will mom be proud; will you be proud? "Yes".
Yay, they got it! They got the lesson we adults know oh so well. There is no satisfaction, no reward in doing the easy. Learning, growth, satisfaction, and pride come from doing the hard stuff in life.
So for us teachers, parents, coaches, mentors - let's keep giving our kids the challenges they need in order to grow and learn; let us reward them for their genuine effort (not just results), and let us model in our own careers how "struggle, struggle, struggle, ... get it" is the formula for success!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best - Big Fish
An old man was fishing in a river and having great success as he pulled in fish after fish. Yet, strangely, he kept only the small fish and threw the big ones back into the river. A nearby onlooker asked the old man why he would keep the small fish and discard the big ones. The old man replied, "because I have only a 9 inch frying pan at home."
So this is about limitations and self-image. The old man saw his frying pan as his limitation. Yet it was not the pan; he self-imposed a limitation by seeing himself as a "Small-Fish(erman). Thus he missed out on the Big Fish (which represent our big opportunities, our big plans, our big dreams).
So what could he do if he wants the Big Fish? Two things : 1) he needs to raise his self- image to that of a Big Fish(erman) and 2) he needs to commit to doing things differently (maybe get a bigger frying pan or maybe cut up the big fish to fit in the 9 inch pan).
For us and our kids, our Big Fish may be wanting to raise our batting average in softball, getting a higher GPA, losing 20 pounds, or reaching the next level of performance/income in our career.
And then we catch our Big Fish by doing the same two things as the old man: raise our self-image and commit to doing things differently or better than before.
Remember: if we keep doing what we always have done, we will keep getting what we always have gotten. So raise your self-image, raise your ceiling, and go after those Big Fish!
An old man was fishing in a river and having great success as he pulled in fish after fish. Yet, strangely, he kept only the small fish and threw the big ones back into the river. A nearby onlooker asked the old man why he would keep the small fish and discard the big ones. The old man replied, "because I have only a 9 inch frying pan at home."
So this is about limitations and self-image. The old man saw his frying pan as his limitation. Yet it was not the pan; he self-imposed a limitation by seeing himself as a "Small-Fish(erman). Thus he missed out on the Big Fish (which represent our big opportunities, our big plans, our big dreams).
So what could he do if he wants the Big Fish? Two things : 1) he needs to raise his self- image to that of a Big Fish(erman) and 2) he needs to commit to doing things differently (maybe get a bigger frying pan or maybe cut up the big fish to fit in the 9 inch pan).
For us and our kids, our Big Fish may be wanting to raise our batting average in softball, getting a higher GPA, losing 20 pounds, or reaching the next level of performance/income in our career.
And then we catch our Big Fish by doing the same two things as the old man: raise our self-image and commit to doing things differently or better than before.
Remember: if we keep doing what we always have done, we will keep getting what we always have gotten. So raise your self-image, raise your ceiling, and go after those Big Fish!
1-18-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Building Champions
We held our annual Reading Baseball Alumni Club Dinner and Reunion Friday night at Great American Tavern in North Reading. Over 40 guys whom I had the privilege of coaching from 1977 to 2013 came to enjoy food, drink, memories, and camaraderie. It was a fantastic evening, for sure.
During the event, we paid tribute to the 1996 state championship team on their 20th anniversary. We also made note of the many league championship teams that players and coaches built together.
At one point, I took a step back and observed these men talking to each other - maybe about a practice or game from their playing days, but much more likely about their families, their careers, their lives. That's when I understood that as much as we thought it was important to build championships, it was much more important to build CHAMPIONS. And I think that's what our coaching staff did so well - we helped our players learn essential skills and attitudes that made them CHAMPIONS in their college academics, in their professional careers, in their community service, and as husbands, fathers, and men of great character. Saying I am proud doesn't even begin to express how I feel about that.
I know many of you are coaches - from the youth level on up, and in various sports. Take the advice of this old coach: dedicate yourself to building CHAMPIONS rather than championships and someday you will have the joy and pride of knowing you have helped young people grow into amazing adults!
We held our annual Reading Baseball Alumni Club Dinner and Reunion Friday night at Great American Tavern in North Reading. Over 40 guys whom I had the privilege of coaching from 1977 to 2013 came to enjoy food, drink, memories, and camaraderie. It was a fantastic evening, for sure.
During the event, we paid tribute to the 1996 state championship team on their 20th anniversary. We also made note of the many league championship teams that players and coaches built together.
At one point, I took a step back and observed these men talking to each other - maybe about a practice or game from their playing days, but much more likely about their families, their careers, their lives. That's when I understood that as much as we thought it was important to build championships, it was much more important to build CHAMPIONS. And I think that's what our coaching staff did so well - we helped our players learn essential skills and attitudes that made them CHAMPIONS in their college academics, in their professional careers, in their community service, and as husbands, fathers, and men of great character. Saying I am proud doesn't even begin to express how I feel about that.
I know many of you are coaches - from the youth level on up, and in various sports. Take the advice of this old coach: dedicate yourself to building CHAMPIONS rather than championships and someday you will have the joy and pride of knowing you have helped young people grow into amazing adults!
1-11-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Zero Time
I am reading a little book entitled "Calm - 50 Mindfulness and Relaxation Exercises to De-Stress and Unwind" by Dr. Arlene K. Unger. I took a photo of a strategy called "Make Zero Time" and posted here. The author recommends we make time each day to replenish ourselves by doing nothing.
I must admit that "doing nothing" is really tough for me. I have this need to try to fill every waking moment with productive activity. Yet, I am beginning to understand that this is actually counterproductive as filling every minute leads to stress and fatigue, which ultimately hinders performance.
So I am committed to making Zero Time each day. I'll give this a try, how about you?
I am reading a little book entitled "Calm - 50 Mindfulness and Relaxation Exercises to De-Stress and Unwind" by Dr. Arlene K. Unger. I took a photo of a strategy called "Make Zero Time" and posted here. The author recommends we make time each day to replenish ourselves by doing nothing.
I must admit that "doing nothing" is really tough for me. I have this need to try to fill every waking moment with productive activity. Yet, I am beginning to understand that this is actually counterproductive as filling every minute leads to stress and fatigue, which ultimately hinders performance.
So I am committed to making Zero Time each day. I'll give this a try, how about you?
1-3-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Making a Difference
My favorite Holiday movie is "It's a Wonderful Life" with James Stewart. As you well know, when Stewart's character, George Bailey, faces a personal/financial crisis and contemplates suicide, a guardian angel appears and shows George how different (and much worse) his town-family-friends-business would be if he had never been born. The point is that George is able to see how many people he has impacted; the number of people for whom he has "made a difference" without even knowing it. The following story illustration this point perfectly:
While walking along a beach, an elderly gentleman saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, picking up starfish one by one and tossing each one gently back into the water. He came closer still and called out, “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?" The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”
The old man smiled, and said, “I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?”To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”
Upon hearing this, the elderly observer commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”
The young man listened politely. Then he bent down, picked up another starfish, threw it into the back into the ocean past the breaking waves and said, “It made a difference for that one.”
Now I bet you have "made a difference" for countless people - family, friends, colleagues, students, clients, and so on. The beauty of this is that you can make a difference very easily and every day. Just like George Bailey, you can make a difference in someone's life by simply spending time with them, talking to them, showing that you care. Although it might appear to you that your effort is small and insignificant - to that particular person (just like the starfish), it might mean the world!
My favorite Holiday movie is "It's a Wonderful Life" with James Stewart. As you well know, when Stewart's character, George Bailey, faces a personal/financial crisis and contemplates suicide, a guardian angel appears and shows George how different (and much worse) his town-family-friends-business would be if he had never been born. The point is that George is able to see how many people he has impacted; the number of people for whom he has "made a difference" without even knowing it. The following story illustration this point perfectly:
While walking along a beach, an elderly gentleman saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, picking up starfish one by one and tossing each one gently back into the water. He came closer still and called out, “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?" The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”
The old man smiled, and said, “I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?”To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”
Upon hearing this, the elderly observer commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”
The young man listened politely. Then he bent down, picked up another starfish, threw it into the back into the ocean past the breaking waves and said, “It made a difference for that one.”
Now I bet you have "made a difference" for countless people - family, friends, colleagues, students, clients, and so on. The beauty of this is that you can make a difference very easily and every day. Just like George Bailey, you can make a difference in someone's life by simply spending time with them, talking to them, showing that you care. Although it might appear to you that your effort is small and insignificant - to that particular person (just like the starfish), it might mean the world!
1-27-16 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best
Well, the last MMM for 2015 is not an inspirational video, personal story, or words of wisdom, but a big thank you to all of you who have read, liked, shared, or commented on the 50 or so MMMs that I have posted in 2015.
It is knowing that somehow these posts are helping you through a tough day, starting your week off well, or putting a smile on your face that motivates me to continue creating posts that help you, even in the smallest of ways.
So thanks for supporting MMM for 2015; I look forward to sharing many more in 2016!
Well, the last MMM for 2015 is not an inspirational video, personal story, or words of wisdom, but a big thank you to all of you who have read, liked, shared, or commented on the 50 or so MMMs that I have posted in 2015.
It is knowing that somehow these posts are helping you through a tough day, starting your week off well, or putting a smile on your face that motivates me to continue creating posts that help you, even in the smallest of ways.
So thanks for supporting MMM for 2015; I look forward to sharing many more in 2016!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Personal Peace
At Christmastime we all hope for “Peace on Earth”. It is in our prayers, in our Christmas cards, and in our Christmas carols. Peace on Earth is certainly a wonderful thought worth hoping and praying for, but most difficult to achieve. In fact, each of us, individually, cannot bring about Peace on Earth. But what each of us can achieve is our Personal Peace of Mind and Heart.
I used to think that my personal peace would be achieved only when my kids were all doing well, all my loved ones were happy and healthy, my professional career was going well, my financial situation was strong, all my relationships were strong and happy, and so on.
Now I recognize that all those things are never likely to all occur at any one time and waiting and hoping for them to happen simultaneously was actually quite stressful and unrealistic.
So I think I have learned that my Personal Peace of Mind and Heart comes when I know that every day I am doing my best to be a great - husband, father, son, brother, friend, teacher, coach, colleague, and especially, person. I know that I make mistakes and have setbacks (every day!) and I know that I may never become great at all the things I wish. Yet I understand that as long as I am striving and working, learning and growing, caring and loving, then I can be at peace with myself and thus, with my place in the world.
I wish for all my great friends that you find your Personal Peace of Mind and Heart this Christmas.
From our family to yours,
Merry Christmas!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Jon's Village
This is a photo of our son’s Christmas tree in his new apartment. At age 30, our son, Jonathan, has moved out of our family home for the first time and into an apartment. For an autistic guy who has never slept one night away from home without at least one parent with him, this is a huge, huge step and scary to the nth degree.
Yet Jon has done this with courage and is proud of himself for making this move toward greater independence. Now, the apartment is .8 miles from home, so he does walk home most days to see his cat and his parents. And I have, so far, spent the evenings from 8-10:30 at his place to keep him from being too lonely (he lives alone). Yet he sleeps there alone, and gets up the next day and takes care of meal, hygiene, and apt cleaning needs. He will soon, I hope, have 2 hours per day of support staff on hand to help him with daily needs and provide some human contact. This may all work out well for him and it very possibly may not. But this is all, as my Dad would say, “moving in the right direction.”
Jon’s move has only been possible because of the ongoing support he has had his entire life. You have been “The Village” that has helped raise Jon. While there are far too many people to list here, let me say that if you you (teachers, friends, relatives, mentors, doctors, and so on) think you have helped Jon (and us) in any way in the last 30 years, you have! And we are forever grateful.
I will mention some folks who have helped in the most recent days. Mike Sullivan (RMHS Hall of Fame hockey player) owns the apartment building and has renovated the apartment far beyond what is required and has worked with us on every step to make this work for Jon. Sean McGoldrick (our baseball co-captain in 2008) does maintenance for the building and responds to our requests immediately and cheerfully. Billy Tucker (RMHS Hall of Fame football player) and Jon’s former teacher, helped move furniture on move-in day and used his humor and connection with Jon to make the very first day less stressful. Jim Murphy (another Hall of Famer!) and some other baseball alumni generously offered to purchase items such as TV or recliner to make Jon's transition happy and comfortable. And Jon has received phone calls, texts, visits, and FB messages of congratulations and support from so many of you – Brian Gordon (his Social Skills Coach), Pearlan Feeney-Grater (his fabulous therapist), Danny Kellett (Jon's friend since 2nd grade who spends a day with Jon every two weeks without fail), great forever friends Scott Farris and Sean Tiernan who are so committed to Jon and to my entire family, family friend and Jon’s former teacher, Gary d’Entremont, Patrick McLaughlin (he comes to our house to fix Jon’s computer issues almost weekly!), his brother Mike, his sister Lea, his future brother-in-law Steve Cella, his cousins, his uncles (Uncle Mike has been especially great for 30 years), his aunts, and his friends. For those of you who took time to extend such kindness, it helped greatly. I know Jon will continue to need such support and encouragement for a long time, so please stay in touch.
Again, this may be a great step toward Jon having a better life – hopefully getting a job, being more self-sufficient, maybe eventually living with other people. And it may not work – living alone is tough as his days are pretty empty now and Jon has other circumstances related to his autism and OCD that make days challenging. But whatever transpires, Jon (and May and I) have been fortunate to have you as his village. Thank you and God Bless you all.
This is a photo of our son’s Christmas tree in his new apartment. At age 30, our son, Jonathan, has moved out of our family home for the first time and into an apartment. For an autistic guy who has never slept one night away from home without at least one parent with him, this is a huge, huge step and scary to the nth degree.
Yet Jon has done this with courage and is proud of himself for making this move toward greater independence. Now, the apartment is .8 miles from home, so he does walk home most days to see his cat and his parents. And I have, so far, spent the evenings from 8-10:30 at his place to keep him from being too lonely (he lives alone). Yet he sleeps there alone, and gets up the next day and takes care of meal, hygiene, and apt cleaning needs. He will soon, I hope, have 2 hours per day of support staff on hand to help him with daily needs and provide some human contact. This may all work out well for him and it very possibly may not. But this is all, as my Dad would say, “moving in the right direction.”
Jon’s move has only been possible because of the ongoing support he has had his entire life. You have been “The Village” that has helped raise Jon. While there are far too many people to list here, let me say that if you you (teachers, friends, relatives, mentors, doctors, and so on) think you have helped Jon (and us) in any way in the last 30 years, you have! And we are forever grateful.
I will mention some folks who have helped in the most recent days. Mike Sullivan (RMHS Hall of Fame hockey player) owns the apartment building and has renovated the apartment far beyond what is required and has worked with us on every step to make this work for Jon. Sean McGoldrick (our baseball co-captain in 2008) does maintenance for the building and responds to our requests immediately and cheerfully. Billy Tucker (RMHS Hall of Fame football player) and Jon’s former teacher, helped move furniture on move-in day and used his humor and connection with Jon to make the very first day less stressful. Jim Murphy (another Hall of Famer!) and some other baseball alumni generously offered to purchase items such as TV or recliner to make Jon's transition happy and comfortable. And Jon has received phone calls, texts, visits, and FB messages of congratulations and support from so many of you – Brian Gordon (his Social Skills Coach), Pearlan Feeney-Grater (his fabulous therapist), Danny Kellett (Jon's friend since 2nd grade who spends a day with Jon every two weeks without fail), great forever friends Scott Farris and Sean Tiernan who are so committed to Jon and to my entire family, family friend and Jon’s former teacher, Gary d’Entremont, Patrick McLaughlin (he comes to our house to fix Jon’s computer issues almost weekly!), his brother Mike, his sister Lea, his future brother-in-law Steve Cella, his cousins, his uncles (Uncle Mike has been especially great for 30 years), his aunts, and his friends. For those of you who took time to extend such kindness, it helped greatly. I know Jon will continue to need such support and encouragement for a long time, so please stay in touch.
Again, this may be a great step toward Jon having a better life – hopefully getting a job, being more self-sufficient, maybe eventually living with other people. And it may not work – living alone is tough as his days are pretty empty now and Jon has other circumstances related to his autism and OCD that make days challenging. But whatever transpires, Jon (and May and I) have been fortunate to have you as his village. Thank you and God Bless you all.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- 50-year Friends
This weekend, May and I were honored to attend the surprise birthday party for Martha Weston, orchestrated by her two children and her husband, Al. It was a wonderful night and a well-deserved tribute to Martha, a beautiful person in every regard.
Among the 30 or so guests were the men (and their wives) in this photo; men who have been great friends for over 50 years - John Brenton, Rick Burpee, Al Weston, and me. We grew up together, played youth sports together, went to school at Coolidge Junior High together, and played baseball, football, and basketball together at RMHS. We stayed in touch through college (Al and I were at UNH together) and then, as often happens, we saw less of each other as we raised our children and carved out our careers.
Yet such friendships never die. We have reunited at Red Sox and Patriots games, at Class of '71 and Reading Baseball reunions, and at other celebrations. One of my favorite all-time baseball memories was playing alongside all three guys in a Reading Baseball Alumni Game in Cooperstown, NY in a year when we turned 60.
I always loved these guys so much when we were in school – what’s not to love? They were smart, funny, athletic, competitive, poised, confident, loyal – all the things I admired and hoped to be.
And now I look at them now and see the same smart, funny, competitive guys, but moreover I see amazing gentleman of class and integrity, of wisdom and kindness - and know that I have been blessed to have them as life-long friends.
Thanks, guys, for being loyal friends who have supported me in all I have done; I admired you when we were kids and young adults; I admire you and value your friendship so much more today!
This weekend, May and I were honored to attend the surprise birthday party for Martha Weston, orchestrated by her two children and her husband, Al. It was a wonderful night and a well-deserved tribute to Martha, a beautiful person in every regard.
Among the 30 or so guests were the men (and their wives) in this photo; men who have been great friends for over 50 years - John Brenton, Rick Burpee, Al Weston, and me. We grew up together, played youth sports together, went to school at Coolidge Junior High together, and played baseball, football, and basketball together at RMHS. We stayed in touch through college (Al and I were at UNH together) and then, as often happens, we saw less of each other as we raised our children and carved out our careers.
Yet such friendships never die. We have reunited at Red Sox and Patriots games, at Class of '71 and Reading Baseball reunions, and at other celebrations. One of my favorite all-time baseball memories was playing alongside all three guys in a Reading Baseball Alumni Game in Cooperstown, NY in a year when we turned 60.
I always loved these guys so much when we were in school – what’s not to love? They were smart, funny, athletic, competitive, poised, confident, loyal – all the things I admired and hoped to be.
And now I look at them now and see the same smart, funny, competitive guys, but moreover I see amazing gentleman of class and integrity, of wisdom and kindness - and know that I have been blessed to have them as life-long friends.
Thanks, guys, for being loyal friends who have supported me in all I have done; I admired you when we were kids and young adults; I admire you and value your friendship so much more today!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best --- A "good" practice
Each week I read about the Patriots, or any football team, whose coach might say, “We had a good week of practice.” Coaching High School Baseball is different (not better or worse, just different) in that once the season gets rolling, we would usually have one practice day to prepare for the next game. Back in my coaching days, I, too, would comment about whether we “had a good day of practice.”
Here is what I know now and, honestly, I think I knew back then. A good day of practice was not just when our players worked hard, stayed focused, executed their drills properly, and improved. A good practice was when we, as a team, would LAUGH. It might have been something a player or coach said or a physical feat gone terribly wrong on the field. If we took the time to laugh, then I knew we were in good shape.
If our players laughed, then I knew they were bonding, having fun, and having a positive experience. That, I knew, would lead to our kids playing relaxed and with confidence. Positive results in the game almost always ensued.
I remember fondly my Math Department Head days at Reading Memorial High School. Our Math Department laughed and had fun every single day- by design! We planned opportunities for us all to laugh together. I knew that was good because, just like the baseball team, my Math Team was thus bonding, enjoying work, and teaching with a positive attitude.
So the MMM here is to LAUGH. At school, at work, in sports, in recreation, at home. It is impossible to laugh and be stressed at the same time. Laugh and let your brain create feel-good chemicals that make you feel even more positive. Laugh and watch how others will laugh along with you. Laugh (and smile a lot) and the small stuff will seem very small and you will enjoy your colleagues, your friends, your family . . . your every day!
Each week I read about the Patriots, or any football team, whose coach might say, “We had a good week of practice.” Coaching High School Baseball is different (not better or worse, just different) in that once the season gets rolling, we would usually have one practice day to prepare for the next game. Back in my coaching days, I, too, would comment about whether we “had a good day of practice.”
Here is what I know now and, honestly, I think I knew back then. A good day of practice was not just when our players worked hard, stayed focused, executed their drills properly, and improved. A good practice was when we, as a team, would LAUGH. It might have been something a player or coach said or a physical feat gone terribly wrong on the field. If we took the time to laugh, then I knew we were in good shape.
If our players laughed, then I knew they were bonding, having fun, and having a positive experience. That, I knew, would lead to our kids playing relaxed and with confidence. Positive results in the game almost always ensued.
I remember fondly my Math Department Head days at Reading Memorial High School. Our Math Department laughed and had fun every single day- by design! We planned opportunities for us all to laugh together. I knew that was good because, just like the baseball team, my Math Team was thus bonding, enjoying work, and teaching with a positive attitude.
So the MMM here is to LAUGH. At school, at work, in sports, in recreation, at home. It is impossible to laugh and be stressed at the same time. Laugh and let your brain create feel-good chemicals that make you feel even more positive. Laugh and watch how others will laugh along with you. Laugh (and smile a lot) and the small stuff will seem very small and you will enjoy your colleagues, your friends, your family . . . your every day!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Thanks, Coaches
One of the things I am most thankful for is that, 45 years ago, I had three high school coaches who were not just great coaches, but tremendous mentors and men of wonderful character. How lucky am I that I learned valuable life lessons from them and became (and remain today!) close friends with each of them.
I was glad that I had the opportunity last night at the Reading Memorial High School Athletic Hall of Fame induction ceremony, to take this photo with them and, especially, tell them that I chose to become a teacher and coach because of their influence.
I learned from Dick Gillis (basketball), John Hollingsworth (football), and Gil Congdon (baseball) that coaching is not about X's and O's or wins and losses. It is about RELATIONSHIPS. A coach could be tough, demanding, and intense yet forge a relationship with each player based on respect, honesty, and trust.
I tried to make that the trademark of my coaching career and am proud that I built relationships with my players that remain strong today. Thank you, my former players, for that.
So thank you Mr. Gillis, Mr. Hollingsworth, Mr. Congdon. I would not have been the coach, teacher, husband, or father that I am today without you.
Now I bet you have an old coach, teacher, mentor, or friend about whom you feel the same way. Thanksgiving - perfect time to tell them how you feel.
One of the things I am most thankful for is that, 45 years ago, I had three high school coaches who were not just great coaches, but tremendous mentors and men of wonderful character. How lucky am I that I learned valuable life lessons from them and became (and remain today!) close friends with each of them.
I was glad that I had the opportunity last night at the Reading Memorial High School Athletic Hall of Fame induction ceremony, to take this photo with them and, especially, tell them that I chose to become a teacher and coach because of their influence.
I learned from Dick Gillis (basketball), John Hollingsworth (football), and Gil Congdon (baseball) that coaching is not about X's and O's or wins and losses. It is about RELATIONSHIPS. A coach could be tough, demanding, and intense yet forge a relationship with each player based on respect, honesty, and trust.
I tried to make that the trademark of my coaching career and am proud that I built relationships with my players that remain strong today. Thank you, my former players, for that.
So thank you Mr. Gillis, Mr. Hollingsworth, Mr. Congdon. I would not have been the coach, teacher, husband, or father that I am today without you.
Now I bet you have an old coach, teacher, mentor, or friend about whom you feel the same way. Thanksgiving - perfect time to tell them how you feel.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Raking Leaves
Why does it seem like leaves always blow from my neighbors’ yards into my yard but never blow off my yard into someone else’s? My leaf-removal routine includes traversing my lawns with a leaf vacuum (looks like an oversized lawn mower and works great) and then going over the lawns with my mower. Theoretically, my yard would then be devoid of leaves with a lawn mowed green and beautiful. Yet, by the time I finish one lawn, I look back and see that the wind has blown neighborly leaves back onto the areas I have just finished! So I do the routine again, continuing this Sisyphus-like never-ending cycle of leaf removal.
Now I see that this leaf thing is a metaphor for life. Just as it seems we are never finished with raking leaves, we are never finished with most of the important things in life. If we are raising kids, we are never done doing so, even when they are adults. If we are building-renovating-maintaining a home, that task is certainly never done. In our careers, we never are done learning and achieving and progressing. Even with enjoyable tasks like playing tennis, we never get to where we want to be; we always are working to improve. And, most importantly, in our quest to become a better husband/wife/father/mother/friend/person, that, we know, has no end. Our life-long mission is to continually strive and struggle, try and triumph, stumble and grow, every day, to become the best humans we can be.
I used to find all of this rather aggravating. Why can’t I ever be done?! Now I think it is kind of cool. I guess this is what is meant by "it's the journey, not the destination". So now I say, “Come on, Wind, blow over those leaves!” and “Go ahead, Life, bring it on!”
Why does it seem like leaves always blow from my neighbors’ yards into my yard but never blow off my yard into someone else’s? My leaf-removal routine includes traversing my lawns with a leaf vacuum (looks like an oversized lawn mower and works great) and then going over the lawns with my mower. Theoretically, my yard would then be devoid of leaves with a lawn mowed green and beautiful. Yet, by the time I finish one lawn, I look back and see that the wind has blown neighborly leaves back onto the areas I have just finished! So I do the routine again, continuing this Sisyphus-like never-ending cycle of leaf removal.
Now I see that this leaf thing is a metaphor for life. Just as it seems we are never finished with raking leaves, we are never finished with most of the important things in life. If we are raising kids, we are never done doing so, even when they are adults. If we are building-renovating-maintaining a home, that task is certainly never done. In our careers, we never are done learning and achieving and progressing. Even with enjoyable tasks like playing tennis, we never get to where we want to be; we always are working to improve. And, most importantly, in our quest to become a better husband/wife/father/mother/friend/person, that, we know, has no end. Our life-long mission is to continually strive and struggle, try and triumph, stumble and grow, every day, to become the best humans we can be.
I used to find all of this rather aggravating. Why can’t I ever be done?! Now I think it is kind of cool. I guess this is what is meant by "it's the journey, not the destination". So now I say, “Come on, Wind, blow over those leaves!” and “Go ahead, Life, bring it on!”
Monday Morning Motivator -- Take the hits and keep moving forward
In the latest Rocky movie (I think it was something like Rocky XXXII !), Rocky goes to his son’s place of work to speak to him and discreetly notices his son’s boss berating him and sticking his finger in Rocky’s son’s face. Rocky walks away unseen but later meets up with his son outside Rocky’s restaurant. The following scene ensues:
https://youtu.be/uL98eppJ0Hs
Rocky’s message is applicable to all of us. Life hits us hard and nobody escapes life’s adversities and hardships. Each day, we will “take a hit” – our child is struggling in school, our elderly parent is ill, our work is stressful and demanding, our financial obligations seem overwhelming, and so on. Adversity is unavoidable; “taking hits” is an essential of life. But as Rocky says, “It ain’t about how hard you can hit; it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
I have some people very dear to me who are really taking some hits these days. I know what it is like; I have been there, too (still am!). Yet I know each of you has the courage, the skill, the mental toughness, and the support team to “take the hits and keep moving forward”. Rocky says that’s how winning is done. I say that’s how living is done. You can do it; we can do it together.
In the latest Rocky movie (I think it was something like Rocky XXXII !), Rocky goes to his son’s place of work to speak to him and discreetly notices his son’s boss berating him and sticking his finger in Rocky’s son’s face. Rocky walks away unseen but later meets up with his son outside Rocky’s restaurant. The following scene ensues:
https://youtu.be/uL98eppJ0Hs
Rocky’s message is applicable to all of us. Life hits us hard and nobody escapes life’s adversities and hardships. Each day, we will “take a hit” – our child is struggling in school, our elderly parent is ill, our work is stressful and demanding, our financial obligations seem overwhelming, and so on. Adversity is unavoidable; “taking hits” is an essential of life. But as Rocky says, “It ain’t about how hard you can hit; it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
I have some people very dear to me who are really taking some hits these days. I know what it is like; I have been there, too (still am!). Yet I know each of you has the courage, the skill, the mental toughness, and the support team to “take the hits and keep moving forward”. Rocky says that’s how winning is done. I say that’s how living is done. You can do it; we can do it together.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- I Am Third
Lowell Catholic High School conducts an annual Walk-a-Thon where all students and faculty walk in the community as a fundraiser for the school. At the conclusion of the 3-mile walk, there is a cookout, so students form a long line to receive hot dogs, hamburgers, and so on. Teachers and Administrators are allowed to receive their food first rather than wait in line. But our amazing Principal, Maryellen DeMarco, waits until every student, teacher, and parent has been served and takes her place at the end of the 450-person line. I stood in line next to her and said, “You know, as Principal and the person who set up this entire event, you certainly have the right to move ahead in line to get your food. Yet you wait until everybody else eats before you take your turn.” She smiled, and patted me on the arm as if to say, “Thanks for noticing.”
Mrs. DeMarco’s philosophy matches that of Hall of Fame football player, Gale Sayers, whose autobiography was titled “I Am Third”. The book was the inspiration for the movie Brian’s Song. Anyway, Sayers stated, “the Lord is first, my family and friends are second, and I am third.” In Mrs. DeMarco’s professional career, she has decided that her students are first, her teachers are second, and she is third (or fourth, fifth, etc.!).
Lowell Catholic High School conducts an annual Walk-a-Thon where all students and faculty walk in the community as a fundraiser for the school. At the conclusion of the 3-mile walk, there is a cookout, so students form a long line to receive hot dogs, hamburgers, and so on. Teachers and Administrators are allowed to receive their food first rather than wait in line. But our amazing Principal, Maryellen DeMarco, waits until every student, teacher, and parent has been served and takes her place at the end of the 450-person line. I stood in line next to her and said, “You know, as Principal and the person who set up this entire event, you certainly have the right to move ahead in line to get your food. Yet you wait until everybody else eats before you take your turn.” She smiled, and patted me on the arm as if to say, “Thanks for noticing.”
Mrs. DeMarco’s philosophy matches that of Hall of Fame football player, Gale Sayers, whose autobiography was titled “I Am Third”. The book was the inspiration for the movie Brian’s Song. Anyway, Sayers stated, “the Lord is first, my family and friends are second, and I am third.” In Mrs. DeMarco’s professional career, she has decided that her students are first, her teachers are second, and she is third (or fourth, fifth, etc.!).
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Be an Energy-Giver
In case you have not seen this high school football post-game interview with Apollos Hester, you are in for a treat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7ymriMhoj0
This young man is Fountain of Positivity and an Energy-Giver from whom we can all learn. We listened to him say:
I don't know about you, but this kid inspires me to be positive, energetic, and to enjoy every moment!
In case you have not seen this high school football post-game interview with Apollos Hester, you are in for a treat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7ymriMhoj0
This young man is Fountain of Positivity and an Energy-Giver from whom we can all learn. We listened to him say:
- Sometimes in life we start slow, but always finish fast, finish hard.
- All it takes to be successful is an attitude.
- Do it for each other.
- It is an awesome feeling when you truly believe you will be successful, regardless of the scoreboard.
- Win or lose, we're going to be all right; we're going to keep smiling.
- If you fall down, just get up. If you can't get up, your friends are there to help you.
I don't know about you, but this kid inspires me to be positive, energetic, and to enjoy every moment!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- SNL
Saturday Night Lights (SNL) is an immensely popular youth flag football league in Reading and other local communities. SNL was created, and is operated by, RMHS alums Jim Murphy and Carl McFadden.
I had heard how well-organized, exciting, and fun the program is and I got my first look at it on Saturday night. It is incredible! Maybe 450 kids playing in three time/age slots on Hollingsworth Field, Turf II Field, and softball fields. Totally impressed with the organization, upbeat atmosphere, level of coaching, and playing ability of the kids. So congrats to Jim and Carl and everyone with SNL.
I went to the fields to watch my future son-in-law Steve Cella's son and nephew play. It was great to see Steve, his parents, and several other family members - all fabulous people (Lea has chosen a great family!). The bonus for me was that I got to see some of my former Reading Baseball players who were there as coaches and/or dads. I had the chance to see, all in the same game, sons of Jim Murphy ('93), Dan Robinson ('94), and Tom Fratto ('94), as well as Steve's son and nephew. Not only was it great to see the kids play so well but it was particularly great to have a chance to talk to my former players (always a very special time for me). Funny, but as I watched the kids of my players play, I felt a sense of pride (as if I had something to do with it!). I think the prideful feeling really was from watching Jim-Dan-Tom-Steve, not as may players any more, but as wonderful dads. Seeing them supporting and enjoying their kids on the field, just as their own moms and dads supported them when they played for RMHS, truly made my Saturday Night!
Saturday Night Lights (SNL) is an immensely popular youth flag football league in Reading and other local communities. SNL was created, and is operated by, RMHS alums Jim Murphy and Carl McFadden.
I had heard how well-organized, exciting, and fun the program is and I got my first look at it on Saturday night. It is incredible! Maybe 450 kids playing in three time/age slots on Hollingsworth Field, Turf II Field, and softball fields. Totally impressed with the organization, upbeat atmosphere, level of coaching, and playing ability of the kids. So congrats to Jim and Carl and everyone with SNL.
I went to the fields to watch my future son-in-law Steve Cella's son and nephew play. It was great to see Steve, his parents, and several other family members - all fabulous people (Lea has chosen a great family!). The bonus for me was that I got to see some of my former Reading Baseball players who were there as coaches and/or dads. I had the chance to see, all in the same game, sons of Jim Murphy ('93), Dan Robinson ('94), and Tom Fratto ('94), as well as Steve's son and nephew. Not only was it great to see the kids play so well but it was particularly great to have a chance to talk to my former players (always a very special time for me). Funny, but as I watched the kids of my players play, I felt a sense of pride (as if I had something to do with it!). I think the prideful feeling really was from watching Jim-Dan-Tom-Steve, not as may players any more, but as wonderful dads. Seeing them supporting and enjoying their kids on the field, just as their own moms and dads supported them when they played for RMHS, truly made my Saturday Night!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Coach Farris
The late Zig Ziglar once stated, "You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want."
In a time when so many people live by the mantra, “What about me?”, Zig’s comment is a breath of fresh air.
I know someone who demonstrates Zig's philosophy every day. My former player/long-time Assistant Baseball Coach/current business partner/30-year great friend, Scott Farris, lives by this credo. He is amazingly unselfish in everything he does.
He has dedicated his professional life to helping others. Through baseball, far beyond just teaching players how to hit, catch, and throw, he has taught each player how to work hard, believe in himself, be a great teammate, and how to be a better man. In addition, Scott helps people through Personal Best classes and private lessons where he has enabled countless people to learn, grow, and succeed far beyond their own expectations. I know that is true because those people have told me how much Scott has helped them.
It doesn’t stop there. Scott demonstrates the same type of service on a personal level.
Need someone to help re-shingle your roof on hot summer day? Scott is there to help and stays start to finish.
Need someone to give up their Saturday night to help you set up for baseball camp at 9:00 pm on eight consecutive Saturdays in January/February? Scott is there.
Need someone to shovel a 200-foot long path through 4 feet of snow in order to get to some baseball equipment in a storage shed? Scott does the back-breaking work with pleasure.
Need someone to do a 100-mile bike ride to support friends with Parkinson’s Disease? Scott does that every year.
Need someone to drive home from Cooperstown, NY, literally in a hurricane because you wanted to get home earlier than planned? Scott drives the entire 5 frightening hours while you (me) sleep.
Need someone to be a totally dedicated, brilliant Assistant Coach for 20 years as a volunteer at $0 pay? Scott was the best.
Need a ride to the airport, need someone to help you move furniture, need someone just to talk to? Scott, Scott, Scott.
He never asks for anything in return. He just wants to help people - you, me.
I hope Scott knows how many people he has helped and how much we all appreciate him. If you are one of Scott’s former players, Personal Best students, teammate, fellow coach, or friend and have been the recipient of Scott’s kindness, then I think we should let him know. After all, if he has helped us get what we want, let's help him get what he deserves – hearing us say thank you.
The late Zig Ziglar once stated, "You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want."
In a time when so many people live by the mantra, “What about me?”, Zig’s comment is a breath of fresh air.
I know someone who demonstrates Zig's philosophy every day. My former player/long-time Assistant Baseball Coach/current business partner/30-year great friend, Scott Farris, lives by this credo. He is amazingly unselfish in everything he does.
He has dedicated his professional life to helping others. Through baseball, far beyond just teaching players how to hit, catch, and throw, he has taught each player how to work hard, believe in himself, be a great teammate, and how to be a better man. In addition, Scott helps people through Personal Best classes and private lessons where he has enabled countless people to learn, grow, and succeed far beyond their own expectations. I know that is true because those people have told me how much Scott has helped them.
It doesn’t stop there. Scott demonstrates the same type of service on a personal level.
Need someone to help re-shingle your roof on hot summer day? Scott is there to help and stays start to finish.
Need someone to give up their Saturday night to help you set up for baseball camp at 9:00 pm on eight consecutive Saturdays in January/February? Scott is there.
Need someone to shovel a 200-foot long path through 4 feet of snow in order to get to some baseball equipment in a storage shed? Scott does the back-breaking work with pleasure.
Need someone to do a 100-mile bike ride to support friends with Parkinson’s Disease? Scott does that every year.
Need someone to drive home from Cooperstown, NY, literally in a hurricane because you wanted to get home earlier than planned? Scott drives the entire 5 frightening hours while you (me) sleep.
Need someone to be a totally dedicated, brilliant Assistant Coach for 20 years as a volunteer at $0 pay? Scott was the best.
Need a ride to the airport, need someone to help you move furniture, need someone just to talk to? Scott, Scott, Scott.
He never asks for anything in return. He just wants to help people - you, me.
I hope Scott knows how many people he has helped and how much we all appreciate him. If you are one of Scott’s former players, Personal Best students, teammate, fellow coach, or friend and have been the recipient of Scott’s kindness, then I think we should let him know. After all, if he has helped us get what we want, let's help him get what he deserves – hearing us say thank you.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best --- Mental Toughness Creed
This is a creed that we created for use in our Personal Best classes. Every participant receives an extensive packet of notes, worksheets, and other pertinent documents. The Mental Toughness Creed includes all the key points that we teach in our classes. We have received great feedback on this particular one, as people have told us that they post it at home or at work and refer to it regularly. So we hope you find it beneficial, too.
You can download in pdf form via link shown below.
PS - if you are not sure what some of the statements mean, e.g., "next 200 feet", contact us or even better - take one of our classes!
This is a creed that we created for use in our Personal Best classes. Every participant receives an extensive packet of notes, worksheets, and other pertinent documents. The Mental Toughness Creed includes all the key points that we teach in our classes. We have received great feedback on this particular one, as people have told us that they post it at home or at work and refer to it regularly. So we hope you find it beneficial, too.
You can download in pdf form via link shown below.
PS - if you are not sure what some of the statements mean, e.g., "next 200 feet", contact us or even better - take one of our classes!
Click below to download the Mental Toughness Creed as described in the MMM:
mental_toughness_creed.pdf | |
File Size: | 531 kb |
File Type: |
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Roommates
My brothers were my first roommates from 1953-1971 and my wife May has been my roommate since 1976. But in between, I had a college roommate at UNH named Craig McMurray. This weekend, May and I went to the Wequassett Resort in Brewster for his daughter's wedding. In photo, see Craig, May, Pete, and Craig's wife, Susan. It was a fabulous wedding and venue for sure, but that is not the point of this MMM.
Craig is from Scarsdale, NY and has lived with his family in Sacramento, CA for the past many years. We see each other maybe once every 2-3 years, yet we remain the greatest of friends. The reason why is because when we were roommates we created a special bond that will last forever. Those age 18-22 years are when most of us try to figure out who we are and what we want to do with our lives. During those critical years, Craig and I played together, laughed together, cried together, shared our ambitions and dreams, and spoke of our fears and our failures. In a sense, we grew up together. And every step of the way, Craig supported me in everything I did. If I did not do well on a test, if I played poorly in baseball, or if I was sulky because I was missing my girlfriend (May), he lifted me with his humor and positive demeanor. In addition to the great fun we had together, Craig helped me learn and grow through those key years.
Craig has a wonderful family and has an extremely successful career, yet has endured more than his share of personal tragedy and heartache throughout his life. Nevertheless, he always moves forward with courage and conviction; he never feels sorry for himself. Instead, he casts his attention toward others; he supports my family and shows genuine concern our own daily challenges. And now, 44 years later, I finally take the opportunity to thank him and tell you all about him.
Now I bet you had a roommate or friend who was important to you during your college years or at another critical juncture in your life, but with whom you may have lost touch. How about you reach out to her/him and tell that person how much s/he has meant to you, and maybe renew the special bond that exists between Roommates
My brothers were my first roommates from 1953-1971 and my wife May has been my roommate since 1976. But in between, I had a college roommate at UNH named Craig McMurray. This weekend, May and I went to the Wequassett Resort in Brewster for his daughter's wedding. In photo, see Craig, May, Pete, and Craig's wife, Susan. It was a fabulous wedding and venue for sure, but that is not the point of this MMM.
Craig is from Scarsdale, NY and has lived with his family in Sacramento, CA for the past many years. We see each other maybe once every 2-3 years, yet we remain the greatest of friends. The reason why is because when we were roommates we created a special bond that will last forever. Those age 18-22 years are when most of us try to figure out who we are and what we want to do with our lives. During those critical years, Craig and I played together, laughed together, cried together, shared our ambitions and dreams, and spoke of our fears and our failures. In a sense, we grew up together. And every step of the way, Craig supported me in everything I did. If I did not do well on a test, if I played poorly in baseball, or if I was sulky because I was missing my girlfriend (May), he lifted me with his humor and positive demeanor. In addition to the great fun we had together, Craig helped me learn and grow through those key years.
Craig has a wonderful family and has an extremely successful career, yet has endured more than his share of personal tragedy and heartache throughout his life. Nevertheless, he always moves forward with courage and conviction; he never feels sorry for himself. Instead, he casts his attention toward others; he supports my family and shows genuine concern our own daily challenges. And now, 44 years later, I finally take the opportunity to thank him and tell you all about him.
Now I bet you had a roommate or friend who was important to you during your college years or at another critical juncture in your life, but with whom you may have lost touch. How about you reach out to her/him and tell that person how much s/he has meant to you, and maybe renew the special bond that exists between Roommates
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Ordinary People?
The late Jim Valvano was the Head Men’s Basketball Coach at North Carolina State where his underdog team won a National Championship in 1983. Unfortunately, a few years later, Coach Valvano was diagnosed with cancer in 1992 at age 46. Despite his failing condition, he delivered a legendary, inspirational speech at the ESPY Awards a few months later.
A key point of his speech was, “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.”
Pretty sage advice. In another instance, Coach Valvano is known to have said, “God must have loved ordinary people because he made so many of us.”
Well, I hate to disagree with Coach Valvano, but I think God made so many EXTRAordinary people – like you! In our society, some think that a person must have millions of dollars, a villa in Spain, an Olympic medal, or an Academy Award to be important. But I think what you do, every day, is indeed important and extraordinary.
You get up every day and work hard at your profession, you raise your kids, you maintain your home, you handle your finances, you care for elderly parents, you do charitable work, and you sacrifice your own needs for the benefit of others at home, school, at work. To me, that is hard, that is important, that is extraordinary!
So as you go through your daily routines and feel that sometimes your tasks are mundane or even pointless - stop. Stop and give yourself some credit. Understand that although what you do, day in and day out, may not seem extraordinary to you, your efforts are special to others. To the people for whom you are working and sacrificing - your family, friends, and colleagues - you may be the most important person in the world!
The late Jim Valvano was the Head Men’s Basketball Coach at North Carolina State where his underdog team won a National Championship in 1983. Unfortunately, a few years later, Coach Valvano was diagnosed with cancer in 1992 at age 46. Despite his failing condition, he delivered a legendary, inspirational speech at the ESPY Awards a few months later.
A key point of his speech was, “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.”
Pretty sage advice. In another instance, Coach Valvano is known to have said, “God must have loved ordinary people because he made so many of us.”
Well, I hate to disagree with Coach Valvano, but I think God made so many EXTRAordinary people – like you! In our society, some think that a person must have millions of dollars, a villa in Spain, an Olympic medal, or an Academy Award to be important. But I think what you do, every day, is indeed important and extraordinary.
You get up every day and work hard at your profession, you raise your kids, you maintain your home, you handle your finances, you care for elderly parents, you do charitable work, and you sacrifice your own needs for the benefit of others at home, school, at work. To me, that is hard, that is important, that is extraordinary!
So as you go through your daily routines and feel that sometimes your tasks are mundane or even pointless - stop. Stop and give yourself some credit. Understand that although what you do, day in and day out, may not seem extraordinary to you, your efforts are special to others. To the people for whom you are working and sacrificing - your family, friends, and colleagues - you may be the most important person in the world!
Monday Motivator by Personal Best -- Back to School
There are 3 words that, for many kids, bring on despair, but for many parents bring on joy – Back to School!
So in honor of the beginning of another school year, we invite you to write a Comment about a funny, happy, unusual, or memorable school story. It can be any story about you or your own kids that occurred from Pre-School to grade12. Only rule is, please, no disparaging comments about any teacher, student, or parent. We can have some fun with this.
Here is mine: It was my very first day of school, ever – First Grade (there was no public Kindergarten in Reading back then in 1959!). I happily went to my first day at Birch Meadow School to meet my new classmates and my teacher, Mrs. Woods. I remember nothing about how that day transpired except for the very end of the day. We had been given all kinds of cool school supplies – pencils, rulers, paper, crayons – and we were to put them inside our desks (we had the kind with an opening). I was in such Little Geek First Grader Heaven that I was actually whistling aloud as I organized my supplies! Then, much to my surprise my teacher barked, “Who is whistling? We do not whistle in school!!” I was devastated to think that I could not express the joy I was feeling on my very first day of school. “Yikes”, I thought, “this school thing is going to be a tougher gig than I imagined.”
No worries, though, Mrs. Woods turned out to be very nice, and I continued to go Back to School for, well, the next 56 years and counting!
There are 3 words that, for many kids, bring on despair, but for many parents bring on joy – Back to School!
So in honor of the beginning of another school year, we invite you to write a Comment about a funny, happy, unusual, or memorable school story. It can be any story about you or your own kids that occurred from Pre-School to grade12. Only rule is, please, no disparaging comments about any teacher, student, or parent. We can have some fun with this.
Here is mine: It was my very first day of school, ever – First Grade (there was no public Kindergarten in Reading back then in 1959!). I happily went to my first day at Birch Meadow School to meet my new classmates and my teacher, Mrs. Woods. I remember nothing about how that day transpired except for the very end of the day. We had been given all kinds of cool school supplies – pencils, rulers, paper, crayons – and we were to put them inside our desks (we had the kind with an opening). I was in such Little Geek First Grader Heaven that I was actually whistling aloud as I organized my supplies! Then, much to my surprise my teacher barked, “Who is whistling? We do not whistle in school!!” I was devastated to think that I could not express the joy I was feeling on my very first day of school. “Yikes”, I thought, “this school thing is going to be a tougher gig than I imagined.”
No worries, though, Mrs. Woods turned out to be very nice, and I continued to go Back to School for, well, the next 56 years and counting!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Youth Sports Trophies?
There has been a lot of discussion recently, in the sports world, about the pros and cons of awarding “participation trophies” in youth sports. That is the practice of giving each team member an actual trophy at the end of the season to recognize her/his participation on the team.
I can see both sides of the argument but will not get into that. Instead, I will make this suggestion: instead of trophies, how about give each player a team photo. That recognizes that each player was part of the team and serves as a nice memory (especially years later!) of the kids with whom you played with and shared a common experience.
In addition, the coach should write something unique and positive about each player on the back of the photo, such as “Billy, I am proud of you for how hard you worked and improved this season” or “Jennifer, you were a great teammate; I always noticed that you supported your teammates when they were having a tough day.” A good coach should be able to do this; such comments recognize kids for their unique contribution and for things like effort, attitude, improvement, and unselfishness – all the things we try to teach through sports.
Personal Best will be working this week with an Elite Women’s U19 Hockey Team; the team is comprised of very talented hockey players who will all have collegiate careers. We will present this thought to them:
Rather than concern yourself with playing time, who has the most goals, college scouts, all-star selection, etc., instead imagine how great your team and each of you, individually, will be when all you care about is having the Best Attitude and Best Work Ethic that you can, and being the Best Teammate that you can be. It will work for elite hockey players; it will certainly work for youth sports.
There has been a lot of discussion recently, in the sports world, about the pros and cons of awarding “participation trophies” in youth sports. That is the practice of giving each team member an actual trophy at the end of the season to recognize her/his participation on the team.
I can see both sides of the argument but will not get into that. Instead, I will make this suggestion: instead of trophies, how about give each player a team photo. That recognizes that each player was part of the team and serves as a nice memory (especially years later!) of the kids with whom you played with and shared a common experience.
In addition, the coach should write something unique and positive about each player on the back of the photo, such as “Billy, I am proud of you for how hard you worked and improved this season” or “Jennifer, you were a great teammate; I always noticed that you supported your teammates when they were having a tough day.” A good coach should be able to do this; such comments recognize kids for their unique contribution and for things like effort, attitude, improvement, and unselfishness – all the things we try to teach through sports.
Personal Best will be working this week with an Elite Women’s U19 Hockey Team; the team is comprised of very talented hockey players who will all have collegiate careers. We will present this thought to them:
Rather than concern yourself with playing time, who has the most goals, college scouts, all-star selection, etc., instead imagine how great your team and each of you, individually, will be when all you care about is having the Best Attitude and Best Work Ethic that you can, and being the Best Teammate that you can be. It will work for elite hockey players; it will certainly work for youth sports.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best --- Luckiest Coach
In 1939 Lou Gehrig, the legendary New York Yankee, made his famous speech at Yankee Stadium where he proclaimed, "Yet today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth." Well, today I feel like the luckiest coach on the face of this earth!
On Sunday, nineteen Reading High School Baseball Alumni got
together to play an alumni game at Morton Field (at Pete Moscariello Ballpark).
The 10-inning game in 90 degree heat was very well played, with impressive hitting - shots to all parts of the ballpark and even a couple over the left field fence! The defense was just as good, thanks to all the young arms and legs on the field. Bottom line - these guys can still play!
Even better than the play on the field was the camaraderie between guys who played in the '70's, 80's, 90's, 00's, and 10's, all who share a common bond and experience called Reading Baseball.
What a thrill it was for this old coach to be on that beautiful field, once again, with the players whom I was privileged to coach at RMHS. And I consider myself most blessed that my former players still choose to include me in their lives.
So thanks, guys, you made me proud then; you make me even more proud now!
Here is the lineup: L to R Front Row: Tom Zaya '87, Eric Sample '04, Chris Dolan '03, Dan Marshall '03, Anthony DeSimone '12, Second Row: Jason Zerfas '99, Tim Melanson '05, then a gap ... next in white shirt is Derek Galante '13, Zack Driscoll '12, Mac Cook '12, Kevin Donahue '02, Chris Foley '94, Back Row: Ken Hollingsworth '75, Jon Vedder '83, Jason LaVita '91, Drew Zaccardi '12, Josh Driscoll '95. At game but not in photo, Scott Farris '85. Taking photo - Coach Mosc '71.
More details about the game will be posted by the end of the week at www.readingbaseballalumniclub.com
In 1939 Lou Gehrig, the legendary New York Yankee, made his famous speech at Yankee Stadium where he proclaimed, "Yet today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth." Well, today I feel like the luckiest coach on the face of this earth!
On Sunday, nineteen Reading High School Baseball Alumni got
together to play an alumni game at Morton Field (at Pete Moscariello Ballpark).
The 10-inning game in 90 degree heat was very well played, with impressive hitting - shots to all parts of the ballpark and even a couple over the left field fence! The defense was just as good, thanks to all the young arms and legs on the field. Bottom line - these guys can still play!
Even better than the play on the field was the camaraderie between guys who played in the '70's, 80's, 90's, 00's, and 10's, all who share a common bond and experience called Reading Baseball.
What a thrill it was for this old coach to be on that beautiful field, once again, with the players whom I was privileged to coach at RMHS. And I consider myself most blessed that my former players still choose to include me in their lives.
So thanks, guys, you made me proud then; you make me even more proud now!
Here is the lineup: L to R Front Row: Tom Zaya '87, Eric Sample '04, Chris Dolan '03, Dan Marshall '03, Anthony DeSimone '12, Second Row: Jason Zerfas '99, Tim Melanson '05, then a gap ... next in white shirt is Derek Galante '13, Zack Driscoll '12, Mac Cook '12, Kevin Donahue '02, Chris Foley '94, Back Row: Ken Hollingsworth '75, Jon Vedder '83, Jason LaVita '91, Drew Zaccardi '12, Josh Driscoll '95. At game but not in photo, Scott Farris '85. Taking photo - Coach Mosc '71.
More details about the game will be posted by the end of the week at www.readingbaseballalumniclub.com
Mid-Week Motivator by Personal Best -- Gil Congdon
On Sunday, I played a little baseball with Gil Congdon (we have already written a MMM about playing catch, so you know how meaningful that is!). Many of you know Mr. Congdon from RMHS - maybe he was your math teacher, or like me, he was your JV basketball coach and Varsity baseball coach there. We all have a teacher or coach who was influential in our lives. Gil (as well as Dick Gillis and John Hollingsworth) were the teacher/coaches who impacted me when I was young and continue to do so today!
So let me tell you a bit about Gil. He came to RMHS in 1968 and immediately took on the previously mentioned teacher and coach roles. In 1976, he hired me to be the RMHS Baseball Freshman Coach, so he gave me my start in HS baseball.
Gil and his wife, Pam, left Reading after the 1976 school year and went to Bethlehem, NH to the brand new Profile HS, where he was again a math teacher, baseball and basketball coach, maybe Athletic Director, and also small farm owner. He returned to Reading in the early 80's to become RMHS Athletic Director where he did a superb job running an outstanding athletic program and mentoring us young coaches while still impacting kids in the classroom via teaching a couple math classes.
Eventually, Gil (he and Pam now had children Peter, Brad, and Brooke) went to Manchester-by-the-Sea to teach math at that high school. Gil was named Teacher of the Year there, had the yearbook dedicated to him, and was asked to sing at the school's graduation ceremony multiple times. He was truly a beloved teacher even during the latter part of his public school career!
Upon retirement from high school teaching, Gil became an Adjunct Professor and Student Advisor at Bentley College (now University). He taught calculus and was loved by his students and he thoroughly enjoyed his Advisor role where he got to help and impact his students directly. Gil was honored at Bentley as Adjunct Professor of the Year, Advisor of the Year, and received the Martin Luther King Jr. Award for service to his school. Wow - still learning and growing and finding a way to make a difference in lives.
This fall is the first year, in close to 50 years, that Gil is not teaching, having retired from Bentley. A diagnosis, in the last year or so, of Parkinson's Disease led to Gil's decision to give up teaching. Yet, this will not keep Gil down. He continues his positive attitude, his sense of humor, to stay physically fit, to play bridge, to throw the baseball around, and stay busy as a most active husband, father, and grandfather, And he continues his love of travel (for many years, Gil hosted trips where he would take students to locations around the world); he has been just about everywhere and recently did a trip on the Danube River and is about to got to Aruba on Sunday.
I thank Gil because he has supported me in everything I have done - he supported me when I was his player, when we were math teaching colleagues, when I was his Freshman Coach is his last Varsity season at RMHS, when he was my Athletic Director, throughout my entire coaching career, and in all our Reading Baseball Alumni events. We have traveled a bit together, shared many meals together, played ball together, and had lots of laughs (you all remember Gil as a fabulous story teller with a great sense of humor). And Gil was there for my family when my dad died and when my father-in-law passed.
Amazing. Gil taught me that a HS coach could be demanding and have tough standards, yet can build positive relationships with his players. That is the most important thing that I tried to apply in my coaching career. I will always be grateful to Gil for that (and to Mr. Gillis and Mr. Hollingsworth for the same reasons), and I will always be grateful to Gil for nearly 50 years of guidance, mentoring, support, and friendship.
Now is a time that Gil needs my support, and he's got it for as long as he needs it. For those of you who know him, please Like or Comment a message of your support and how he impacted you. Thanks.
On Sunday, I played a little baseball with Gil Congdon (we have already written a MMM about playing catch, so you know how meaningful that is!). Many of you know Mr. Congdon from RMHS - maybe he was your math teacher, or like me, he was your JV basketball coach and Varsity baseball coach there. We all have a teacher or coach who was influential in our lives. Gil (as well as Dick Gillis and John Hollingsworth) were the teacher/coaches who impacted me when I was young and continue to do so today!
So let me tell you a bit about Gil. He came to RMHS in 1968 and immediately took on the previously mentioned teacher and coach roles. In 1976, he hired me to be the RMHS Baseball Freshman Coach, so he gave me my start in HS baseball.
Gil and his wife, Pam, left Reading after the 1976 school year and went to Bethlehem, NH to the brand new Profile HS, where he was again a math teacher, baseball and basketball coach, maybe Athletic Director, and also small farm owner. He returned to Reading in the early 80's to become RMHS Athletic Director where he did a superb job running an outstanding athletic program and mentoring us young coaches while still impacting kids in the classroom via teaching a couple math classes.
Eventually, Gil (he and Pam now had children Peter, Brad, and Brooke) went to Manchester-by-the-Sea to teach math at that high school. Gil was named Teacher of the Year there, had the yearbook dedicated to him, and was asked to sing at the school's graduation ceremony multiple times. He was truly a beloved teacher even during the latter part of his public school career!
Upon retirement from high school teaching, Gil became an Adjunct Professor and Student Advisor at Bentley College (now University). He taught calculus and was loved by his students and he thoroughly enjoyed his Advisor role where he got to help and impact his students directly. Gil was honored at Bentley as Adjunct Professor of the Year, Advisor of the Year, and received the Martin Luther King Jr. Award for service to his school. Wow - still learning and growing and finding a way to make a difference in lives.
This fall is the first year, in close to 50 years, that Gil is not teaching, having retired from Bentley. A diagnosis, in the last year or so, of Parkinson's Disease led to Gil's decision to give up teaching. Yet, this will not keep Gil down. He continues his positive attitude, his sense of humor, to stay physically fit, to play bridge, to throw the baseball around, and stay busy as a most active husband, father, and grandfather, And he continues his love of travel (for many years, Gil hosted trips where he would take students to locations around the world); he has been just about everywhere and recently did a trip on the Danube River and is about to got to Aruba on Sunday.
I thank Gil because he has supported me in everything I have done - he supported me when I was his player, when we were math teaching colleagues, when I was his Freshman Coach is his last Varsity season at RMHS, when he was my Athletic Director, throughout my entire coaching career, and in all our Reading Baseball Alumni events. We have traveled a bit together, shared many meals together, played ball together, and had lots of laughs (you all remember Gil as a fabulous story teller with a great sense of humor). And Gil was there for my family when my dad died and when my father-in-law passed.
Amazing. Gil taught me that a HS coach could be demanding and have tough standards, yet can build positive relationships with his players. That is the most important thing that I tried to apply in my coaching career. I will always be grateful to Gil for that (and to Mr. Gillis and Mr. Hollingsworth for the same reasons), and I will always be grateful to Gil for nearly 50 years of guidance, mentoring, support, and friendship.
Now is a time that Gil needs my support, and he's got it for as long as he needs it. For those of you who know him, please Like or Comment a message of your support and how he impacted you. Thanks.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best: K + G = S
Recently, I was driving to Baltimore with my sons and somewhere on the New Jersey Turnpike I saw a billboard that said, “ACT KINDLY TOWARDS WOMEN”
My initial thought was, “Wow, is our society in such bad moral condition that we need a billboard to remind us what should be natural and right? I did some research and found that this was originally a Muslim statement made centuries ago. Now, please, this MMM is not a political or religious commentary (I will always avoid those subjects!); the billboard just prompted me to make some comments below.
When I taught at RMHS, on the last day of classes, I gave students a list of Ten Keys to a Happy Life. One item was about how young men should treat women (their girlfriends, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, friends, and eventually, wives). My message was contained in this final “equation” for the year:
KINDNESS + GENTLENESS = STRENGTH
In an era when society seems to promote and value machismo and tough, in-your-face behavior as a display of strength, I see it differently. I believe true male strength is demonstrated by self-control, patience, understanding, and respect. I saw it in my father and in my father-in-law; I see it now in my brothers, in my brothers-in-law, very much in the men I coached alongside, and in the friends I choose. Now all of these guys are rugged and assertive men’s men for sure, but they know how to treat women with total respect and appreciation.
So, to you young guys out there: it is important to be confident (all the time!) and it is necessary to be aggressive and competitive in athletics and in business, but when it comes to women, your Strength will be shown through your Kindness + Gentleness.
Recently, I was driving to Baltimore with my sons and somewhere on the New Jersey Turnpike I saw a billboard that said, “ACT KINDLY TOWARDS WOMEN”
My initial thought was, “Wow, is our society in such bad moral condition that we need a billboard to remind us what should be natural and right? I did some research and found that this was originally a Muslim statement made centuries ago. Now, please, this MMM is not a political or religious commentary (I will always avoid those subjects!); the billboard just prompted me to make some comments below.
When I taught at RMHS, on the last day of classes, I gave students a list of Ten Keys to a Happy Life. One item was about how young men should treat women (their girlfriends, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, friends, and eventually, wives). My message was contained in this final “equation” for the year:
KINDNESS + GENTLENESS = STRENGTH
In an era when society seems to promote and value machismo and tough, in-your-face behavior as a display of strength, I see it differently. I believe true male strength is demonstrated by self-control, patience, understanding, and respect. I saw it in my father and in my father-in-law; I see it now in my brothers, in my brothers-in-law, very much in the men I coached alongside, and in the friends I choose. Now all of these guys are rugged and assertive men’s men for sure, but they know how to treat women with total respect and appreciation.
So, to you young guys out there: it is important to be confident (all the time!) and it is necessary to be aggressive and competitive in athletics and in business, but when it comes to women, your Strength will be shown through your Kindness + Gentleness.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Run out every ground ball
I was at a Cape Cod Baseball League game on Sunday to see my former player, Scott Tully, who is a lefty pitcher for the Harwich Mariners.
As I watched the players, all collegiate kids, I enjoyed seeing something that we don't always see in professional baseball- players running out every ground ball.
In other words, even when they hit a routine ground ball that is 95% certain to be an out, they still run as hard as they can from home to first. On the other hand, we have all seen MLB players who don't run hard at all for those 90 feet.
I think there is something to be learned from these young players who always "run it out." Doing so demonstrates effort and pride - the effort it takes to sprint for 90 feet despite knowing the result will not be favorable and the pride in playing the game the right way. These players choose to do the right thing, not the easy thing.
So I wondered about what I do. Do I "run out every ground ball" at work, that is, do I give my best effort in each class I teach or do I coast at times? Do I give my best effort, every day, as a husband, a father, a son, a friend?
I try to, just as I know each of you does the same. But I think "try" is not enough. I think that I (maybe we?) need to really commit to that effort, as difficult as that may be. Maybe we can adopt the mindset of Joe DiMaggio, who was known for giving his best effort, every day, for 154 games despite certainly being tired, injured and, eventually, old. Someone asked Joe why he always gave that best effort. He said, "Because someone might be watching me play for the first time today."
How about you and me, for the next seven days, commit to being like the Cape Cod League players and Joe D. and run out every ground ball.
I was at a Cape Cod Baseball League game on Sunday to see my former player, Scott Tully, who is a lefty pitcher for the Harwich Mariners.
As I watched the players, all collegiate kids, I enjoyed seeing something that we don't always see in professional baseball- players running out every ground ball.
In other words, even when they hit a routine ground ball that is 95% certain to be an out, they still run as hard as they can from home to first. On the other hand, we have all seen MLB players who don't run hard at all for those 90 feet.
I think there is something to be learned from these young players who always "run it out." Doing so demonstrates effort and pride - the effort it takes to sprint for 90 feet despite knowing the result will not be favorable and the pride in playing the game the right way. These players choose to do the right thing, not the easy thing.
So I wondered about what I do. Do I "run out every ground ball" at work, that is, do I give my best effort in each class I teach or do I coast at times? Do I give my best effort, every day, as a husband, a father, a son, a friend?
I try to, just as I know each of you does the same. But I think "try" is not enough. I think that I (maybe we?) need to really commit to that effort, as difficult as that may be. Maybe we can adopt the mindset of Joe DiMaggio, who was known for giving his best effort, every day, for 154 games despite certainly being tired, injured and, eventually, old. Someone asked Joe why he always gave that best effort. He said, "Because someone might be watching me play for the first time today."
How about you and me, for the next seven days, commit to being like the Cape Cod League players and Joe D. and run out every ground ball.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- "We all live in this world together"
A few years ago, my son was given a job at Petsmart and we expressed our gratitude to the store manager for hiring a young man with Autism. He responded, "We all have to live in this world together". In other words, we all have to get along, accept each other, and help each other.
I saw a great example of this when I took my son to an Anime Convention in Hartford over the weekend. As you can see in the photo, people dress up in amazing costumes depicting anime characters, superheroes, and other sci-fi characters.
Well, when I first took my sons to these conventions when they were much younger, I had to walk around the convention center with them. I remember seeing the people in outlandish costumes and thinking, "what weirdos" (I'll bet some of you had the same reaction when you looked at the photo). Well, first of all, in that environment, I was the weirdo; I was the different-looking guy dressed in a Reading Baseball t-shirt and shorts. And second, these "cosplayers", as they call themselves, were not strange or creepy; they were simply people expressing themselves, sharing their interests, and having harmless fun. In fact, cosplayers were no weirder than baseball players who put on our "costumes" to play a game! And most importantly, what I have learned about these people is they accept everyone, they respect everyone, and they include everyone. Cosplayers come in different shapes, sizes, and ages, for sure, and all I have observed is their friendliness and support; never have I observed an argument or display of anger among them.
So this was eye-opening for me. My pre-judgment about these people being strange or not "normal"was dead wrong. And it made me think- am I totally open-minded about people's race, gender, sexual orientation,religion, disabilities, ethnicity, career choices, financial status, age, body type, and attire? Do I laugh at a joke or comment about someone who appears "different"? Maybe I need to step back and make sure I truly recognize all people as deserving respect, understanding, and inclusion. Maybe we all need to take a moment to remind ourselves that "we all live in this world together."
A few years ago, my son was given a job at Petsmart and we expressed our gratitude to the store manager for hiring a young man with Autism. He responded, "We all have to live in this world together". In other words, we all have to get along, accept each other, and help each other.
I saw a great example of this when I took my son to an Anime Convention in Hartford over the weekend. As you can see in the photo, people dress up in amazing costumes depicting anime characters, superheroes, and other sci-fi characters.
Well, when I first took my sons to these conventions when they were much younger, I had to walk around the convention center with them. I remember seeing the people in outlandish costumes and thinking, "what weirdos" (I'll bet some of you had the same reaction when you looked at the photo). Well, first of all, in that environment, I was the weirdo; I was the different-looking guy dressed in a Reading Baseball t-shirt and shorts. And second, these "cosplayers", as they call themselves, were not strange or creepy; they were simply people expressing themselves, sharing their interests, and having harmless fun. In fact, cosplayers were no weirder than baseball players who put on our "costumes" to play a game! And most importantly, what I have learned about these people is they accept everyone, they respect everyone, and they include everyone. Cosplayers come in different shapes, sizes, and ages, for sure, and all I have observed is their friendliness and support; never have I observed an argument or display of anger among them.
So this was eye-opening for me. My pre-judgment about these people being strange or not "normal"was dead wrong. And it made me think- am I totally open-minded about people's race, gender, sexual orientation,religion, disabilities, ethnicity, career choices, financial status, age, body type, and attire? Do I laugh at a joke or comment about someone who appears "different"? Maybe I need to step back and make sure I truly recognize all people as deserving respect, understanding, and inclusion. Maybe we all need to take a moment to remind ourselves that "we all live in this world together."
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- From Sea to Shining Sea
Okay, we just had our nation's birthday, so let's have a 4th of July MMM. Specifically, we ask our MMM readers to make Comments about your favorite places in the USA that you have visited or lived (and why). Hopefully we will get a nice variety of great American venues and stories to remind us how fortunate we are to live in the USA.
Maybe your favorite is one of our country's breathtaking National Parks or maybe it is our nation's capital and its awe-inspiring history. Perhaps it is Nashville with its country music or the wine country of Napa Valley. Or maybe it is the tranquility and pride you feel in your own back yard.
My favorite place to visit is Cooperstown, NY (I know, big surprise). Certainly, Cooperstown is special to me because of the National Baseball Hall of Fame and for the dozens of times our Reading HS Baseball Team or Alumni Club has played on historic Doubleday Field.
But I like Cooperstown most because it represents a simple, peaceful place with a less-stressed, slower pace. It is Throwback America with a Main Street that looks much like it may have looked in the 40's and 50's. This story illustrates why I like it there. During one of our team's many visits to Cooperstown, we came across Cooperstown HS students all dressed up in suits and gowns for their senior prom. They were proudly having their Senior Prom dinner - not at an exclusive hotel or a private mansion, but at the local Pizza Hut. No limos, no expensive haircuts, no glitz and glitter. Just simple, happy, and grateful - that is Cooperstown to me!
Okay, let's hear your special places in the USA!
Okay, we just had our nation's birthday, so let's have a 4th of July MMM. Specifically, we ask our MMM readers to make Comments about your favorite places in the USA that you have visited or lived (and why). Hopefully we will get a nice variety of great American venues and stories to remind us how fortunate we are to live in the USA.
Maybe your favorite is one of our country's breathtaking National Parks or maybe it is our nation's capital and its awe-inspiring history. Perhaps it is Nashville with its country music or the wine country of Napa Valley. Or maybe it is the tranquility and pride you feel in your own back yard.
My favorite place to visit is Cooperstown, NY (I know, big surprise). Certainly, Cooperstown is special to me because of the National Baseball Hall of Fame and for the dozens of times our Reading HS Baseball Team or Alumni Club has played on historic Doubleday Field.
But I like Cooperstown most because it represents a simple, peaceful place with a less-stressed, slower pace. It is Throwback America with a Main Street that looks much like it may have looked in the 40's and 50's. This story illustrates why I like it there. During one of our team's many visits to Cooperstown, we came across Cooperstown HS students all dressed up in suits and gowns for their senior prom. They were proudly having their Senior Prom dinner - not at an exclusive hotel or a private mansion, but at the local Pizza Hut. No limos, no expensive haircuts, no glitz and glitter. Just simple, happy, and grateful - that is Cooperstown to me!
Okay, let's hear your special places in the USA!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Be a SHIP Builder
Thus MMM comes from my coaching experience, so it might be helpful to those of you who coach (or teach, parent, or supervise!)
It is about building SHIPS. I have learned that in order to win championSHIPS, a coach must first build relationSHIPS. All my championship teams were different – different strengths and weaknesses, different player skills and personalities. But what was common and central to all those teams were the strong, positive relationships that were created and nurtured long before the championships were won. These were player-coach, player-player, and coach-coach relationships.
Championships will only happen when individuals commit to working together for the good of the team or group. What makes those team members work together, make sacrifices, accept and perform their specific roles, and bring out the best in themselves and each other? Relationships. When team members care about each other and know their coaches or supervisors care about them, that's when the magic happens!
I know I am proud of the championships my teams have won. But you know what - the trophies and plaques have long since been stashed away in my attic. What endures, what is alive every day, and what I am proud of most, is the relationships that were built back then and still thrive today.
So if you are a young coach, parent, teacher, supervisor, or business-owner, I know what worked for me will work for you: be a SHIP builder - build relationSHIPS and championSHIPS are sure to follow.
Thus MMM comes from my coaching experience, so it might be helpful to those of you who coach (or teach, parent, or supervise!)
It is about building SHIPS. I have learned that in order to win championSHIPS, a coach must first build relationSHIPS. All my championship teams were different – different strengths and weaknesses, different player skills and personalities. But what was common and central to all those teams were the strong, positive relationships that were created and nurtured long before the championships were won. These were player-coach, player-player, and coach-coach relationships.
Championships will only happen when individuals commit to working together for the good of the team or group. What makes those team members work together, make sacrifices, accept and perform their specific roles, and bring out the best in themselves and each other? Relationships. When team members care about each other and know their coaches or supervisors care about them, that's when the magic happens!
I know I am proud of the championships my teams have won. But you know what - the trophies and plaques have long since been stashed away in my attic. What endures, what is alive every day, and what I am proud of most, is the relationships that were built back then and still thrive today.
So if you are a young coach, parent, teacher, supervisor, or business-owner, I know what worked for me will work for you: be a SHIP builder - build relationSHIPS and championSHIPS are sure to follow.
Monday Morning Motivator
Simple this week. Happy Father's Day to all you dads. And to everyone who misses their dads.
Simple this week. Happy Father's Day to all you dads. And to everyone who misses their dads.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best TODAY CARDS
Personal Best Co-Owner, Scott Farris, created the TODAY CARD (shown in photo) that we distribute to folks attending our Personal Best classes.
In the card, Scott beautifully captured the essence of a having a positive mindset and present moment focus that can inspire you to have a GREAT DAY.
Reading the TODAY CARD each morning (we recommend you read it aloud) will help you start your day with a positive attitude, optimistic outlook, and greater energy. The card serves as a reminder that you will conquer all obstacles in your path, that you will do your best, and that you will, ultimately make TODAY YOUR BEST DAY.
Personal Best has presented to faculty at both Reading High School and Lowell Catholic High School and it is great to see that teachers have their TODAY CARDS posted in their classrooms as a constant reminder to teachers and students. We have also been told that some people have the cards on their fridge at home or posted in their offices. Awesome!
Remember, all we have is TODAY. And, as we used to tell our student-athletes:
TODAY + TODAY + TODAY + . . . = YOUR SEASON, YOUR CAREER, YOUR LIFE!
Personal Best Co-Owner, Scott Farris, created the TODAY CARD (shown in photo) that we distribute to folks attending our Personal Best classes.
In the card, Scott beautifully captured the essence of a having a positive mindset and present moment focus that can inspire you to have a GREAT DAY.
Reading the TODAY CARD each morning (we recommend you read it aloud) will help you start your day with a positive attitude, optimistic outlook, and greater energy. The card serves as a reminder that you will conquer all obstacles in your path, that you will do your best, and that you will, ultimately make TODAY YOUR BEST DAY.
Personal Best has presented to faculty at both Reading High School and Lowell Catholic High School and it is great to see that teachers have their TODAY CARDS posted in their classrooms as a constant reminder to teachers and students. We have also been told that some people have the cards on their fridge at home or posted in their offices. Awesome!
Remember, all we have is TODAY. And, as we used to tell our student-athletes:
TODAY + TODAY + TODAY + . . . = YOUR SEASON, YOUR CAREER, YOUR LIFE!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Playing Catch
I saw this baseball glove at an antique store in Laconia, NH and it I bought it because it looks just like the glove my Dad owned many, many years ago. I remember that glove vividly from the times my Dad and I played catch when I was a little boy. So I guess I bought it to connect with my father and to rekindle the wonderful childhood memories of “Playing Catch.”
I have great memories of Playing Catch. When I was nine years old and asked Dad if he would play catch with me, the answer was always “Yes.” I was oblivious to whether he was tired or busy because he always put aside what he was doing to play catch in the back yard. I know now that it was less about baseball and more about bonding, communicating and love.
Playing Catch was always a big part of my (baseball) life for 50 years. In addition to playing catch with Dad, my friends, my brothers, and HS teammates, I remember my first college baseball practice. I did not know anyone on the team but had to ask someone to play catch with me. And the next day when we needed to warm up again, that same guy and I sought each other out to play catch. A friendship was forged that continues to this day!
Late in my coaching career, I was fortunate enough to be chosen to be an Assistant Coach at a Mass. vs. Connecticut high school all-star game at Fenway Park. I appreciated the honor but, honestly, did not care much about the game. All I wanted to do was to play catch in Fenway’s outfield. So I brought my glove and found a young assistant coach (Matt Foley) who brought his glove, too. So while the players were getting ready to compete, Matt and I played catch in the same outfield where Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski, and Jim Rice, all had Hall of Fame careers. Recently, Personal Best worked with the high school team that Matt coaches. As he was introducing us to his players, he told the story about us Playing Catch at Fenway ten years ago. Clearly, Playing Catch means a lot to Matt, too.
When we play our annual Alumni Games on historic Doubleday Field in Cooperstown, I always look forward to the pre-game catch. Often it is with one of my former players whom I have not seen in a while. So we “catch up” on our lives while Playing Catch.
What is the big deal about Playing Catch? Well, for many of us, Playing Catch is far more than a baseball/softball activity. For us guys, especially, it is a way to communicate without speaking. It is you and me, back and forth, give and take. It allows us to bond and to share non-verbally (no wonder us guys like it!).
Playing Catch is part of our culture; certainly it was highlighted in the movie Field of Dreams and I remember reading a book of essays by Donald Hall called “Fathers Playing Catch with Sons.” For many of us, Playing Catch has been part of our growing, learning, and relationship-building.
So what is the message for this MMM? I guess it is when you have the opportunity to play catch, then Play Catch! You may build some memories that last a lifetime.
I saw this baseball glove at an antique store in Laconia, NH and it I bought it because it looks just like the glove my Dad owned many, many years ago. I remember that glove vividly from the times my Dad and I played catch when I was a little boy. So I guess I bought it to connect with my father and to rekindle the wonderful childhood memories of “Playing Catch.”
I have great memories of Playing Catch. When I was nine years old and asked Dad if he would play catch with me, the answer was always “Yes.” I was oblivious to whether he was tired or busy because he always put aside what he was doing to play catch in the back yard. I know now that it was less about baseball and more about bonding, communicating and love.
Playing Catch was always a big part of my (baseball) life for 50 years. In addition to playing catch with Dad, my friends, my brothers, and HS teammates, I remember my first college baseball practice. I did not know anyone on the team but had to ask someone to play catch with me. And the next day when we needed to warm up again, that same guy and I sought each other out to play catch. A friendship was forged that continues to this day!
Late in my coaching career, I was fortunate enough to be chosen to be an Assistant Coach at a Mass. vs. Connecticut high school all-star game at Fenway Park. I appreciated the honor but, honestly, did not care much about the game. All I wanted to do was to play catch in Fenway’s outfield. So I brought my glove and found a young assistant coach (Matt Foley) who brought his glove, too. So while the players were getting ready to compete, Matt and I played catch in the same outfield where Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski, and Jim Rice, all had Hall of Fame careers. Recently, Personal Best worked with the high school team that Matt coaches. As he was introducing us to his players, he told the story about us Playing Catch at Fenway ten years ago. Clearly, Playing Catch means a lot to Matt, too.
When we play our annual Alumni Games on historic Doubleday Field in Cooperstown, I always look forward to the pre-game catch. Often it is with one of my former players whom I have not seen in a while. So we “catch up” on our lives while Playing Catch.
What is the big deal about Playing Catch? Well, for many of us, Playing Catch is far more than a baseball/softball activity. For us guys, especially, it is a way to communicate without speaking. It is you and me, back and forth, give and take. It allows us to bond and to share non-verbally (no wonder us guys like it!).
Playing Catch is part of our culture; certainly it was highlighted in the movie Field of Dreams and I remember reading a book of essays by Donald Hall called “Fathers Playing Catch with Sons.” For many of us, Playing Catch has been part of our growing, learning, and relationship-building.
So what is the message for this MMM? I guess it is when you have the opportunity to play catch, then Play Catch! You may build some memories that last a lifetime.
Monday Morning (okay, afternoon) Motivator by Personal Best -- Mark Angelo
This is for everybody, but READING BASEBALL ALUMNI PLAYERS MUST READ THIS TO THE END. Thanks.
I am glad that the MMM's help and inspire so many of you. Now if you ask what inspires me, I would say my friend, Mark Angelo.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of a visit from Mark and his son, Mark Jr. who were up here, with the entire family, from Orlando for the weekend. Mark played for my very first teams, in 1977 and 1978 and is one of Reading High School's all-time greatest players. He was a Boston Globe All-Scholastic and then an All-American at Florida Southern (where he led his team to a DII national championship); he led the Cape Cod Baseball League in home runs two consecutive years and then played pro baseball in the St. Louis Cardinals organization. He is in the RMHS, Florida Southern, and Cape Cod League Halls of Fame.
Mark is also a highly successful entrepreneur and businessman in Orlando, where he has owned and operated several upscale restaurants and had other successful ventures. He has earned the reputation as a brilliant businessman in central Florida.
All in all, quite an impressive resume!
Well, that nothing compared to the resume of Mark the Man! If there was a Hall of Fame for integrity, generosity, family dedication, and courage, Mark would be a charter member. He is passionately devoted to his beautiful family - wife Lisa, daughter Brianna, and son Mark and it is wonderful to witness the love he has for them (I certainly got to see that during yesterday's visit). He has earned his success in athletics, business, and personal life not by using others, but by helping others; not by being greedy or selfish, but by being generous and unselfish; not by calling attention to himself, but by being humble and grateful and giving others all the credit.
Mark is, however, facing a very significant health issue. He is facing this with great courage and positivity and is seeking the best possible treatment around the world. His courage is inspiring and even more amazing is that he puts his wife's and children's needs first and foremost, ahead of his own.
If you know Mark, I know you feel the same way about him as I do. To Reading Baseball Alumni who may not know him, I say you do know him. He is one of us; he has had the same experiences as you; he is a part of the Reading Baseball Family, just like you. So I ask you to reach out to Mark, introduce yourselves, and
assure him that your thoughts and prayers are with him as he continues this fight.
Thank you.
This is for everybody, but READING BASEBALL ALUMNI PLAYERS MUST READ THIS TO THE END. Thanks.
I am glad that the MMM's help and inspire so many of you. Now if you ask what inspires me, I would say my friend, Mark Angelo.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of a visit from Mark and his son, Mark Jr. who were up here, with the entire family, from Orlando for the weekend. Mark played for my very first teams, in 1977 and 1978 and is one of Reading High School's all-time greatest players. He was a Boston Globe All-Scholastic and then an All-American at Florida Southern (where he led his team to a DII national championship); he led the Cape Cod Baseball League in home runs two consecutive years and then played pro baseball in the St. Louis Cardinals organization. He is in the RMHS, Florida Southern, and Cape Cod League Halls of Fame.
Mark is also a highly successful entrepreneur and businessman in Orlando, where he has owned and operated several upscale restaurants and had other successful ventures. He has earned the reputation as a brilliant businessman in central Florida.
All in all, quite an impressive resume!
Well, that nothing compared to the resume of Mark the Man! If there was a Hall of Fame for integrity, generosity, family dedication, and courage, Mark would be a charter member. He is passionately devoted to his beautiful family - wife Lisa, daughter Brianna, and son Mark and it is wonderful to witness the love he has for them (I certainly got to see that during yesterday's visit). He has earned his success in athletics, business, and personal life not by using others, but by helping others; not by being greedy or selfish, but by being generous and unselfish; not by calling attention to himself, but by being humble and grateful and giving others all the credit.
Mark is, however, facing a very significant health issue. He is facing this with great courage and positivity and is seeking the best possible treatment around the world. His courage is inspiring and even more amazing is that he puts his wife's and children's needs first and foremost, ahead of his own.
If you know Mark, I know you feel the same way about him as I do. To Reading Baseball Alumni who may not know him, I say you do know him. He is one of us; he has had the same experiences as you; he is a part of the Reading Baseball Family, just like you. So I ask you to reach out to Mark, introduce yourselves, and
assure him that your thoughts and prayers are with him as he continues this fight.
Thank you.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best – Mt. Rushmore
Last week I asked my students if they could name the four U.S. Presidents whose sculptures appear on Mt. Rushmore (they got all four, after some hints!). I asked them why those particular Presidents were chosen and students surmised that it was because each of those men made a significant impact on the history of our nation.
Then I asked them who has made a significant impact on their lives, that is, who would be on their personal Mt. Rushmore? The point of this exercise was for students to think about those people who have been responsible for helping them achieve whatever they have achieved so far in their young lives – academically, athletically, in music, drama, dance, and personally. Students gave the question some good thought and listed the four people on their personal Mt. Rushmore. I asked them why they chose whom they chose, and we had a nice discussion about nothing we achieve in life is done alone; our best accomplishments happen because somebody helped us, supported us, guided us, taught us, or inspired us.
Then I asked them, “On whose personal Mt. Rushmore would you appear?” A more interesting question, for sure. I ensured students that they are most definitely on somebody’s Mt. Rushmore and, in fact, EACH PERSON IN THIS ROOM IN THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO SOMEBODY – maybe to your parent, your brother, your grandparent, etc. When we think about that, we can see that is pretty awesome! And as well as it being an awesome feeling, it is an awesome responsibility, too.
I asked students, “What is your responsibility to that person to whom you are most important; that person who loves you, admires you, depends on you, is inspired by you, supports you? I think the answer is simple – our obligation to that person(s) is to live our lives with integrity and humility, with compassion and kindness, with courage and conviction. When we think about that person to whom we are so important, we will be motivated to be the best persons we can be, every day . . . even if we never get to be President!
Last week I asked my students if they could name the four U.S. Presidents whose sculptures appear on Mt. Rushmore (they got all four, after some hints!). I asked them why those particular Presidents were chosen and students surmised that it was because each of those men made a significant impact on the history of our nation.
Then I asked them who has made a significant impact on their lives, that is, who would be on their personal Mt. Rushmore? The point of this exercise was for students to think about those people who have been responsible for helping them achieve whatever they have achieved so far in their young lives – academically, athletically, in music, drama, dance, and personally. Students gave the question some good thought and listed the four people on their personal Mt. Rushmore. I asked them why they chose whom they chose, and we had a nice discussion about nothing we achieve in life is done alone; our best accomplishments happen because somebody helped us, supported us, guided us, taught us, or inspired us.
Then I asked them, “On whose personal Mt. Rushmore would you appear?” A more interesting question, for sure. I ensured students that they are most definitely on somebody’s Mt. Rushmore and, in fact, EACH PERSON IN THIS ROOM IN THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO SOMEBODY – maybe to your parent, your brother, your grandparent, etc. When we think about that, we can see that is pretty awesome! And as well as it being an awesome feeling, it is an awesome responsibility, too.
I asked students, “What is your responsibility to that person to whom you are most important; that person who loves you, admires you, depends on you, is inspired by you, supports you? I think the answer is simple – our obligation to that person(s) is to live our lives with integrity and humility, with compassion and kindness, with courage and conviction. When we think about that person to whom we are so important, we will be motivated to be the best persons we can be, every day . . . even if we never get to be President!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best “All I did was show up.”
Our good friends, Brian and Meredith Gordon, invited us to attend the bris (brit milah) for their infant son, Evan, on Sunday. May had her niece’s bridal shower to attend at the same time, so I went to Brookline alone. I could write at length about Brian and what he means to my family and me, but that is a MMM for another day!
Anyway, I had never attended a bris and my only knowledge of this Jewish tradition was from a Seinfeld episode (where I get most of my knowledge of social situations!). So I did not know what to expect. Well, it was a wonderful ceremony, full of joy, hope, and love for Evan and his parents. The mohel not only performed the circumcision, but also gave prayers in Hebrew and blessings in English. She told us that her wish was that Evan grows into a person who does many good deeds; that he becomes a Mensch – a person of integrity and honor. And proud father, Brian, told me that in the Jewish faith it is considered a good deed for someone to attend a bris, and he thanked me. I said, “All I did was show up.”
And then I figured it out – some of the best deeds we do in life is simply to “show up”. Showing up supports the ones we love; showing up shows that we are willing to make the effort; showing up shows that we care.
So let’s show up for the bris, the christening, the school play, the soccer game, the birthday party, the graduation, the bridal shower, the wedding, the baby shower, the retirement party, the visit to the hospital, the wake, the funeral. And beyond these special events, any time we take the time to call, email, visit, or even think about those whom we love - we are, in fact, showing up.
To us, it may seem like all we did was “show up”, but for our dear friends and family, “showing up” means the world.
Our good friends, Brian and Meredith Gordon, invited us to attend the bris (brit milah) for their infant son, Evan, on Sunday. May had her niece’s bridal shower to attend at the same time, so I went to Brookline alone. I could write at length about Brian and what he means to my family and me, but that is a MMM for another day!
Anyway, I had never attended a bris and my only knowledge of this Jewish tradition was from a Seinfeld episode (where I get most of my knowledge of social situations!). So I did not know what to expect. Well, it was a wonderful ceremony, full of joy, hope, and love for Evan and his parents. The mohel not only performed the circumcision, but also gave prayers in Hebrew and blessings in English. She told us that her wish was that Evan grows into a person who does many good deeds; that he becomes a Mensch – a person of integrity and honor. And proud father, Brian, told me that in the Jewish faith it is considered a good deed for someone to attend a bris, and he thanked me. I said, “All I did was show up.”
And then I figured it out – some of the best deeds we do in life is simply to “show up”. Showing up supports the ones we love; showing up shows that we are willing to make the effort; showing up shows that we care.
So let’s show up for the bris, the christening, the school play, the soccer game, the birthday party, the graduation, the bridal shower, the wedding, the baby shower, the retirement party, the visit to the hospital, the wake, the funeral. And beyond these special events, any time we take the time to call, email, visit, or even think about those whom we love - we are, in fact, showing up.
To us, it may seem like all we did was “show up”, but for our dear friends and family, “showing up” means the world.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best “I am proud of you.”
I was driving around Sunday morning, thinking of what to write for this week’s MMM. Strangely enough, an iced coffee and donut from Dunkin’ did not bring me inspiration (but it did bring some empty calories!). Yet, as I continued to drive, I thought about one of my former players who has recently accomplished something significant and how I called him to utter five of my most favorite words : “I am proud of you.”
Now I bet you do the same thing; you speak these words frequently – to your children, to your friends, and to your colleagues . That is great; please continue to do so as those five words have an amazing ability to inspire the recipient to keep working and achieving.
Yet I bet that rarely do you utter those five words TO YOURSELF!
Think about how great people feel when they hear that someone is proud of them; I think you deserve that same feeling! So it is important that you take time and think about why you are proud of yourself. Maybe you are proud that you go to work every day and give your best effort to your company and customers; maybe you are proud that you are dedicated to your children and do everything you can to help them learn and grow; maybe you are proud of yourself because you worked hard to lose 10 pounds; maybe you are proud because you provided a shoulder for your friend in need to cry upon.
There are lots and lots of reasons why you should be proud of yourself. But we get caught up in our everyday busy lives and when we do have a free moment, we are more likely to tell others how proud we are than to tell ourselves. So how about you take two minutes right now to write down why you are proud of yourself. Put it in your phone or Ipad; and then read it aloud. “I am proud of myself because …….”
You work hard at being a great professional, an amazing parent, a caring son/daughter, a loyal friend, and at being the best person you can be. Those are all great reasons to exclaim, “I AM PROUD OF MYSELF!” When you do so, you will be motivated to 1) continue to do those things that make you proud and 2) find other ways to make yourself even prouder.
I was driving around Sunday morning, thinking of what to write for this week’s MMM. Strangely enough, an iced coffee and donut from Dunkin’ did not bring me inspiration (but it did bring some empty calories!). Yet, as I continued to drive, I thought about one of my former players who has recently accomplished something significant and how I called him to utter five of my most favorite words : “I am proud of you.”
Now I bet you do the same thing; you speak these words frequently – to your children, to your friends, and to your colleagues . That is great; please continue to do so as those five words have an amazing ability to inspire the recipient to keep working and achieving.
Yet I bet that rarely do you utter those five words TO YOURSELF!
Think about how great people feel when they hear that someone is proud of them; I think you deserve that same feeling! So it is important that you take time and think about why you are proud of yourself. Maybe you are proud that you go to work every day and give your best effort to your company and customers; maybe you are proud that you are dedicated to your children and do everything you can to help them learn and grow; maybe you are proud of yourself because you worked hard to lose 10 pounds; maybe you are proud because you provided a shoulder for your friend in need to cry upon.
There are lots and lots of reasons why you should be proud of yourself. But we get caught up in our everyday busy lives and when we do have a free moment, we are more likely to tell others how proud we are than to tell ourselves. So how about you take two minutes right now to write down why you are proud of yourself. Put it in your phone or Ipad; and then read it aloud. “I am proud of myself because …….”
You work hard at being a great professional, an amazing parent, a caring son/daughter, a loyal friend, and at being the best person you can be. Those are all great reasons to exclaim, “I AM PROUD OF MYSELF!” When you do so, you will be motivated to 1) continue to do those things that make you proud and 2) find other ways to make yourself even prouder.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best Don't Count the Days; Make the Days Count!
In baseball, we talk about a player “throwing away an at bat”. That is, he has an unproductive at bat because he is not in the present moment. Possibly it is a one-sided game and a player thinks his at bat does not matter or maybe he has something else on his mind and is not focused. At the end of the season some MLB players waste up to 100 times at bat!
This made me think about “throwing away days”. Each spring the senior class at Reading Memorial High School does a tradition called The Countdown. Students would “countdown” the final 30 days of their high school careers by displaying large posters, a new one each day, with the number 30, then 29, ... all the way to the last day of classes for seniors. Each poster would also contain a clever message about how that particular number connected to the senior class’ journey.
Now, I really enjoyed the countdown and understand this is a fun tradition related to a significant event (graduation) in these students’ young lives. Yet, I also thought,
“Rather than count the days, make the days count!”
We tell our kids that high school may be among the best times in their lives, so enjoy them while you have them! It made me think they we all tend to “count down the days” to a significant event.
When we were children, we may have counted down the days until Christmas or a birthday. When we were a little older, we would say, “I can’t wait until I have my driver’s license” or “I can’t wait until I have my own apartment.” We continue to do this, all the way to “I can’t wait until I retire, so I can do the things I want to do.” Again, those are all important life events, but let us make sure that we are not throwing away the days until the event, but find a way to enjoy each day, make each day productive, and live each day!
Happiness does not await us at the end of the “countdown”; happiness lies in the journey through each of the days (as long as we live each of those days to the fullest, in the present moment).
So how about we revise the title to this MMM: “It’s okay to count the days as long as we make each day count.”
In baseball, we talk about a player “throwing away an at bat”. That is, he has an unproductive at bat because he is not in the present moment. Possibly it is a one-sided game and a player thinks his at bat does not matter or maybe he has something else on his mind and is not focused. At the end of the season some MLB players waste up to 100 times at bat!
This made me think about “throwing away days”. Each spring the senior class at Reading Memorial High School does a tradition called The Countdown. Students would “countdown” the final 30 days of their high school careers by displaying large posters, a new one each day, with the number 30, then 29, ... all the way to the last day of classes for seniors. Each poster would also contain a clever message about how that particular number connected to the senior class’ journey.
Now, I really enjoyed the countdown and understand this is a fun tradition related to a significant event (graduation) in these students’ young lives. Yet, I also thought,
“Rather than count the days, make the days count!”
We tell our kids that high school may be among the best times in their lives, so enjoy them while you have them! It made me think they we all tend to “count down the days” to a significant event.
When we were children, we may have counted down the days until Christmas or a birthday. When we were a little older, we would say, “I can’t wait until I have my driver’s license” or “I can’t wait until I have my own apartment.” We continue to do this, all the way to “I can’t wait until I retire, so I can do the things I want to do.” Again, those are all important life events, but let us make sure that we are not throwing away the days until the event, but find a way to enjoy each day, make each day productive, and live each day!
Happiness does not await us at the end of the “countdown”; happiness lies in the journey through each of the days (as long as we live each of those days to the fullest, in the present moment).
So how about we revise the title to this MMM: “It’s okay to count the days as long as we make each day count.”
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Your Life Story
This past Friday, Al Weston invited me and two other great long-time friends to be his guests at the Red Sox game. The weather was unseasonably mild, the seats were great, I found a free parking space, and the Sox won in a walk-off! All good, for sure. Yet the only thing that really mattered to me was spending time with (from left to right in the photo) Al Weston, John Brenton, and Rick Burpee – friends of 50 years and Reading High School Baseball teammates (Middlesex League Champions 1971 !).
We talked about baseball; we talked about our families; we talked about our careers; and we talked about the changes that life brings when you are in your sixties. Just comfortable, comfortable conversations among guys who know each other so well.
It made me think of this quote about old friends: “You never have to worry about telling them your life story. They were there.”
I am so happy and blessed that these wonderful guys (and many others!) were “there” as part of my life story. They were there for me and each other when we were kids, when we were adolescents, when we were young adults, when we were mid-life adults, and now when we are AARP members! They have supported each other unconditionally through our lives’ highs and lows, our triumphs and tragedies. Our lives have taken us in different directions, yet our common bond brings us together at the most important moments of our lives. They never ask for anything, they never expect anything; they just continue their loyal support, care, and love for each other year after year. And, most of all, they make it known, usually without spoken word, that if there is anything one of us needs, all we have to do is ask and, once again, they will be “there”.
I know you have special friends who have been there for you, and you have been there for them for a long, long time. Maybe you still see them regularly or maybe you haven’t talked to them in years. Either way, call them today – they will be glad to hear from you and be involved in the next chapter of your life’s story.
This past Friday, Al Weston invited me and two other great long-time friends to be his guests at the Red Sox game. The weather was unseasonably mild, the seats were great, I found a free parking space, and the Sox won in a walk-off! All good, for sure. Yet the only thing that really mattered to me was spending time with (from left to right in the photo) Al Weston, John Brenton, and Rick Burpee – friends of 50 years and Reading High School Baseball teammates (Middlesex League Champions 1971 !).
We talked about baseball; we talked about our families; we talked about our careers; and we talked about the changes that life brings when you are in your sixties. Just comfortable, comfortable conversations among guys who know each other so well.
It made me think of this quote about old friends: “You never have to worry about telling them your life story. They were there.”
I am so happy and blessed that these wonderful guys (and many others!) were “there” as part of my life story. They were there for me and each other when we were kids, when we were adolescents, when we were young adults, when we were mid-life adults, and now when we are AARP members! They have supported each other unconditionally through our lives’ highs and lows, our triumphs and tragedies. Our lives have taken us in different directions, yet our common bond brings us together at the most important moments of our lives. They never ask for anything, they never expect anything; they just continue their loyal support, care, and love for each other year after year. And, most of all, they make it known, usually without spoken word, that if there is anything one of us needs, all we have to do is ask and, once again, they will be “there”.
I know you have special friends who have been there for you, and you have been there for them for a long, long time. Maybe you still see them regularly or maybe you haven’t talked to them in years. Either way, call them today – they will be glad to hear from you and be involved in the next chapter of your life’s story.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- The Dash
Well, it has been one year since we started posting MMM! Wow, 52 posts about which you all have been very kind to read, Like, and Comment. I want to thank you for your participation, feedback, and support. You make this old coach feel good to think I may be helping you in some way. We will continue to do this as long as you enjoy them (or until I run out of material!).
For this week, the MMM is simply one of my favorite videos, called The Dash by Linda Ellis. Two minutes and 48 seconds - I think it will be worthwhile.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsY6UrFIsNs
Well, it has been one year since we started posting MMM! Wow, 52 posts about which you all have been very kind to read, Like, and Comment. I want to thank you for your participation, feedback, and support. You make this old coach feel good to think I may be helping you in some way. We will continue to do this as long as you enjoy them (or until I run out of material!).
For this week, the MMM is simply one of my favorite videos, called The Dash by Linda Ellis. Two minutes and 48 seconds - I think it will be worthwhile.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsY6UrFIsNs
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- The Sisters
Bill and Pat Dunn, my mother and father-in-law, had eight children - all girls! That is amazing in itself, but even more amazing is the love and devotion those eight sisters have shown toward their parents, especially in their later years.
When Mrs. Dunn (Mimi) became ill with cancer, her daughters took care of her around the clock, every day for two years, until she passed in 2012. Mimi, thanks to her daughters, never had to be hospitalized, but lived where she wanted to be, in her own home, throughout her illness. When she passed, she was at home with her eight daughters by her side.
From that point on, The Sisters have done the same for their father (Papa) whose advanced dementia requires that he receive constant 24-hour care.
So for five years, my wife, May, and her sisters have each a taken 24-hour shifts every week in which they live at their parents home and cook meals, clean the house, do the laundry, pay bills, call for repair people, and pretty much everything that they also do at their own homes.
In addition, they have taken Mimi and Papa to church, walked them around the neighborhood, taken them to visit friends and relatives, helped them with dressing, bathing ,and feeding, and kindest of all, sat with them and offered words of comfort and love, while holding their hands for hours at a time.
Three of the sisters live just a few houses away from their parents and sometimes take on an extra shift (say when a snow storm prevents a sister who lives afar from getting to Papa's house) while others have the hardship of coming from as far as away as Plymouth, MA or New Hampshire. The 24-hour shifts are intensive and heart-wrenching, and they get no break and often no sleep. They miss days of work and time with their own families. Then they go home and take care of their own careers, homes, and families.
Nevertheless, The Sisters do what they do unselfishly and without complaint, although I can see that they are exhausted. They are the epitome of mental toughness.
The Sisters - Susan, Janet, May, Christine, Patty, Kathy, Lauren, and Maura are all different, yet all the same in that they have pulled together to allow their parents to live their last years in dignity, in their own homes, surrounded by their loved ones. What a blessing they have given their parents, what an inspiration they have given me and those of us who know them.
Bill and Pat Dunn, my mother and father-in-law, had eight children - all girls! That is amazing in itself, but even more amazing is the love and devotion those eight sisters have shown toward their parents, especially in their later years.
When Mrs. Dunn (Mimi) became ill with cancer, her daughters took care of her around the clock, every day for two years, until she passed in 2012. Mimi, thanks to her daughters, never had to be hospitalized, but lived where she wanted to be, in her own home, throughout her illness. When she passed, she was at home with her eight daughters by her side.
From that point on, The Sisters have done the same for their father (Papa) whose advanced dementia requires that he receive constant 24-hour care.
So for five years, my wife, May, and her sisters have each a taken 24-hour shifts every week in which they live at their parents home and cook meals, clean the house, do the laundry, pay bills, call for repair people, and pretty much everything that they also do at their own homes.
In addition, they have taken Mimi and Papa to church, walked them around the neighborhood, taken them to visit friends and relatives, helped them with dressing, bathing ,and feeding, and kindest of all, sat with them and offered words of comfort and love, while holding their hands for hours at a time.
Three of the sisters live just a few houses away from their parents and sometimes take on an extra shift (say when a snow storm prevents a sister who lives afar from getting to Papa's house) while others have the hardship of coming from as far as away as Plymouth, MA or New Hampshire. The 24-hour shifts are intensive and heart-wrenching, and they get no break and often no sleep. They miss days of work and time with their own families. Then they go home and take care of their own careers, homes, and families.
Nevertheless, The Sisters do what they do unselfishly and without complaint, although I can see that they are exhausted. They are the epitome of mental toughness.
The Sisters - Susan, Janet, May, Christine, Patty, Kathy, Lauren, and Maura are all different, yet all the same in that they have pulled together to allow their parents to live their last years in dignity, in their own homes, surrounded by their loved ones. What a blessing they have given their parents, what an inspiration they have given me and those of us who know them.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY
Well, this MMM is not about making someone's day in the way that Clint
Eastwood's character, Harry Callahan, was suggesting, but in a much kinder, gentler
way!
One of my favorite activities for my students is called The Compliment Ball.
The rules are simple: a student holds a ball and gives a compliment to a randomly
chosen fellow student. Then the student who just received a compliment, gives one to
the next randomly chosen student. The game continues until each student has a turn
as a compliment-giver and a compliment-receiver.
The results are amazing. I used to think that a high school boy would rather eat a
box of worms than stand up in front of classmates and express heartfelt feelings.
But I was wrong - these guys (and the girls) really like the opportunity to make
someone feel special.
By the way, we don't allow statements such as "I like your shirt" (that compliments
the shirt, not the person!). So we hear things like,"you always make me smile", "'or
you are always there for me when I need someone to talk to" or even "I don't know
you well, but I know you are a nice person"
Everyone likes to receive an honest compliment and it really can give us a lift.
And it is another win-win: the compliment-giver gains as much pleasure from making
someone happy as the recipient does.
Well, maybe you don't have a class of students with whom to play Compliment Ball but you have the opportunity, every day, to compliment your spouse, your friend, your
colleague, or the person bagging your groceries. Not just a thank you, but a genuine
compliment at the DD drive thru like "you always give me a smile with my coffee;
that makes my day!"
Here are some of the actual compliments I have given:
To a salesperson at Sephora (I know - what was I doing in there?), "I can tell you take pridein your job; you have such a positive attitude."
To a teacher, "Every day we put you in front of kids, you are making them better
people."
To a student, "I know you struggled early in the year, but you never gave up. Now
you are a great success story!"
So go ahead, MAKE SOMEONE'S DAY!
Well, this MMM is not about making someone's day in the way that Clint
Eastwood's character, Harry Callahan, was suggesting, but in a much kinder, gentler
way!
One of my favorite activities for my students is called The Compliment Ball.
The rules are simple: a student holds a ball and gives a compliment to a randomly
chosen fellow student. Then the student who just received a compliment, gives one to
the next randomly chosen student. The game continues until each student has a turn
as a compliment-giver and a compliment-receiver.
The results are amazing. I used to think that a high school boy would rather eat a
box of worms than stand up in front of classmates and express heartfelt feelings.
But I was wrong - these guys (and the girls) really like the opportunity to make
someone feel special.
By the way, we don't allow statements such as "I like your shirt" (that compliments
the shirt, not the person!). So we hear things like,"you always make me smile", "'or
you are always there for me when I need someone to talk to" or even "I don't know
you well, but I know you are a nice person"
Everyone likes to receive an honest compliment and it really can give us a lift.
And it is another win-win: the compliment-giver gains as much pleasure from making
someone happy as the recipient does.
Well, maybe you don't have a class of students with whom to play Compliment Ball but you have the opportunity, every day, to compliment your spouse, your friend, your
colleague, or the person bagging your groceries. Not just a thank you, but a genuine
compliment at the DD drive thru like "you always give me a smile with my coffee;
that makes my day!"
Here are some of the actual compliments I have given:
To a salesperson at Sephora (I know - what was I doing in there?), "I can tell you take pridein your job; you have such a positive attitude."
To a teacher, "Every day we put you in front of kids, you are making them better
people."
To a student, "I know you struggled early in the year, but you never gave up. Now
you are a great success story!"
So go ahead, MAKE SOMEONE'S DAY!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Good and Bad Days
One of my students came into my classroom ten minutes before the beginning of school and stated, “I’m having such a bad day”. I said, you probably have only been awake for 30 minutes, how can you be having a bad day?!” She told me that she did not sleep well and that she just knew this was going to be a bad day. Yikes. There are a couple things happening here. First, WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOU BRING ABOUT. If you tell yourself you are going to have a bad day, then you will make sure, intentionally or not, that things go badly for you. Conversely, when you tell yourself you are going to have a great day, you give yourself the best chance to find and experience things that will make your day great.
The other thing is that I believe that we don’t often have an entirely “bad day” or entirely “good day”. I understand that if we get news that a loved one is very ill or if we had a sudden financial loss that may very well make our day bad. And if we spend a vacation day on a tropical beach or attend a wedding of a friend, that day may feel like an entirely good day. But most days, probably 350 out of each 365 are GOOD AND BAD.
When we say we are having a bad day, it is probably because we had one bad moment or incident that we let affect the rest of our day. We lost a sales call, had a long wait in traffic, got a poor math test grade, or have a leak in our roof, so we consider our day to be bad. We need to look for and acknowledge the good in that day, as well. You lost one sale, but you made two successful sales; you had a long wait in traffic, but your favorite song came on the car radio; you did poorly on a math test, but you made a new friend at lunch; your roof is leaking but at least you have a roof over your head in a home where you are building a life for yourself and your family.
Accept that each day is likely to have some “bad” in it, but respond to it in a positive way. And actively look for and enjoy all the “good” in each day. When you recognize that your day will be Good and Bad, you will train yourself to maximize and relish in the good moments and minimize and give less importance to the bad ones.
One of my students came into my classroom ten minutes before the beginning of school and stated, “I’m having such a bad day”. I said, you probably have only been awake for 30 minutes, how can you be having a bad day?!” She told me that she did not sleep well and that she just knew this was going to be a bad day. Yikes. There are a couple things happening here. First, WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOU BRING ABOUT. If you tell yourself you are going to have a bad day, then you will make sure, intentionally or not, that things go badly for you. Conversely, when you tell yourself you are going to have a great day, you give yourself the best chance to find and experience things that will make your day great.
The other thing is that I believe that we don’t often have an entirely “bad day” or entirely “good day”. I understand that if we get news that a loved one is very ill or if we had a sudden financial loss that may very well make our day bad. And if we spend a vacation day on a tropical beach or attend a wedding of a friend, that day may feel like an entirely good day. But most days, probably 350 out of each 365 are GOOD AND BAD.
When we say we are having a bad day, it is probably because we had one bad moment or incident that we let affect the rest of our day. We lost a sales call, had a long wait in traffic, got a poor math test grade, or have a leak in our roof, so we consider our day to be bad. We need to look for and acknowledge the good in that day, as well. You lost one sale, but you made two successful sales; you had a long wait in traffic, but your favorite song came on the car radio; you did poorly on a math test, but you made a new friend at lunch; your roof is leaking but at least you have a roof over your head in a home where you are building a life for yourself and your family.
Accept that each day is likely to have some “bad” in it, but respond to it in a positive way. And actively look for and enjoy all the “good” in each day. When you recognize that your day will be Good and Bad, you will train yourself to maximize and relish in the good moments and minimize and give less importance to the bad ones.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best - The Journey
Here is another video from the movie, The Peaceful Warrior. Please watch it first.
http://youtu.be/MPykUOlxExY
In 2011 we had an outstanding baseball team at Reading High School that won 16 games and lost just 4. In almost any other year, that record would earn a league championship. But in 2011, Lexington was just a bit better.
Our kids were definitely disappointed; they felt that all their hard work was for naught. So we coaches showed our players this video. Then we told them that we recognized how hard they had worked all season and that we appreciated how they totally committed to climbing the mountain every day. Yet, at the end of the season, it seemed that all they had to show for their efforts was a rock.
So here was our question to our players: If you had known, before the season even started, that if you worked very hard every day and climbed the mountain you would not receive a championship, but a 2nd place finish, would you have worked just as hard? We got the answer we expected from this special group of kids – YES.
Thus our players came to understand that their season, their hard work, their climb was not in vain and that they had much more to show than a rock. They learned that their season was not about the destination, but about the journey. It was from that journey that they learned about winning and losing, prosperity and adversity, elation and heartache. Only through their genuine daily effort were they allowed to learn so much about themselves, as a team and individually. These bright kids realized that they had gained life skills that they would take with them and apply later, in the important journeys in their lives.
So we ask ourselves – would we make that trek up the mountain even if we weren’t certain that the prize would be waiting for us? Would we prepare a presentation for a client just as thoroughly even if it was unlikely that the client would say yes? Would we parent our kids just as diligently even though we know they will disappoint us sometimes? Would we prepare and practice for a promotion interview just as conscientiously even though we knew that we are realistically two years away from landing such a position?
Of course we would - because we value the journey and how we learn and grow from it! I think most of us believe the young man from the video who said, “It is the journey that brings us happiness, not the destination.”
Here is another video from the movie, The Peaceful Warrior. Please watch it first.
http://youtu.be/MPykUOlxExY
In 2011 we had an outstanding baseball team at Reading High School that won 16 games and lost just 4. In almost any other year, that record would earn a league championship. But in 2011, Lexington was just a bit better.
Our kids were definitely disappointed; they felt that all their hard work was for naught. So we coaches showed our players this video. Then we told them that we recognized how hard they had worked all season and that we appreciated how they totally committed to climbing the mountain every day. Yet, at the end of the season, it seemed that all they had to show for their efforts was a rock.
So here was our question to our players: If you had known, before the season even started, that if you worked very hard every day and climbed the mountain you would not receive a championship, but a 2nd place finish, would you have worked just as hard? We got the answer we expected from this special group of kids – YES.
Thus our players came to understand that their season, their hard work, their climb was not in vain and that they had much more to show than a rock. They learned that their season was not about the destination, but about the journey. It was from that journey that they learned about winning and losing, prosperity and adversity, elation and heartache. Only through their genuine daily effort were they allowed to learn so much about themselves, as a team and individually. These bright kids realized that they had gained life skills that they would take with them and apply later, in the important journeys in their lives.
So we ask ourselves – would we make that trek up the mountain even if we weren’t certain that the prize would be waiting for us? Would we prepare a presentation for a client just as thoroughly even if it was unlikely that the client would say yes? Would we parent our kids just as diligently even though we know they will disappoint us sometimes? Would we prepare and practice for a promotion interview just as conscientiously even though we knew that we are realistically two years away from landing such a position?
Of course we would - because we value the journey and how we learn and grow from it! I think most of us believe the young man from the video who said, “It is the journey that brings us happiness, not the destination.”
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best --- Letter of Thanks.
In my 39 years of teaching/coaching, there is no person I have admired more than legendary RMHS Wrestling Coach Tom Darrin. Tom and I have known each other since elementary school, played sports together, coached Freshman Football at RMHS together, had parallel careers as Department Heads, were Head Coaches of our respective sports at the same time, and we even got married on the same day in 1976!
Tom’s accomplishments and awards are too many to list here, but among them are his induction into the RMHS Athletic Hall of Fame, induction into the Mass. Chapter of the National Wrestling Hall of Fame, and having the RMHS Wrestling Room being named in his honor.
Here’s the thing – long before Tom became a Hall of Fame Coach, he was a Hall of Fame Person! Tom’s integrity, commitment, unselfishness, and desire to keep growing and learning have been part of his makeup for as long as I have known him. Among the multitude of reasons I admire Tom is that he will always do the right thing. In fact, I have seen Tom sacrifice a team win in order to teach his wrestlers a valuable life lesson. Not many of us coaches would do that.
After his amazing career in Reading, Tom “retired” and started the wrestling program at brand new Windham NH High School. Within two years, Tom’s team won a state championship in their division. Scott Farris (who wrestled and played Freshman Football for Tom and then was his Asst. Varsity Wrestling Coach) and I were pleased when Tom hired Personal Best to work with his team.
Tom called me last week to catch up and he mentioned how much he enjoys and applies the MMM’s. Tom also told me about an activity he recently did with his wrestlers. He had each wrestler write a Letter of Thanks to somebody who had helped them along the way in their young lives. Being the great coach he is, Tom modeled the activity and wrote a letter of his own – to his sophomore baseball coach at Phillips Exeter Academy. It seems that, back around 1968, Tom had a bad at bat and uncharacteristically said something to an umpire and tossed his helmet after a strikeout. Tom’s coach immediately addressed the situation and told Tom how such behavior was not allowed and that he had much higher expectations for decorum from a person of Tom's caliber.
Tom said that lesson really stuck with him and was the foundation of what he has taught his student-athletes. So he thanked his coach, 47 years after the fact, for caring enough to take the team to teach him a lesson.
What a win-win-win situation! Tom’s win is that he felt great about telling his old coach that he appreciated his effort; the coach wins because he knows that his effort impacted Tom and, ultimately, Tom’s wrestlers; and Tom’s current student-athletes win because they know that their own coach is willing to do (model) whatever he asks his players to do.
So how about we follow Coach Darrin’s example and write a Letter of Thanks to someone who has helped us in our lives? Not an email, not a text, not a voicemail, but an honest-to-goodness handwritten note that goes right from your heart to your pen. A win-win situation awaits!
In my 39 years of teaching/coaching, there is no person I have admired more than legendary RMHS Wrestling Coach Tom Darrin. Tom and I have known each other since elementary school, played sports together, coached Freshman Football at RMHS together, had parallel careers as Department Heads, were Head Coaches of our respective sports at the same time, and we even got married on the same day in 1976!
Tom’s accomplishments and awards are too many to list here, but among them are his induction into the RMHS Athletic Hall of Fame, induction into the Mass. Chapter of the National Wrestling Hall of Fame, and having the RMHS Wrestling Room being named in his honor.
Here’s the thing – long before Tom became a Hall of Fame Coach, he was a Hall of Fame Person! Tom’s integrity, commitment, unselfishness, and desire to keep growing and learning have been part of his makeup for as long as I have known him. Among the multitude of reasons I admire Tom is that he will always do the right thing. In fact, I have seen Tom sacrifice a team win in order to teach his wrestlers a valuable life lesson. Not many of us coaches would do that.
After his amazing career in Reading, Tom “retired” and started the wrestling program at brand new Windham NH High School. Within two years, Tom’s team won a state championship in their division. Scott Farris (who wrestled and played Freshman Football for Tom and then was his Asst. Varsity Wrestling Coach) and I were pleased when Tom hired Personal Best to work with his team.
Tom called me last week to catch up and he mentioned how much he enjoys and applies the MMM’s. Tom also told me about an activity he recently did with his wrestlers. He had each wrestler write a Letter of Thanks to somebody who had helped them along the way in their young lives. Being the great coach he is, Tom modeled the activity and wrote a letter of his own – to his sophomore baseball coach at Phillips Exeter Academy. It seems that, back around 1968, Tom had a bad at bat and uncharacteristically said something to an umpire and tossed his helmet after a strikeout. Tom’s coach immediately addressed the situation and told Tom how such behavior was not allowed and that he had much higher expectations for decorum from a person of Tom's caliber.
Tom said that lesson really stuck with him and was the foundation of what he has taught his student-athletes. So he thanked his coach, 47 years after the fact, for caring enough to take the team to teach him a lesson.
What a win-win-win situation! Tom’s win is that he felt great about telling his old coach that he appreciated his effort; the coach wins because he knows that his effort impacted Tom and, ultimately, Tom’s wrestlers; and Tom’s current student-athletes win because they know that their own coach is willing to do (model) whatever he asks his players to do.
So how about we follow Coach Darrin’s example and write a Letter of Thanks to someone who has helped us in our lives? Not an email, not a text, not a voicemail, but an honest-to-goodness handwritten note that goes right from your heart to your pen. A win-win situation awaits!
Monday Morning Motivator: Inspiration -- Invictus
The movie, Invictus, is a true story about South Africa’s national rugby team and its role in uniting its country at a critical time in history. President Nelson Mandela, having been recently released after 27 years in prison, initiates a venture to unite the apartheid-torn land through its rugby team, the Springboks.
The Springboks has been a weak team for many years, yet Mandela meets with team captain, Francois Pienaar, to discuss his vision of winning the 1995 Rugby World Cup, to be held in South Africa. The following video tells the story: http://youtu.be/mzabZJdoZsY
I know I have had many situations where something or someone “helped me to stand when all I want to do is to lie down.” Maybe because of a challenging day at work, a difficult family issue, or a significant health problem, I have had to find the inspiration that keeps me going, to help me “exceed [my] own expectations”. I know you all have faced similar adversity in your lives.
So what inspires you; who “makes you better than you think you can be?” Maybe it is a song or a poem. Or it could be a person such as a parent, spouse, coach, or friend. Maybe it is your strong faith. Whatever or whomever it is, we are wise to call on them, lean on them, and trust them. Believe me, your “inspiration” wants to be there for you (just as s/he knows you would do the same for her/him).
Life is hard, for sure. So find and use your “Invictus” and you will never be alone in facing life’s hardships.
The movie, Invictus, is a true story about South Africa’s national rugby team and its role in uniting its country at a critical time in history. President Nelson Mandela, having been recently released after 27 years in prison, initiates a venture to unite the apartheid-torn land through its rugby team, the Springboks.
The Springboks has been a weak team for many years, yet Mandela meets with team captain, Francois Pienaar, to discuss his vision of winning the 1995 Rugby World Cup, to be held in South Africa. The following video tells the story: http://youtu.be/mzabZJdoZsY
I know I have had many situations where something or someone “helped me to stand when all I want to do is to lie down.” Maybe because of a challenging day at work, a difficult family issue, or a significant health problem, I have had to find the inspiration that keeps me going, to help me “exceed [my] own expectations”. I know you all have faced similar adversity in your lives.
So what inspires you; who “makes you better than you think you can be?” Maybe it is a song or a poem. Or it could be a person such as a parent, spouse, coach, or friend. Maybe it is your strong faith. Whatever or whomever it is, we are wise to call on them, lean on them, and trust them. Believe me, your “inspiration” wants to be there for you (just as s/he knows you would do the same for her/him).
Life is hard, for sure. So find and use your “Invictus” and you will never be alone in facing life’s hardships.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Eat That Frog
What if you had to eat a live frog each and every day? Not an appealing thought (unless you are a snake or an otter!). Eating the frog would probably be the most unpleasant thing you would do all day, thus you might tend to “put it off” or procrastinate. Nevertheless, the frog must be eaten!
This 90-second video explains it best. http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/eat-that-frog/
The lesson is that we all have something unpleasant or undesirable to do each day. Maybe it is a difficult email to a client or breaking some bad news to a friend or doing some strenuous rehab exercises. The recommendation is to do that task first (we understand that it is not always possible to do that first, some things are scheduled outside of our control). Nevertheless, when we don’t get those done early in the day, then they “hang over our heads” all day long and put a negative feeling to the rest of the day and drain our energy. We need to do those things, anyway, so might as well get them done right away with a positive attitude. Then you can free up your day and your mind and see what they day has in store for you!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Paul Potts
Okay, there is a video for this MMM, but please don’t play it until you read on! Here is the set up: a few years ago, a gentleman named Paul Potts auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent. Paul presented himself as shy, unsure of himself, and, by his own admission, lacking in confidence. The judges asked him what he was going to perform and when he said, “Sing opera”, the judges rolled their eyes and pre-judged Paul in a negative way.
Now watch the video.
Wow. I have seen that video literally 50 times (we use it with Personal Best) and I get goose bumps every time. Paul went on to win the competition, record CD’s, perform for the Queen, and become an international star. And there are a whole bunch of lessons for us here.
From the judges’ side, we learn not to pre-judge people and that you can’t “tell a book from its cover.” I have read that we when we meet someone, we should then three chances, that is, three encounters before we make a judgment. By meeting #3, Paul was in the semi-finals and on his way to stardom!
From Paul’s side, we learn that we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. We could see from Paul’s facial expressions and body language that he was obviously uncomfortable on stage. Yet, somehow he found the courage to force himself out of his comfort zone and into his learning/growing zone. We have all been in situations that makes us uncomfortable - maybe going for a promotion, speaking in front of an audience, trying out for the team, or asking a girl for a date. Well, if Paul can do it, we can do it! We just need to believe in ourselves, trust our training, and go for it. No matter what the result, we will have learned and grown.
Lastly, I am sure that Paul had someone(s) who believed in him and pushed him. Somebody saw that Paul had a special gift that he needed to show the world. Seek out and stick with the people who believe in you and give you that push when you need it. And then do the same for then when they need it.
Okay, there is a video for this MMM, but please don’t play it until you read on! Here is the set up: a few years ago, a gentleman named Paul Potts auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent. Paul presented himself as shy, unsure of himself, and, by his own admission, lacking in confidence. The judges asked him what he was going to perform and when he said, “Sing opera”, the judges rolled their eyes and pre-judged Paul in a negative way.
Now watch the video.
Wow. I have seen that video literally 50 times (we use it with Personal Best) and I get goose bumps every time. Paul went on to win the competition, record CD’s, perform for the Queen, and become an international star. And there are a whole bunch of lessons for us here.
From the judges’ side, we learn not to pre-judge people and that you can’t “tell a book from its cover.” I have read that we when we meet someone, we should then three chances, that is, three encounters before we make a judgment. By meeting #3, Paul was in the semi-finals and on his way to stardom!
From Paul’s side, we learn that we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. We could see from Paul’s facial expressions and body language that he was obviously uncomfortable on stage. Yet, somehow he found the courage to force himself out of his comfort zone and into his learning/growing zone. We have all been in situations that makes us uncomfortable - maybe going for a promotion, speaking in front of an audience, trying out for the team, or asking a girl for a date. Well, if Paul can do it, we can do it! We just need to believe in ourselves, trust our training, and go for it. No matter what the result, we will have learned and grown.
Lastly, I am sure that Paul had someone(s) who believed in him and pushed him. Somebody saw that Paul had a special gift that he needed to show the world. Seek out and stick with the people who believe in you and give you that push when you need it. And then do the same for then when they need it.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best - Lessons from Super Bowl XLIX
Wow. What a game! Full of highs and lows that put us fans on an emotional roller coaster. Yet the players on the field seem to maintain their poise and focus despite the high-stakes pressure. We marvel at how they do it. So here are my observations about Championship Players:
1) A Championship Player believes in himself, his ability, and his preparation. Malcolm Butler, after the game, talked about how he had studied and prepared for the play Seattle ran on which he made the game-saving interception. Then he just trusted himself to make the play.
2) Championship Players believe in, and, trust each other. Moreover, they care about and love each other. That was quite evident in the way that players, coaches, and owners spoke after the game. Funny how that works - the teams that are founded on trust and love always seem to be successful.
3) Championship Players never give up. Even when down 10 points in the 4th quarter, the Patriots maintained their confidence and positivity. Giving up is just not in the DNA for champions. Same for Seattle - when behind 28-24 with 2 minutes left, they got within a yard of a winning score.
4) Championship Players can handle adversity. They have "short memories" about mistakes. They can release the negatives and have a "so what, next play" mentality. Brady, despite throwing two interceptions, was able to lead his team to two 4th quarter touchdowns. Malcolm Butler, after being the defender on the pass that Kearse caught on his back on the 5-yard line, made the big interception just two plays later.
5) Championship Players know how to focus on the process. They know how to perform "one play at a time". We heard Patriot players, after the game, say that they told themselves in order to come from behind, they needed to focus on one play at a time (rather than think too far ahead or think about results)
6) Championship Players are Mentally Tough. Just about every Pats player in post-game interviews, commented on the team's mental toughness. They take pride in their ability to respond effectively to adversity.
The thing is, each of us can demonstrate these same mental skills in our daily lives. We have tough days when raising our kids, but we never give up. We make mistakes at work and lose a sale, but we let it go and come after the next one with confidence. We face adversity daily, such as an illness of a loved one, yet we maintain our faith and positivity so we can be there and help our loved one the best we can.
So Mental Toughness is not just for winning Super Bowls; it is for winning at life, every day!
Wow. What a game! Full of highs and lows that put us fans on an emotional roller coaster. Yet the players on the field seem to maintain their poise and focus despite the high-stakes pressure. We marvel at how they do it. So here are my observations about Championship Players:
1) A Championship Player believes in himself, his ability, and his preparation. Malcolm Butler, after the game, talked about how he had studied and prepared for the play Seattle ran on which he made the game-saving interception. Then he just trusted himself to make the play.
2) Championship Players believe in, and, trust each other. Moreover, they care about and love each other. That was quite evident in the way that players, coaches, and owners spoke after the game. Funny how that works - the teams that are founded on trust and love always seem to be successful.
3) Championship Players never give up. Even when down 10 points in the 4th quarter, the Patriots maintained their confidence and positivity. Giving up is just not in the DNA for champions. Same for Seattle - when behind 28-24 with 2 minutes left, they got within a yard of a winning score.
4) Championship Players can handle adversity. They have "short memories" about mistakes. They can release the negatives and have a "so what, next play" mentality. Brady, despite throwing two interceptions, was able to lead his team to two 4th quarter touchdowns. Malcolm Butler, after being the defender on the pass that Kearse caught on his back on the 5-yard line, made the big interception just two plays later.
5) Championship Players know how to focus on the process. They know how to perform "one play at a time". We heard Patriot players, after the game, say that they told themselves in order to come from behind, they needed to focus on one play at a time (rather than think too far ahead or think about results)
6) Championship Players are Mentally Tough. Just about every Pats player in post-game interviews, commented on the team's mental toughness. They take pride in their ability to respond effectively to adversity.
The thing is, each of us can demonstrate these same mental skills in our daily lives. We have tough days when raising our kids, but we never give up. We make mistakes at work and lose a sale, but we let it go and come after the next one with confidence. We face adversity daily, such as an illness of a loved one, yet we maintain our faith and positivity so we can be there and help our loved one the best we can.
So Mental Toughness is not just for winning Super Bowls; it is for winning at life, every day!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best My Favorite Poster
Saw this on a poster last summer at a store in Cooperstown: "The name on the front of the jersey represents who you play for. The name on the back of the jersey represents who raised you. Do them both justice."
Made me think of the name "on the back of my jersey" and who raised me. My parents,of course, raised me from birth to adulthood. But there is a whole "village" of people who helped in that process and continue to "raise" me even as I grow old(er).
After all, if we are continually learning, growing, and trying to figure out how to be the best people we can be, we will always rely on people to raise us.
My list is not confined to people who share the same name on the back of my jersey, but a much more extensive list, including my mother, my father, my wife, my children, my brothers, my sisters/brothers in law, my mother/father in law, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my nieces and nephews, my cousins. Also my teachers, my coaches, my students, my teaching colleagues, my baseball players, my fellow baseball coaches, and my great friends.
These were, and are, my mentors, my teachers, my role models. These are the people who taught me, encouraged me, disciplined me, inspired me, laughed with me, cried with me, built me up, set me straight, celebrated with me, mourned with me, and loved me - all without being asked to do so nor expecting anything in return.
These are the people I look forward to seeing every day and sharing my life with. These are the people who made me the person I am today and the better person I hope to become.
If it takes a village to raise a person, I have had a great one, for which I am forever grateful. So when the poster says, “Do them … justice”, I know it means for each of us to live a life of service, kindness, and humility and do our best to be the type of person that would make them proud. And, also, it is probably a good idea to tell the people in our “village” how much we appreciate what they have done for us. After all, they deserve it!
Saw this on a poster last summer at a store in Cooperstown: "The name on the front of the jersey represents who you play for. The name on the back of the jersey represents who raised you. Do them both justice."
Made me think of the name "on the back of my jersey" and who raised me. My parents,of course, raised me from birth to adulthood. But there is a whole "village" of people who helped in that process and continue to "raise" me even as I grow old(er).
After all, if we are continually learning, growing, and trying to figure out how to be the best people we can be, we will always rely on people to raise us.
My list is not confined to people who share the same name on the back of my jersey, but a much more extensive list, including my mother, my father, my wife, my children, my brothers, my sisters/brothers in law, my mother/father in law, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my nieces and nephews, my cousins. Also my teachers, my coaches, my students, my teaching colleagues, my baseball players, my fellow baseball coaches, and my great friends.
These were, and are, my mentors, my teachers, my role models. These are the people who taught me, encouraged me, disciplined me, inspired me, laughed with me, cried with me, built me up, set me straight, celebrated with me, mourned with me, and loved me - all without being asked to do so nor expecting anything in return.
These are the people I look forward to seeing every day and sharing my life with. These are the people who made me the person I am today and the better person I hope to become.
If it takes a village to raise a person, I have had a great one, for which I am forever grateful. So when the poster says, “Do them … justice”, I know it means for each of us to live a life of service, kindness, and humility and do our best to be the type of person that would make them proud. And, also, it is probably a good idea to tell the people in our “village” how much we appreciate what they have done for us. After all, they deserve it!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Two Rules of Mental Toughness
In our Personal Best classes, we teach Two Rules of Mental Toughness:
1) You have to be in control of yourself before you can control your performance.
We have all seen individuals, say an athlete, who loses his/her emotional control and can’t regain composure and thus performs poorly. It is okay (maybe even helpful) to have strong emotions when we perform, but we must control them and use them to help, not hurt, our performance. Tom Brady is a great example of someone who demonstrates strong emotions but controls them by re-grouping and re-focusing before each play.
2) You have very little control over what goes on around you, but total control over how you choose to respond to it.
Charles Swindoll said, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” Well said, Charles. Since we can’t control weather, traffic, our clients, our colleagues, the economy, and so on, worrying about them doesn’t help at all! So let us focus on controlling what we can control – our response to those people and situations.
We like to say “control the control-ables” or control your APE (which stands for Attitude-Appearance-Positivity-Process-Perspective-Effort-Energy-Emotions).
So whether at work, at school, at home, or at play, use the Two Rules of Mental Toughness, control your APE, and you will perform your best when it means the most – every day!
In our Personal Best classes, we teach Two Rules of Mental Toughness:
1) You have to be in control of yourself before you can control your performance.
We have all seen individuals, say an athlete, who loses his/her emotional control and can’t regain composure and thus performs poorly. It is okay (maybe even helpful) to have strong emotions when we perform, but we must control them and use them to help, not hurt, our performance. Tom Brady is a great example of someone who demonstrates strong emotions but controls them by re-grouping and re-focusing before each play.
2) You have very little control over what goes on around you, but total control over how you choose to respond to it.
Charles Swindoll said, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” Well said, Charles. Since we can’t control weather, traffic, our clients, our colleagues, the economy, and so on, worrying about them doesn’t help at all! So let us focus on controlling what we can control – our response to those people and situations.
We like to say “control the control-ables” or control your APE (which stands for Attitude-Appearance-Positivity-Process-Perspective-Effort-Energy-Emotions).
So whether at work, at school, at home, or at play, use the Two Rules of Mental Toughness, control your APE, and you will perform your best when it means the most – every day!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Measure Success in Ten Years!
A noted college coach was asked, at the end of a season, if he considered his team to have been "successful". He said, "I don't know; ask me in ten years." His point was that he did not measure his team's success by games or championships won today, but by the type of men (or women) his players turn out to be in ten years and beyond.
I always felt the same way when I was a high school baseball coach for 35 years. This past weekend, I had an opportunity to see just how successful my teams from 1977 to 2013 turned out to be.
We had our annual Reading Baseball Alumni Club Dinner and 30 guys who played for our program in five different decades all came together as part of a most special fraternity. At one point during the evening, I stepped back, just to take it all in. I saw guys having a great time, chatting and laughing about their experiences with Reading Baseball. To see 20-somethings sharing a common bond with 50-somethings, was very satisfying to me (and to my great Assistant Coaches who also coached these guys).
So I beamed with pride to see how these guys, whom I mentored when they were 16-18 years old, have become remarkable men of character who are dedicated to their families, are leaders in their communities, and are having rewarding careers. So now I know - yes, our teams (players) were very, very successful.
So how is this a MMM? Well, for those of you who are teachers, coaches, tutors, mentors, parents or work with kids in any way, keep this in mind: although you may sometimes feel like tearing your hair out because your kids don’t seem to be “getting it”, just stick with the process of teaching them, of being a role model for them, of having high expectations for them, of holding them accountable, of encouraging them, of disciplining them, and of loving them. I’ll bet that your kids, just like my former players, will become successful adults who make you proud, just like this old coach!
A noted college coach was asked, at the end of a season, if he considered his team to have been "successful". He said, "I don't know; ask me in ten years." His point was that he did not measure his team's success by games or championships won today, but by the type of men (or women) his players turn out to be in ten years and beyond.
I always felt the same way when I was a high school baseball coach for 35 years. This past weekend, I had an opportunity to see just how successful my teams from 1977 to 2013 turned out to be.
We had our annual Reading Baseball Alumni Club Dinner and 30 guys who played for our program in five different decades all came together as part of a most special fraternity. At one point during the evening, I stepped back, just to take it all in. I saw guys having a great time, chatting and laughing about their experiences with Reading Baseball. To see 20-somethings sharing a common bond with 50-somethings, was very satisfying to me (and to my great Assistant Coaches who also coached these guys).
So I beamed with pride to see how these guys, whom I mentored when they were 16-18 years old, have become remarkable men of character who are dedicated to their families, are leaders in their communities, and are having rewarding careers. So now I know - yes, our teams (players) were very, very successful.
So how is this a MMM? Well, for those of you who are teachers, coaches, tutors, mentors, parents or work with kids in any way, keep this in mind: although you may sometimes feel like tearing your hair out because your kids don’t seem to be “getting it”, just stick with the process of teaching them, of being a role model for them, of having high expectations for them, of holding them accountable, of encouraging them, of disciplining them, and of loving them. I’ll bet that your kids, just like my former players, will become successful adults who make you proud, just like this old coach!
1-4-15 Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- The Power of a Smile
There is much scientific proof that smiling has numerous health benefits. Among them is that when we smile, we produce endorphins, which are chemicals that are responsible for making us feel happy. The cool thing is that, even if we are not feeling happy, faking a smile works just as well! Our brain cannot differentiate between real or fake smiles, so it releases endorphins in either case. The result is that endorphins make us feel happier and less stressed, which causes us to smile more, which releases more endorphins, and so on.
Furthermore, smiling is an attractive expression that projects a positive, friendly attitude that: makes us more approachable; makes interactions with others more enjoyable; and has a contagious affect that will make others smile and feel better, too.
Studies show that people who smile often are healthier, have less stress, have better immune systems, ad look younger and more attractive. So let's try this:
1) smile at your spouse and children first thing every morning
2) smile at your colleagues as you greet them at work
3) smile at strangers - such as the cashier at the store (I bet you get a return smile)
4) smile into the mirror. You will receive both the benefits of making a smile and receiving a smile. Plus, it is good for us to see ourselves at our best every day!
Last thing – just made up this acronym. When you smile, you will:
Smile away your stress
Make others happy
Improve your mood
Look more attractive
Enjoy the endorphins!
There is much scientific proof that smiling has numerous health benefits. Among them is that when we smile, we produce endorphins, which are chemicals that are responsible for making us feel happy. The cool thing is that, even if we are not feeling happy, faking a smile works just as well! Our brain cannot differentiate between real or fake smiles, so it releases endorphins in either case. The result is that endorphins make us feel happier and less stressed, which causes us to smile more, which releases more endorphins, and so on.
Furthermore, smiling is an attractive expression that projects a positive, friendly attitude that: makes us more approachable; makes interactions with others more enjoyable; and has a contagious affect that will make others smile and feel better, too.
Studies show that people who smile often are healthier, have less stress, have better immune systems, ad look younger and more attractive. So let's try this:
1) smile at your spouse and children first thing every morning
2) smile at your colleagues as you greet them at work
3) smile at strangers - such as the cashier at the store (I bet you get a return smile)
4) smile into the mirror. You will receive both the benefits of making a smile and receiving a smile. Plus, it is good for us to see ourselves at our best every day!
Last thing – just made up this acronym. When you smile, you will:
Smile away your stress
Make others happy
Improve your mood
Look more attractive
Enjoy the endorphins!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- The Last Lecture
As 2014 comes to an end, Personal Best will not post a “New Year’s Resolution” message, but rather give you a most powerful video that may inspire each of us to live 2015 to the fullest. It is 10 minutes long, but I promise it will be worth your time!
I hope that 2015 brings you all good health and much happiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BODHsU3hDo4
As 2014 comes to an end, Personal Best will not post a “New Year’s Resolution” message, but rather give you a most powerful video that may inspire each of us to live 2015 to the fullest. It is 10 minutes long, but I promise it will be worth your time!
I hope that 2015 brings you all good health and much happiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BODHsU3hDo4
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Our Beliefs
A little girl was at the age when she questioned the existence of Santa Claus and expressed her skepticism to her mother. Her mom said, "Your Dad and I did not want to tell you, but now that you have figured it out on your own, we can say, 'you are right, Santa Claus is not real.'" The little girl paused and frowned, but then her face lit up as she exclaimed, "At least we still have the Easter Bunny!"
At this time of year, belief is certainly on our minds. Belief is powerful, and it is not just for children at Christmas, but for all of us, every day.
At Personal Best, here are some of our beliefs that we teach in our classes. See how you can apply them to the holiday season.
We believe in living in the Present Moment. When you are with your friends and family over the holidays, be "right here, right now". Put your daily concerns aside and give your loved ones your total attention and energy.
We believe in having a Positive Mindset. Although positive thinking gives us no guarantee for happiness, it gives us a much better chance than negative thinking does! So find the positives in the holidays- enjoy the spirit of giving, of eating, of laughing, of singing, of praying, of playing.
We believe in having a Healthy Perspective. Rather than be unhappy for what we do not have, let us be grateful for what we do have, particularly health, family, and friends.
We believe in Responding to Adversity with Courage. The Moscariello Family is certainly not unique in that we have had some adversity this season; all families experience such hardships. Remember that our holidays and our lives will be determined not by what happens to us, but by how we choose to respond to it. So go forth and face adversity with courage and perseverance.
You see, Personal Best's beliefs are not just for high school baseball players, college hockey teams, or Fortune 500 businesses. Rather, they are for all of us, during the holidays - and every day.
A little girl was at the age when she questioned the existence of Santa Claus and expressed her skepticism to her mother. Her mom said, "Your Dad and I did not want to tell you, but now that you have figured it out on your own, we can say, 'you are right, Santa Claus is not real.'" The little girl paused and frowned, but then her face lit up as she exclaimed, "At least we still have the Easter Bunny!"
At this time of year, belief is certainly on our minds. Belief is powerful, and it is not just for children at Christmas, but for all of us, every day.
At Personal Best, here are some of our beliefs that we teach in our classes. See how you can apply them to the holiday season.
We believe in living in the Present Moment. When you are with your friends and family over the holidays, be "right here, right now". Put your daily concerns aside and give your loved ones your total attention and energy.
We believe in having a Positive Mindset. Although positive thinking gives us no guarantee for happiness, it gives us a much better chance than negative thinking does! So find the positives in the holidays- enjoy the spirit of giving, of eating, of laughing, of singing, of praying, of playing.
We believe in having a Healthy Perspective. Rather than be unhappy for what we do not have, let us be grateful for what we do have, particularly health, family, and friends.
We believe in Responding to Adversity with Courage. The Moscariello Family is certainly not unique in that we have had some adversity this season; all families experience such hardships. Remember that our holidays and our lives will be determined not by what happens to us, but by how we choose to respond to it. So go forth and face adversity with courage and perseverance.
You see, Personal Best's beliefs are not just for high school baseball players, college hockey teams, or Fortune 500 businesses. Rather, they are for all of us, during the holidays - and every day.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- It's the Giver, not the Gift
I had a wonderful day at Gillette Stadium today watching the Patriots drub Miami, courtesy of Al Weston, my great friend for over 50 years. Al was kind and compassionate enough to see that a day of football and friendship was just what I needed. Yet as much as I enjoyed watching Brady, Gronkowski, and Edelman in my very first game at Gillette, I much more enjoyed being with, talking to, and laughing alongside Al for 8 hours. I am very grateful for his generous gift of a free ticket and transporting me door-to-door, but I am much more grateful for the gift of Al's time - time he chose to spend with me.
During this holiday season, we all try to find just the right gifts to show our loved ones how much we care. Nothing wrong with that, at all. But, along with that cashmere sweater or Keurig coffee brewer, give them the gift of yourself and your time. So make and keep a promise to have lunch together, sit down and look at old family photos, or watch a ballgame together. I promise you, as much as your loved ones will be grateful for the Gift, they will truly cherish time spent with the Giver.
I had a wonderful day at Gillette Stadium today watching the Patriots drub Miami, courtesy of Al Weston, my great friend for over 50 years. Al was kind and compassionate enough to see that a day of football and friendship was just what I needed. Yet as much as I enjoyed watching Brady, Gronkowski, and Edelman in my very first game at Gillette, I much more enjoyed being with, talking to, and laughing alongside Al for 8 hours. I am very grateful for his generous gift of a free ticket and transporting me door-to-door, but I am much more grateful for the gift of Al's time - time he chose to spend with me.
During this holiday season, we all try to find just the right gifts to show our loved ones how much we care. Nothing wrong with that, at all. But, along with that cashmere sweater or Keurig coffee brewer, give them the gift of yourself and your time. So make and keep a promise to have lunch together, sit down and look at old family photos, or watch a ballgame together. I promise you, as much as your loved ones will be grateful for the Gift, they will truly cherish time spent with the Giver.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Discipline Yourself
Last week at Lowell Catholic High School, our Assistant Principal came on the PA system to remind students about certain dress code requirements and consequences for violations. Although the requirements contained nothing new for students, complaints ensued. So I said to my class, "You know what the rules are, so why not just abide by them and avoid the unfavorable consequences?"
A discussion followed in which students talked about how parents are always "on their case" about things like doing their homework or cleaning their rooms. Students also said they don't like being disciplined by their parents for things like missing curfew by five minutes. So I said, "Do you think your parents like to be on your case about homework or cleaning your room? Do you think they like disciplining you? Believe me, they are tired of doing that! So give them (and yourselves) a break and discipline yourself. You know you are going to do your homework and clean your room, anyway, so just do it before your parents need to get involved. In other words, DISCIPLINE YOURSELF SO NOBODY ELSE HAS TO.
I think the same goes for us adults - we should discipline ourselves to eat properly and exercise so our doctors don't have to "discipline us"'; we should discipline ourselves to get to bed, get up, and get to work on time so supervisors don't have to speak to us. The list is endless but the message is the same - self-discipline will give us a sense of pride and accomplishment while being disciplined by others never feels good. Remember, we will all face one of two pains - the Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret!
Last week at Lowell Catholic High School, our Assistant Principal came on the PA system to remind students about certain dress code requirements and consequences for violations. Although the requirements contained nothing new for students, complaints ensued. So I said to my class, "You know what the rules are, so why not just abide by them and avoid the unfavorable consequences?"
A discussion followed in which students talked about how parents are always "on their case" about things like doing their homework or cleaning their rooms. Students also said they don't like being disciplined by their parents for things like missing curfew by five minutes. So I said, "Do you think your parents like to be on your case about homework or cleaning your room? Do you think they like disciplining you? Believe me, they are tired of doing that! So give them (and yourselves) a break and discipline yourself. You know you are going to do your homework and clean your room, anyway, so just do it before your parents need to get involved. In other words, DISCIPLINE YOURSELF SO NOBODY ELSE HAS TO.
I think the same goes for us adults - we should discipline ourselves to eat properly and exercise so our doctors don't have to "discipline us"'; we should discipline ourselves to get to bed, get up, and get to work on time so supervisors don't have to speak to us. The list is endless but the message is the same - self-discipline will give us a sense of pride and accomplishment while being disciplined by others never feels good. Remember, we will all face one of two pains - the Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Compared to What?
We all have challenges in life - health issues, difficulties at work, problems with relationships, financial woes, and the loss of loved ones. Yet, we find a way to carry on; that is the miracle of the human spirit. Here is a story in which the human spirit soars to unfathomable heights.
In 1992, our Reading Baseball team had a student-manager named Will Lautzenheiser. Will, I believe, had some challenges during his HS years, but he went on to college, graduated, and became a professor of film and screenwriting. He was already a great success story.
Yet, his greatest success came after his greatest adversity. Three years ago, Will got an infection that required doctors to amputate his arms and legs in order to save his life. Certainly a hardship beyond what most of us could ever imagine. Yet Will's courage and determination allowed him to continue his life's dreams and even become a comedian in local clubs!
Just a few weeks ago, Will was the recipient of two arms - human arms- from an anonymous donor. After lengthy surgeries, Will now has two functioning arms! Yet, his plight continues, as each day Will, who has prosthetic legs, goes to Brigham and Women's Hospital for four hours of intensive physical therapy.
Having read about this in the local paper, I was able to track down Will's phone number and talk to him for the first time in 22 years. I was struck by his amazingly positive attitude. In fact, he said that positive attitude is the key factor in his recovery. Will talked about his progress and that he is beginning to get use of his new arms. He also mentioned that there are many challenges ahead, as rejection is likely to become a factor. Nevertheless, Will is filled with gratitude and optimism.
I told Will that he is an inspiration not only to me, but to thousands of people whom he may never meet. He liked that, but continued to speak as if his plight is no more difficult that what we all face. That is when I was reminded of a phrase, "Compared to What?" I, like all of us, have some significant challenges in life, yet they seem small compared to what Will has endured. So, from now on, I pledge to face my own obstacles with courage and conviction and, most of all, a "compared to what" attitude.
You can read more about Will at: http://www.bostonglobe.com/…/HN36G2HKIIeNxbdz3Ve…/story.html
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Pick Up the Penny
My mother always says that if you see a penny on the ground, pick it up and you will have good fortune that day. I always dismissed that as just a silly superstition, but now I see there is additional value to the idea of “picking up a penny.”
Most of us, when we see a penny on the ground, would ignore it rather than make the effort to pick up something worth just one cent. Well, I say we should make that effort because then we are demonstrating to ourselves that we are willing to do something that most people are not willing to do. We are exerting effort for what seems like little reward. Yet the reward is in the effort; we are training ourselves to do the little extra, to be self-disciplined, to do what it takes to attain greatness.
In my teaching and coaching career, I have seen students and athletes who proclaim that they want to be great. I always say, “That’s fine, but what are you willing to do to reach greatness?” Are you willing to stay after practice and field 50 extra ground balls or push yourself harder in the conditioning drills? Are you willing to study an extra hour for the test and also come to school early for extra help? In other words, are you willing to pick up every penny you see on the ground?
When you do those things, then you will be proud of your effort and will give yourself a chance to reach your goals, to become great. Thus, I have known many students and athletes who picked up pennies and committed to what it took to truly be great.
The thing is, my mother demonstrates this in her life every day; it took me long time to realize that! Because of my mom’s inspiration (not her superstition), I try to “pick up pennies” at every opportunity. I think you can do it, too!
My mother always says that if you see a penny on the ground, pick it up and you will have good fortune that day. I always dismissed that as just a silly superstition, but now I see there is additional value to the idea of “picking up a penny.”
Most of us, when we see a penny on the ground, would ignore it rather than make the effort to pick up something worth just one cent. Well, I say we should make that effort because then we are demonstrating to ourselves that we are willing to do something that most people are not willing to do. We are exerting effort for what seems like little reward. Yet the reward is in the effort; we are training ourselves to do the little extra, to be self-disciplined, to do what it takes to attain greatness.
In my teaching and coaching career, I have seen students and athletes who proclaim that they want to be great. I always say, “That’s fine, but what are you willing to do to reach greatness?” Are you willing to stay after practice and field 50 extra ground balls or push yourself harder in the conditioning drills? Are you willing to study an extra hour for the test and also come to school early for extra help? In other words, are you willing to pick up every penny you see on the ground?
When you do those things, then you will be proud of your effort and will give yourself a chance to reach your goals, to become great. Thus, I have known many students and athletes who picked up pennies and committed to what it took to truly be great.
The thing is, my mother demonstrates this in her life every day; it took me long time to realize that! Because of my mom’s inspiration (not her superstition), I try to “pick up pennies” at every opportunity. I think you can do it, too!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Success
I just got back from Syracuse University, having visited Kaleb Joseph, the freshman basketball player for whom I am his Mental Conditioning Coach. Last week's MMM said we would talk about a definition for Success this week.
So I gave Kaleb Personal Best's definition: Success = Preparation + Effort. Our belief is that if you prepare thoroughly and genuinely for a performance and then you give 100% effort, then that is Success. The following video illustrates that point.
http://youtu.be/5QuRKwZ8d_U
So how can that be considered success when Derek Redmond finished dead last in his once chance for an Olympic medal? Well, because he did everything he possibly could do to give himself the best chance for the result he desired. We know he prepared (Olympians prepare like no others!) and he certainly gave his 100% effort at the event. Redmond controlled what he could control (preparation, effort) and focused on the process, not the result. And that is how he won so many races that allowed him to qualify for the Olympics in the first place!
So whether your performance is a race, a basketball game, a presentation at work, a sales call, or a chemistry test, remember to focus on the process and that will give you the best chance to get the results you want. You may not always "win", but you will always succeed!
I just got back from Syracuse University, having visited Kaleb Joseph, the freshman basketball player for whom I am his Mental Conditioning Coach. Last week's MMM said we would talk about a definition for Success this week.
So I gave Kaleb Personal Best's definition: Success = Preparation + Effort. Our belief is that if you prepare thoroughly and genuinely for a performance and then you give 100% effort, then that is Success. The following video illustrates that point.
http://youtu.be/5QuRKwZ8d_U
So how can that be considered success when Derek Redmond finished dead last in his once chance for an Olympic medal? Well, because he did everything he possibly could do to give himself the best chance for the result he desired. We know he prepared (Olympians prepare like no others!) and he certainly gave his 100% effort at the event. Redmond controlled what he could control (preparation, effort) and focused on the process, not the result. And that is how he won so many races that allowed him to qualify for the Olympics in the first place!
So whether your performance is a race, a basketball game, a presentation at work, a sales call, or a chemistry test, remember to focus on the process and that will give you the best chance to get the results you want. You may not always "win", but you will always succeed!
Monday Morning Motivator - Stay Calm and Focused
I really like the “Keep Calm and Carry On” signs that we see these days. They came to mind yesterday when I read an interview about a freshman basketball player at Syracuse University. This player said his goal for games was to “stay calm and focused.” I was really glad to read that because I happen to be his personal mental conditioning coach.
This player is going to be the starting point guard for Syracuse and is touted as one of the top 20 freshman players in all of college basketball. He is expected to run the team’s offense, be a leader on and off the court, and help the Orange reach its usual place as a power in college basketball. A lot to ask for a freshman!
In addition, this 18-year old is about to face the challenges of playing nationally televised games in front of 49,000 avid fans at the Carrier Dome for a legendary and demanding coach, and will face packed arenas with hostile fans at ACC venues like North Carolina and Duke. So staying calm and focused is not just a good idea, it is a necessity!
How will he stay calm and focused with all these pressures and expectations? Well, he will do it because he is a very hard worker who is committed to improving physically as well as mentally each day. He is learning how to play in the Present Moment, maintain a Positive Mindset, and focus on the Process (rather than Outcome). He will use Positive Self-Talk, Visualization, and Breathing to stay calm and focused in pressure situations. So I know he is going to keep learning and growing and will have great success.*
So I was thinking – isn’t staying calm and focused a necessity for all of us? Our first rule of Mental Toughness says, “You have to be in control of yourself before you can control your performance.” So whether we are playing athletics, taking a chemistry exam, making a presentation at a meeting, making an important sales call, or having a discussion with our teenager, being in control of our emotions is the only way we can be focused and thus, successful.
So prior to performance, take a deep breath and use self-talk such as “I am calm and relaxed”, “ I am focused” or “I am confident” and you will be amazed at how calm you can be and how focused you can be on what is most important – this moment.
*This player has asked me about how he can define success for himself. So I will show you what I told him in next week’s MMM.
I really like the “Keep Calm and Carry On” signs that we see these days. They came to mind yesterday when I read an interview about a freshman basketball player at Syracuse University. This player said his goal for games was to “stay calm and focused.” I was really glad to read that because I happen to be his personal mental conditioning coach.
This player is going to be the starting point guard for Syracuse and is touted as one of the top 20 freshman players in all of college basketball. He is expected to run the team’s offense, be a leader on and off the court, and help the Orange reach its usual place as a power in college basketball. A lot to ask for a freshman!
In addition, this 18-year old is about to face the challenges of playing nationally televised games in front of 49,000 avid fans at the Carrier Dome for a legendary and demanding coach, and will face packed arenas with hostile fans at ACC venues like North Carolina and Duke. So staying calm and focused is not just a good idea, it is a necessity!
How will he stay calm and focused with all these pressures and expectations? Well, he will do it because he is a very hard worker who is committed to improving physically as well as mentally each day. He is learning how to play in the Present Moment, maintain a Positive Mindset, and focus on the Process (rather than Outcome). He will use Positive Self-Talk, Visualization, and Breathing to stay calm and focused in pressure situations. So I know he is going to keep learning and growing and will have great success.*
So I was thinking – isn’t staying calm and focused a necessity for all of us? Our first rule of Mental Toughness says, “You have to be in control of yourself before you can control your performance.” So whether we are playing athletics, taking a chemistry exam, making a presentation at a meeting, making an important sales call, or having a discussion with our teenager, being in control of our emotions is the only way we can be focused and thus, successful.
So prior to performance, take a deep breath and use self-talk such as “I am calm and relaxed”, “ I am focused” or “I am confident” and you will be amazed at how calm you can be and how focused you can be on what is most important – this moment.
*This player has asked me about how he can define success for himself. So I will show you what I told him in next week’s MMM.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- You Become the Average of the Five People You Associate with Most
My wife, May, and I have had a house guest for the past few days. Our guest, Barb, has been May’s great friend since childhood. They grew up on the same street, went to school together, and were best buddies. Barb and her family moved to Rochester, NY in Middle School years and eventually to Austin, Texas. Yet she and May have remained great friends, stay in constant touch, and even manage to visit each other at least once a year. I am thrilled when Barb visits us because I see how much she and May love each other and bring out the best in each other! It is awesome when we choose great friends who impact our lives forever.
So the point is: We Become the Average of the Five People We Associate with Most.
When we choose to associate with kind, caring, positive, “Energy-Givers” like Barb, then we are sure to prosper ourselves. When we have the choice, we should avoid people who are “Energy-Takers”, as they are likely to pull us down their path of negativity.
This is a great lesson for us adults, but also for our kids as they choose with whom they want to associate. There are lots of “Barbs” out there, so encourage your children to find five Energy Givers - friends, family members, teachers, coaches, or mentors who will bring out the best in them. In that way, your children are sure to become the average of five special people who share their values, work ethic, and character.
My wife, May, and I have had a house guest for the past few days. Our guest, Barb, has been May’s great friend since childhood. They grew up on the same street, went to school together, and were best buddies. Barb and her family moved to Rochester, NY in Middle School years and eventually to Austin, Texas. Yet she and May have remained great friends, stay in constant touch, and even manage to visit each other at least once a year. I am thrilled when Barb visits us because I see how much she and May love each other and bring out the best in each other! It is awesome when we choose great friends who impact our lives forever.
So the point is: We Become the Average of the Five People We Associate with Most.
When we choose to associate with kind, caring, positive, “Energy-Givers” like Barb, then we are sure to prosper ourselves. When we have the choice, we should avoid people who are “Energy-Takers”, as they are likely to pull us down their path of negativity.
This is a great lesson for us adults, but also for our kids as they choose with whom they want to associate. There are lots of “Barbs” out there, so encourage your children to find five Energy Givers - friends, family members, teachers, coaches, or mentors who will bring out the best in them. In that way, your children are sure to become the average of five special people who share their values, work ethic, and character.
Monday Morning Motivator -- Kaizen
Kaizen is a Japanese word that, somewhat loosely translated, means constant, incremental improvements. Kaizen is a great concept to help us continually move forward and improve ourselves each day. Here is a good example.
One of Reading High School’s most memorable students was a young man named Jimmy Queeney. He was an outstanding football player, possibly the school’s best-ever lacrosse player, the class Valedictorian, and the most brilliant math student I have ever seen. In addition, he was a humble, respectful young man of great character – as fine an all-around person as our school has ever produced, in my opinion.
Anyway, Jim had taken all the math courses that our school offered by his sophomore year, so he took additional advanced courses online, on his own. He would use his study period to do the homework for such courses. Jimmy did his studying in my classroom when I happened to be free as well.
Often, I would interrupt Jimmy’s work to pick his brain and ask him questions like, “What allows you to be so confident?” or “What do you do to prepare yourself mentally for a test or a game?” and, “How have you managed to get where you are now – at your very best academically and athletically?” His answer to that last question was, “I just try to get a little bit better every day. I figure if I am not going forward, I am going backward, so I make sure to push myself to improve each day.”
That is the essence of Kaizen. Whether you are trying to improve your sales technique at work, your ability to communicate with your teenager, or your serve in tennis, understand that you can’t go from level 0 to 10 all at once. So set a goal for what you want to improve today, make a plan how to reach that goal, and then go after it with enthusiasm. After making that incremental improvement, set a goal for the next day, and achieve that. Take no “days off” or else you may move backward. Instead, keep moving forward and improving a little bit each day. Before long, your “Kaizen” method will have allowed you to improve significantly in the areas of your choice.
Kaizen is a Japanese word that, somewhat loosely translated, means constant, incremental improvements. Kaizen is a great concept to help us continually move forward and improve ourselves each day. Here is a good example.
One of Reading High School’s most memorable students was a young man named Jimmy Queeney. He was an outstanding football player, possibly the school’s best-ever lacrosse player, the class Valedictorian, and the most brilliant math student I have ever seen. In addition, he was a humble, respectful young man of great character – as fine an all-around person as our school has ever produced, in my opinion.
Anyway, Jim had taken all the math courses that our school offered by his sophomore year, so he took additional advanced courses online, on his own. He would use his study period to do the homework for such courses. Jimmy did his studying in my classroom when I happened to be free as well.
Often, I would interrupt Jimmy’s work to pick his brain and ask him questions like, “What allows you to be so confident?” or “What do you do to prepare yourself mentally for a test or a game?” and, “How have you managed to get where you are now – at your very best academically and athletically?” His answer to that last question was, “I just try to get a little bit better every day. I figure if I am not going forward, I am going backward, so I make sure to push myself to improve each day.”
That is the essence of Kaizen. Whether you are trying to improve your sales technique at work, your ability to communicate with your teenager, or your serve in tennis, understand that you can’t go from level 0 to 10 all at once. So set a goal for what you want to improve today, make a plan how to reach that goal, and then go after it with enthusiasm. After making that incremental improvement, set a goal for the next day, and achieve that. Take no “days off” or else you may move backward. Instead, keep moving forward and improving a little bit each day. Before long, your “Kaizen” method will have allowed you to improve significantly in the areas of your choice.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Legacy
We hear a lot about legacy these days, usually in terms of things like, “Now that he has won NBA titles, LeBron James has solidified his legacy” or “Peyton Manning needs to win one more Super Bowl to establish his legacy as the greatest quarterback of all time”.
Well, I think that legacy is much more than that. A legacy is not created by what you do or gain for yourself, but by what you do for others. Now, I recognize that winning NBA titles and Super Bowls are not just “for yourself”, but are team accomplishments that require unselfishness and may inspire others in positive ways. But I think the true meaning of legacy is captured in this quote by Albert Pike, “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains, and is immortal.”
When I think of legacy, there is no better example than Reading HS Hall of Famer, Ken Hollingsworth, who has had a remarkable football and baseball coaching career at the Tilton School. Ken’s legacy is not the numerous championships his teams have won, nor the countless awards and accolades (all well-deserved) he has received. It is what he has given his players - the daily life lesson he has taught them through sports. Talk to any of Ken’s former or current players and students, and they will tell you they are better men and women because of the impact Coach Hollingsworth has had on them. And as his students and athletes go forth in the world, they will pass on, to their friends, colleagues, and especially, family, the lessons they learned from Ken. Now that’s a legacy of which to be proud!
Maybe we all can’t have the far-reaching impact and legacy as Ken, yet we can certainly establish a very important and powerful legacy of our own. Every time we do an act of kindness, every time we help someone in need, every time we write a thank you note (use paper and pen, not text or email!) we are building a legacy. We are impacting people in a positive way that will allow them to “pass it forward.”
Most of all, those of us who have children, have the opportunity to build a legacy through them every day. In fact our children are our legacy. The tireless and unselfish work parents do to teach children essential lessons will ultimately make them strong, independent people of great character. And your children will teach their children in a similar manner, and so on, for generations.
So just like Ken Hollingsworth, your daily efforts to impact your children, colleagues, friends, and even strangers, will be your legacy and will truly be immortal.
We hear a lot about legacy these days, usually in terms of things like, “Now that he has won NBA titles, LeBron James has solidified his legacy” or “Peyton Manning needs to win one more Super Bowl to establish his legacy as the greatest quarterback of all time”.
Well, I think that legacy is much more than that. A legacy is not created by what you do or gain for yourself, but by what you do for others. Now, I recognize that winning NBA titles and Super Bowls are not just “for yourself”, but are team accomplishments that require unselfishness and may inspire others in positive ways. But I think the true meaning of legacy is captured in this quote by Albert Pike, “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains, and is immortal.”
When I think of legacy, there is no better example than Reading HS Hall of Famer, Ken Hollingsworth, who has had a remarkable football and baseball coaching career at the Tilton School. Ken’s legacy is not the numerous championships his teams have won, nor the countless awards and accolades (all well-deserved) he has received. It is what he has given his players - the daily life lesson he has taught them through sports. Talk to any of Ken’s former or current players and students, and they will tell you they are better men and women because of the impact Coach Hollingsworth has had on them. And as his students and athletes go forth in the world, they will pass on, to their friends, colleagues, and especially, family, the lessons they learned from Ken. Now that’s a legacy of which to be proud!
Maybe we all can’t have the far-reaching impact and legacy as Ken, yet we can certainly establish a very important and powerful legacy of our own. Every time we do an act of kindness, every time we help someone in need, every time we write a thank you note (use paper and pen, not text or email!) we are building a legacy. We are impacting people in a positive way that will allow them to “pass it forward.”
Most of all, those of us who have children, have the opportunity to build a legacy through them every day. In fact our children are our legacy. The tireless and unselfish work parents do to teach children essential lessons will ultimately make them strong, independent people of great character. And your children will teach their children in a similar manner, and so on, for generations.
So just like Ken Hollingsworth, your daily efforts to impact your children, colleagues, friends, and even strangers, will be your legacy and will truly be immortal.
Monday Morning Motivator - Do It Right
Last October, my son, my father, and I took a ride to Concord, MA so my son could see the home and farm where his grandfather grew up. We drove past my dad’s old elementary school and then down the street where he lived, Harrison Ave. The house in which he lived is gone, but some remnants of his family’s chicken coop were still there. Most noticeably, their garage was still standing after 75 years, probably because it was built of cinder blocks. I asked more about it and my dad told us that he and his brothers built that garage! I asked, “You stacked and cemented all those cinder blocks?” and he said, “We built the cinder blocks.” He then told us how they made the forms, mixed the concrete, poured it, and stacked and cemented each block when it cured. I asked how long that took and he said, “All summer.”
That is just one example of my dad’s countless building projects that illustrates his motto: “Do It Right”. He always preached (and modeled) to do the job correctly, no matter how big or how small. Commit fully to the work, never take the easy way of cutting corners, and do the job with maximum effort and pride.
So this is a great lesson for when we do a project or job at home, at work, at school, even at play. Put your heart and soul into the task, take pride in your effort, and enjoy the process. When you Do It Right, you will get an end product that not just stands up for 75 years, but also stands for something much greater.
Last October, my son, my father, and I took a ride to Concord, MA so my son could see the home and farm where his grandfather grew up. We drove past my dad’s old elementary school and then down the street where he lived, Harrison Ave. The house in which he lived is gone, but some remnants of his family’s chicken coop were still there. Most noticeably, their garage was still standing after 75 years, probably because it was built of cinder blocks. I asked more about it and my dad told us that he and his brothers built that garage! I asked, “You stacked and cemented all those cinder blocks?” and he said, “We built the cinder blocks.” He then told us how they made the forms, mixed the concrete, poured it, and stacked and cemented each block when it cured. I asked how long that took and he said, “All summer.”
That is just one example of my dad’s countless building projects that illustrates his motto: “Do It Right”. He always preached (and modeled) to do the job correctly, no matter how big or how small. Commit fully to the work, never take the easy way of cutting corners, and do the job with maximum effort and pride.
So this is a great lesson for when we do a project or job at home, at work, at school, even at play. Put your heart and soul into the task, take pride in your effort, and enjoy the process. When you Do It Right, you will get an end product that not just stands up for 75 years, but also stands for something much greater.
Monday Morning Motivator -- Present Moment
In a recent MMM we talked about being in the Present Moment (Peaceful Warrior videos- Take Out the Trash). Here is a video from the World Figure Skating Championships about 40 years ago. Pair skaters Irina Rodnina and Aleksandr Zaitsev demonstrate how to actually perform in the present moment.
Watch the video first, then read comments below! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpR1hm_ktK8&feature=youtu.be
One would think that the music is so integral to the skaters’ program that they would not be able to continue without it. In fact, rules allow a re-skate when the music fails. But Rodnina and Zaitsev continued to skate, without missing a beat. How did they do it?
Well, two reasons: 1) they were able to stay in the moment - they were Right Here, Right Now. They were so focused on this move, this stroke, that the music became almost irrelevant. 2) they had practiced hundreds and hundreds of times so that every move was ingrained in their minds and muscle memory. So all they had to do was trust their training, and let their performance flow.
So if Rodnina and Zaitsev could stay in the present moment on the world’s biggest stage under extreme pressure,then so can we in our daily tasks at work, at school, at home, and at play. Throw out the trash that keeps us from the only thing that matters - this moment and tell yourself to be Right Here, Right Now. Practice and visualize your task and then trust yourself and your training. And then even when "the music goes out" you will stay in the present moment and be amazed at how well you perform.
In a recent MMM we talked about being in the Present Moment (Peaceful Warrior videos- Take Out the Trash). Here is a video from the World Figure Skating Championships about 40 years ago. Pair skaters Irina Rodnina and Aleksandr Zaitsev demonstrate how to actually perform in the present moment.
Watch the video first, then read comments below! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpR1hm_ktK8&feature=youtu.be
One would think that the music is so integral to the skaters’ program that they would not be able to continue without it. In fact, rules allow a re-skate when the music fails. But Rodnina and Zaitsev continued to skate, without missing a beat. How did they do it?
Well, two reasons: 1) they were able to stay in the moment - they were Right Here, Right Now. They were so focused on this move, this stroke, that the music became almost irrelevant. 2) they had practiced hundreds and hundreds of times so that every move was ingrained in their minds and muscle memory. So all they had to do was trust their training, and let their performance flow.
So if Rodnina and Zaitsev could stay in the present moment on the world’s biggest stage under extreme pressure,then so can we in our daily tasks at work, at school, at home, and at play. Throw out the trash that keeps us from the only thing that matters - this moment and tell yourself to be Right Here, Right Now. Practice and visualize your task and then trust yourself and your training. And then even when "the music goes out" you will stay in the present moment and be amazed at how well you perform.
Monday Morning Motivator -- Take Out the Trash
In the movie, Peaceful Warrior, Nick Nolte plays a mentor to Dan, a young man who aspires to be an Olympic gymnast, but has suffered a terrible injury in a car crash. As Dan rehabs physically, Nick Nolte works with him mentally. Watch the clip then read below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXAxBnQuHwI
In the video clip, Nolte tells Dan to “take out the trash”. He tells Dan that thoughts about the past or the future are the “trash” that keeps Dan from focusing on the present moment and performing his best. Nolte says, “The trash is anything that is keeping your from the only thing that is matters – this moment, here and now.”
So we need to think about what is our “trash” that prevents us from being in the “here and now”. Maybe it is the bad feeling about the disagreement we had with our child before school or maybe our worry about a missed sales opportunity in a phone call ten minutes ago. Future trash might be anxiety about a meeting with a client tomorrow or a big math test later today. All these issues deserve our attention, but in their own time and place. So we need a way to release those negative feelings; put them aside for now. Release those feelings by telling yourself that you are now throwing out the trash (or even better, have a physical action, such as actually throwing a piece of paper in the trash barrel). Then take a deep breath, regroup, and refocus on W.I.N. (What’s Important Now).
When we learn to take out the trash, we will understand Nolte when he says, “When you are truly in the here and now, you will be amazed at what you can do and how well you can do it.”
In the movie, Peaceful Warrior, Nick Nolte plays a mentor to Dan, a young man who aspires to be an Olympic gymnast, but has suffered a terrible injury in a car crash. As Dan rehabs physically, Nick Nolte works with him mentally. Watch the clip then read below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXAxBnQuHwI
In the video clip, Nolte tells Dan to “take out the trash”. He tells Dan that thoughts about the past or the future are the “trash” that keeps Dan from focusing on the present moment and performing his best. Nolte says, “The trash is anything that is keeping your from the only thing that is matters – this moment, here and now.”
So we need to think about what is our “trash” that prevents us from being in the “here and now”. Maybe it is the bad feeling about the disagreement we had with our child before school or maybe our worry about a missed sales opportunity in a phone call ten minutes ago. Future trash might be anxiety about a meeting with a client tomorrow or a big math test later today. All these issues deserve our attention, but in their own time and place. So we need a way to release those negative feelings; put them aside for now. Release those feelings by telling yourself that you are now throwing out the trash (or even better, have a physical action, such as actually throwing a piece of paper in the trash barrel). Then take a deep breath, regroup, and refocus on W.I.N. (What’s Important Now).
When we learn to take out the trash, we will understand Nolte when he says, “When you are truly in the here and now, you will be amazed at what you can do and how well you can do it.”
Monday Morning Motivator -- Picking Up Butch
Hall of Fame baseball player, Roberto Clemente, said, ''Any time you have an opportunity to make a difference in this world and you don't, then you are wasting your time on Earth.'" Clemente died on New Year's Eve in 1972 when his plane crashed on the way to Nicaragua, where Clemente was to help victims of an earthquake. Here is a beautiful example of young people helping someone and making great use of their time on Earth.
I know we are all busy, but I promise this 9-minute video will be time well spent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8c2y00e7_s
Hall of Fame baseball player, Roberto Clemente, said, ''Any time you have an opportunity to make a difference in this world and you don't, then you are wasting your time on Earth.'" Clemente died on New Year's Eve in 1972 when his plane crashed on the way to Nicaragua, where Clemente was to help victims of an earthquake. Here is a beautiful example of young people helping someone and making great use of their time on Earth.
I know we are all busy, but I promise this 9-minute video will be time well spent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8c2y00e7_s
Monday Morning Motivator - Pre-Performance Self-Talk
When I was Math Department Head at Reading Memorial High School, I was in charge of making the teaching schedule for the department. That means that I would decide which teacher would teach which course. I typically chose to give myself classes of students for whom math was not their strong suit. Why did I do that when I could have assigned myself the most talented students in the AP and Honors courses? Because I enjoyed watching my “average” students, throughout the year, grow in skill and confidence and often put together their best math performances of their school lives. We did it with hard work and demanding expectations, but also with a lot of encouragement and positivity. One positive exercise is this - every time my students were to take a test, I put the following on the board:
I am prepared
I am confident
I am focused
I am relaxed
I know this stuff
I will do great!
Students would read this Positive Self-Talk aloud, take a deep breath, and put themselves in the present moment. Students told me that this really helped their performance. In fact, one time I forgot to post the self-talk and students said, “Mr. Mosc, put up the self-talk, we need it!”
So rather than take a test with negative feelings of “I hope the test is not hard” or “I hope I don’t fail”, students learned to take on a positive attitude with confident body language and demeanor. They released any negative feelings from a previous class or worries about a future event, thus freeing themselves to perform at their best. Then they took the test with a present moment focus - one question at a time.
Of course, students can only feel confident and do their best work if they study and prepare for the test (Preparation Dictates Expectation).
Write this down for your kids and ask them to try it. Then try it yourself (revise the words to fit your task) before an important sales call, meeting, or presentation. Let us know how it works out.
When I was Math Department Head at Reading Memorial High School, I was in charge of making the teaching schedule for the department. That means that I would decide which teacher would teach which course. I typically chose to give myself classes of students for whom math was not their strong suit. Why did I do that when I could have assigned myself the most talented students in the AP and Honors courses? Because I enjoyed watching my “average” students, throughout the year, grow in skill and confidence and often put together their best math performances of their school lives. We did it with hard work and demanding expectations, but also with a lot of encouragement and positivity. One positive exercise is this - every time my students were to take a test, I put the following on the board:
I am prepared
I am confident
I am focused
I am relaxed
I know this stuff
I will do great!
Students would read this Positive Self-Talk aloud, take a deep breath, and put themselves in the present moment. Students told me that this really helped their performance. In fact, one time I forgot to post the self-talk and students said, “Mr. Mosc, put up the self-talk, we need it!”
So rather than take a test with negative feelings of “I hope the test is not hard” or “I hope I don’t fail”, students learned to take on a positive attitude with confident body language and demeanor. They released any negative feelings from a previous class or worries about a future event, thus freeing themselves to perform at their best. Then they took the test with a present moment focus - one question at a time.
Of course, students can only feel confident and do their best work if they study and prepare for the test (Preparation Dictates Expectation).
Write this down for your kids and ask them to try it. Then try it yourself (revise the words to fit your task) before an important sales call, meeting, or presentation. Let us know how it works out.
Monday Morning Motivator -- Blue Angels
My son is an aviation enthusiast, so we have been to many, many air shows from Rhode Island to Wisconsin. Among the show highlights are watching the USAF Thunderbirds and the US Navy Blue Angels perform. Their shows involve precision maneuvers by highly skilled pilots who fly their jets at 650 mph, sometimes with wing tips 18 inches from the adjacent jet! Imagine the training, the confidence, the trust, the precision, the calmness, the present moment focus that each pilot must demonstrate every time he performs.
As you will see in the video (link below), before each performance, the Blue Angels gather in a room and discuss what they must do to provide a safe, efficient, and entertaining show. This includes intense visualization, where the “boss” talks through the actual commands he will say in the air, while the rest of the team closes their eyes and vividly imagines the maneuver that corresponds to each command.
After the show, the Blue Angels get together to debrief; this session lasts longer than the actual performance. During the debriefing, each pilot will talk openly about any mistakes he made (mistakes that we certainly would not notice, but these experts would). Each pilot speaks up and takes full responsibility for his mistake, never casting blame to other pilots or to flying conditions. Instead he explains his error and says, “I can fix it”.
The other statement expressed by each pilot is “Glad to be here” – a specific recognition of the privilege and opportunity to be on the elite team.
The lesson here is pretty clear: when we make a mistake (and we all do – a lot!), rather than point a finger and blame someone or something else, take responsibility for the mistake and promise to fix it. Then, do it; fix it! And remember to be “glad to be here” – as difficult as our own circumstances may sometimes be, we are fortunate to be “here” – in this job, this classroom, this team, this family, this country.
http://youtu.be/L51wzOF9KT0
My son is an aviation enthusiast, so we have been to many, many air shows from Rhode Island to Wisconsin. Among the show highlights are watching the USAF Thunderbirds and the US Navy Blue Angels perform. Their shows involve precision maneuvers by highly skilled pilots who fly their jets at 650 mph, sometimes with wing tips 18 inches from the adjacent jet! Imagine the training, the confidence, the trust, the precision, the calmness, the present moment focus that each pilot must demonstrate every time he performs.
As you will see in the video (link below), before each performance, the Blue Angels gather in a room and discuss what they must do to provide a safe, efficient, and entertaining show. This includes intense visualization, where the “boss” talks through the actual commands he will say in the air, while the rest of the team closes their eyes and vividly imagines the maneuver that corresponds to each command.
After the show, the Blue Angels get together to debrief; this session lasts longer than the actual performance. During the debriefing, each pilot will talk openly about any mistakes he made (mistakes that we certainly would not notice, but these experts would). Each pilot speaks up and takes full responsibility for his mistake, never casting blame to other pilots or to flying conditions. Instead he explains his error and says, “I can fix it”.
The other statement expressed by each pilot is “Glad to be here” – a specific recognition of the privilege and opportunity to be on the elite team.
The lesson here is pretty clear: when we make a mistake (and we all do – a lot!), rather than point a finger and blame someone or something else, take responsibility for the mistake and promise to fix it. Then, do it; fix it! And remember to be “glad to be here” – as difficult as our own circumstances may sometimes be, we are fortunate to be “here” – in this job, this classroom, this team, this family, this country.
http://youtu.be/L51wzOF9KT0
Monday Morning Motivator - The Process of Playing
I like watching the Little League World Series each August. I believe it must be an awesome experience for the young players, coaches, and families. And I think competition is not just a good thing, but absolutely necessary for growth and learning. But I don't enjoy watching kids crying because they strike out or give up a bases-loaded double. I know they are young and bound to be emotional, yet I wonder if those kids are enjoying the on-field experience or if their "fun" is determined by Win or Lose.
Here is another perspective. I was at the beach recently and watched two dogs playing ball. Over and over again, their owner would throw a tennis ball along the beach and the two dogs would chase after it. As you can see from the photo, one dog was lean and lithe, built for effortless speed. The smaller dog moved his little legs rapidly, but could not keep up with the other dog. So every single time, the faster dog got to the ball first (the smaller dog was still far behind), picked it up, reversed direction, and brought it back the owner. The little dog would arrive several seconds later and the owner would throw the ball again, with the same two-dog outcome.
The little dog knew he was never going to get the ball, but he did not seem to mind (he didn't throw his batting helmet or anything like that!) He just kept trying and running; why? Well, I think it is because he was just enjoying the Process of Playing. He did not care about the result, the scoreboard, his statistics (0 for 20), what anyone else thought, etc. He just loved the joy of participating.
Do the Little Leaguers have the same love of the Process of Playing in their World Series? Maybe they do; I hope so. How about us - when we play a round of golf, set of tennis, a softball game, etc? Again, I love competition and want to win every time I play, but if we care only about the outcome, then we lose sight of the process and the real reason why we play in the first place - for fun.
And here's the thing - when we focus on the Process, we play fearless and free; loose and relaxed - and we are much more likely to get the outcomes we desire!
If you want to learn more about how to Focus on the Process in order to get the Outcomes you desire, contact us at Personal Best.
I like watching the Little League World Series each August. I believe it must be an awesome experience for the young players, coaches, and families. And I think competition is not just a good thing, but absolutely necessary for growth and learning. But I don't enjoy watching kids crying because they strike out or give up a bases-loaded double. I know they are young and bound to be emotional, yet I wonder if those kids are enjoying the on-field experience or if their "fun" is determined by Win or Lose.
Here is another perspective. I was at the beach recently and watched two dogs playing ball. Over and over again, their owner would throw a tennis ball along the beach and the two dogs would chase after it. As you can see from the photo, one dog was lean and lithe, built for effortless speed. The smaller dog moved his little legs rapidly, but could not keep up with the other dog. So every single time, the faster dog got to the ball first (the smaller dog was still far behind), picked it up, reversed direction, and brought it back the owner. The little dog would arrive several seconds later and the owner would throw the ball again, with the same two-dog outcome.
The little dog knew he was never going to get the ball, but he did not seem to mind (he didn't throw his batting helmet or anything like that!) He just kept trying and running; why? Well, I think it is because he was just enjoying the Process of Playing. He did not care about the result, the scoreboard, his statistics (0 for 20), what anyone else thought, etc. He just loved the joy of participating.
Do the Little Leaguers have the same love of the Process of Playing in their World Series? Maybe they do; I hope so. How about us - when we play a round of golf, set of tennis, a softball game, etc? Again, I love competition and want to win every time I play, but if we care only about the outcome, then we lose sight of the process and the real reason why we play in the first place - for fun.
And here's the thing - when we focus on the Process, we play fearless and free; loose and relaxed - and we are much more likely to get the outcomes we desire!
If you want to learn more about how to Focus on the Process in order to get the Outcomes you desire, contact us at Personal Best.
Monday Morning Motivator -- Three Things I Learned Today
I was recently in Baltimore with my sons as I write this, as they are attending Otakon, a huge annual Anime Convention. Both of my sons are on the Autism spectrum and this event is their favorite weekend of every year.
While my older son takes advantage of everything the con has to offer (he even created and presented a panel on "Asperger's and Fandom" to convey how he has used the genre to better his social skills. But my younger son generally sticks with just walking around and seeing all the amazing costumes. Despite my urging to have him try something new, he (like most of us) wants to stay with what is comfortable and familiar. Well, despite some anxiety, last night he decided to attend a "Rave", a dance with loud music and hundreds of loud people ("loud" is something he does not like). Yet he did it and had a great time, dancing and enjoying a sense of belonging. Obviously I was very pleased for him and asked him "what did you learn?" He said he learned that he could handle the noise, after all (he said it was no worse than sounds of jet engines when we fly). Hopefully, this will lead him to stretch his comfort zone more in the future.
Anyway, my point is as parents, teachers, and coaches, we constantly ask our children, students, and players "what did you learn?" Well, how about us adults? We certainly are never to old to learn; in fact in today's world, we need to keep constantly learning in order to succeed at work and at home.
Maybe today you learned that taking a good, deep breathe before making an important sales call helps you stay calm and focused. Or maybe you learned that keeping your head still improved your putting. I learned that I need to push my son a little more than usual - something that is often outside my comfort zone.
So here is a 7/3 Challenge: for the next 7 days, write down 3 things you learned each day. Write in a journal, iPad, smartphone ,etc. At the end of the week you will be amazed and proud of how much you have learned! And when you learn - you not only gain new skills and strategies, but also grow personally and find ways to apply what you learned to a variety of areas. And, as a result, you will find that you perform more confidently and happily at work, at school, and at home.
Contact Personal Best - we can help you keep Learning and Growing!
I was recently in Baltimore with my sons as I write this, as they are attending Otakon, a huge annual Anime Convention. Both of my sons are on the Autism spectrum and this event is their favorite weekend of every year.
While my older son takes advantage of everything the con has to offer (he even created and presented a panel on "Asperger's and Fandom" to convey how he has used the genre to better his social skills. But my younger son generally sticks with just walking around and seeing all the amazing costumes. Despite my urging to have him try something new, he (like most of us) wants to stay with what is comfortable and familiar. Well, despite some anxiety, last night he decided to attend a "Rave", a dance with loud music and hundreds of loud people ("loud" is something he does not like). Yet he did it and had a great time, dancing and enjoying a sense of belonging. Obviously I was very pleased for him and asked him "what did you learn?" He said he learned that he could handle the noise, after all (he said it was no worse than sounds of jet engines when we fly). Hopefully, this will lead him to stretch his comfort zone more in the future.
Anyway, my point is as parents, teachers, and coaches, we constantly ask our children, students, and players "what did you learn?" Well, how about us adults? We certainly are never to old to learn; in fact in today's world, we need to keep constantly learning in order to succeed at work and at home.
Maybe today you learned that taking a good, deep breathe before making an important sales call helps you stay calm and focused. Or maybe you learned that keeping your head still improved your putting. I learned that I need to push my son a little more than usual - something that is often outside my comfort zone.
So here is a 7/3 Challenge: for the next 7 days, write down 3 things you learned each day. Write in a journal, iPad, smartphone ,etc. At the end of the week you will be amazed and proud of how much you have learned! And when you learn - you not only gain new skills and strategies, but also grow personally and find ways to apply what you learned to a variety of areas. And, as a result, you will find that you perform more confidently and happily at work, at school, and at home.
Contact Personal Best - we can help you keep Learning and Growing!
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best --- “It’s supposed to be hard.”
One of my favorite movies is A League of Their Own; a story about the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League in the 1940’s. In the movie, the Rockford Peaches’ star player, Dottie Hinson, portrayed by Geena Davis, is about to quit the team just as the players are boarding the bus to play in the World Series. Her husband is home from the war and she has decided she no longer needs baseball. She tells her manager, Jimmy Dugan, played by Tom Hanks, that she is quitting and Dugan tries to talk her into staying with the team. Dottie says, “It just got too hard,” to which Dugan replies, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard it what makes it great.”
Well, Dugan was talking about baseball, but he could just as well have been talking about soccer, figure skating, algebra, working for a living, parenting, etc. The point is, what you do every day is hard and not everyone could do what you do! Maybe you get up early every day, shower, get dressed, make breakfast for your kids, go through the ordeal of getting them ready for school, drive them to school, go to work at office or home, work 8 hours, come home and take care of the house and yard, pick up the kids at soccer-piano-hockey, prepare dinner, clean up after dinner, help kids with homework, finally sit down and have 30 minutes to yourself before bed, go to bed, sleep, and get up tomorrow and do it all again.
What you do is HARD, IS IMPORTANT, AND NOT EVERYONE CAN DO IT! But it’s supposed to be hard. Anything worthwhile in life is hard and takes effort, time, and commitment.
So many people these days run away from the hard; they want the easy. But there is no satisfaction or sense of accomplishment in doing the easy, so we say RUN TOWARD THE HARD! It is going to be there anyway, so we might as well embrace the hard and go after it with enthusiasm and confidence. For only when we do the hard do we fall down, get up, brush ourselves off, learn and grow, fall down, get up, brush ourselves off, learn and grow ..… until we earn the satisfaction of knowing we have embraced the “hard” in life, have done our best, and have achieved our goals.
Personal Best can show you how to embrace the “hard” in life and respond effectively to adversity. So contact us to work with your business, family, team, school, or organization.
One of my favorite movies is A League of Their Own; a story about the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League in the 1940’s. In the movie, the Rockford Peaches’ star player, Dottie Hinson, portrayed by Geena Davis, is about to quit the team just as the players are boarding the bus to play in the World Series. Her husband is home from the war and she has decided she no longer needs baseball. She tells her manager, Jimmy Dugan, played by Tom Hanks, that she is quitting and Dugan tries to talk her into staying with the team. Dottie says, “It just got too hard,” to which Dugan replies, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard it what makes it great.”
Well, Dugan was talking about baseball, but he could just as well have been talking about soccer, figure skating, algebra, working for a living, parenting, etc. The point is, what you do every day is hard and not everyone could do what you do! Maybe you get up early every day, shower, get dressed, make breakfast for your kids, go through the ordeal of getting them ready for school, drive them to school, go to work at office or home, work 8 hours, come home and take care of the house and yard, pick up the kids at soccer-piano-hockey, prepare dinner, clean up after dinner, help kids with homework, finally sit down and have 30 minutes to yourself before bed, go to bed, sleep, and get up tomorrow and do it all again.
What you do is HARD, IS IMPORTANT, AND NOT EVERYONE CAN DO IT! But it’s supposed to be hard. Anything worthwhile in life is hard and takes effort, time, and commitment.
So many people these days run away from the hard; they want the easy. But there is no satisfaction or sense of accomplishment in doing the easy, so we say RUN TOWARD THE HARD! It is going to be there anyway, so we might as well embrace the hard and go after it with enthusiasm and confidence. For only when we do the hard do we fall down, get up, brush ourselves off, learn and grow, fall down, get up, brush ourselves off, learn and grow ..… until we earn the satisfaction of knowing we have embraced the “hard” in life, have done our best, and have achieved our goals.
Personal Best can show you how to embrace the “hard” in life and respond effectively to adversity. So contact us to work with your business, family, team, school, or organization.
Apollo 13: FRUSTRATED OR FASCINATED? PROBLEM OR OPPORTUNITY?
One of the great American stories is that of Apollo 13, a 1970 NASA mission to the moon. But two days after launch, the lunar landing was aborted after an oxygen tank exploded, crippling the Service Module upon which the Command Module depended. Flight Director, Gene Kranz, and his team were faced with a problem that NASA had never encountered before - how to get the astronauts safely back to earth, despite limited power, loss of cabin heat, shortage of potable water, and the critical need to jury-rig the carbon dioxide removal system.
In the video clip, we see two of NASA’s higher-ranking officers talking about the situation. Clearly, they have chosen to be FRUSTRATED and are viewing the situation as an insurmountable PROBLEM with no solution. Then we hear Gene Kranz give his opinion. Kranz chose to be FASCINATED about this OPPORTUNITY to use every single person on the team, every possible resource, and every bit of ingenuity to bring the astronauts back home. We all know the end result and how Kranz and the men and women at Mission Control worked together to solve problem after problem to bring the astronauts safely to earth.
copy and past link below to see video
https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIPbOtVTPkgALK37w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTB2NzRpbjYzBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDVjE3MQRncG9zAzE-?p=APOLLO+13+FINEST+HOUR&vid=46bef85fa5208172dd669bab06f6d2c3&l=00%3A35&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DVN.608054978639759589%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DeOkAyUmyQko&tit=%3Cb%3EApollo+13+%3C%2Fb%3E%2F+Leadership%2C+Conviction&c=0&sigr=11a5t5tq2&sigt=1192bsabm&age=0&fr=yhs-w3i-syctransfer&tt=b
Well, we face these challenges all the time (maybe not on the scale of Apollo 13, but our problems are serious and important to us, nevertheless). Do we choose to be Frustrated or Fascinated? Do we dwell on the difficulty of the problem, the hopelessness of the situation, and who is to blame or do we see a challenge and opportunity to put our minds and energy into finding a solution?
I think that when we stay positive and calm, use all available help, and trust our training, we, too, can turn our challenges into OUR FINEST HOUR!
At Personal Best, we can teach you how to be Fascinated and address Adversity with positivity and confidence.
Contact us to have Personal Best work with you.
Monday Morning Motivator by Personal Best -- Fountains and Drains
When I think of a Fountain, I think of water shooting upward, a happy place like a park or playground or Disney World, maybe even children laughing and playing in the water – a very positive image. On the other hand, when I think of a Drain, I know it can only do one thing, suck water into the pipes below – a negative image. Well, people tend to fall into the Fountain or Drain categories. Consider this:
The Drain is always part of the problem.
The Fountain is always part of the answer.
The Drain always has an excuse.
The Fountain always has a plan.
The Drain says “That’s not my job.”
The Fountain says “Let me do it for you.”
The Drain only sees a problem.
The Fountain only sees an opportunity.
The Fountain chooses to Be Bitter.
The Fountain chooses to Get Better.
The Drain sees sand traps near every green.
The Fountain sees a green near every sand trap.
The Drain said, “It may be possible, but it’s too difficult.”
The Fountain says “It may be difficult, but it’s possible.”
So, every day, choose to be a Fountain. Now you might say that there are Drains in your life – at school, at work, even in your family. Well, all you can do is be positive and Fountain-like and maybe they will follow your example. But, more importantly, when you have the opportunity to choose the people with whom you want to associate, choose Fountains who share your values and vision. This is important because we become the average of the five people we hang out with most.
As always, your comments are welcome and please share this message. Then, spread the word about Personal Best – we teach people how to be Fountains even in the midst of adversity.
When I think of a Fountain, I think of water shooting upward, a happy place like a park or playground or Disney World, maybe even children laughing and playing in the water – a very positive image. On the other hand, when I think of a Drain, I know it can only do one thing, suck water into the pipes below – a negative image. Well, people tend to fall into the Fountain or Drain categories. Consider this:
The Drain is always part of the problem.
The Fountain is always part of the answer.
The Drain always has an excuse.
The Fountain always has a plan.
The Drain says “That’s not my job.”
The Fountain says “Let me do it for you.”
The Drain only sees a problem.
The Fountain only sees an opportunity.
The Fountain chooses to Be Bitter.
The Fountain chooses to Get Better.
The Drain sees sand traps near every green.
The Fountain sees a green near every sand trap.
The Drain said, “It may be possible, but it’s too difficult.”
The Fountain says “It may be difficult, but it’s possible.”
So, every day, choose to be a Fountain. Now you might say that there are Drains in your life – at school, at work, even in your family. Well, all you can do is be positive and Fountain-like and maybe they will follow your example. But, more importantly, when you have the opportunity to choose the people with whom you want to associate, choose Fountains who share your values and vision. This is important because we become the average of the five people we hang out with most.
As always, your comments are welcome and please share this message. Then, spread the word about Personal Best – we teach people how to be Fountains even in the midst of adversity.
Segment Your Day
This is a long one, but I guarantee it is a message that you will really like and one that you really need!
We are all very busy and we all wear “many hats” in that we perform many different tasks while taking on several different roles each day. We are professionals at work, moms, dads, daughters, sons, students, athletes, musicians, Sunday School teachers, Little League coaches, and the list goes on. How can we possibly do our personal best in each and every one of those roles? The key is SEGMENTING YOUR DAY, explained below.
Science shows that our brain can only focus on ONE THING AT A TIME. Multi-tasking, which we think we are doing effectively because our brain works so quickly, really does not work. When we try to do more than one thing simultaneously, we are merely dividing our focus and energy in multiple directions, leading to less-than-optimum attention, quality, and results.
This is why you must SEGMENT YOUR DAY. When you are at work, be at work. While you are at work, you can’t do anything about issues you have with home, family, or recreation, so let them go for now. You can give those items full attention when the time is right. Also, when you are in a meeting, give your total focus to that meeting. When you are helping your daughter with homework, give her 100% of your attention. There is a time and a place for everything, just give that item your time when you are in its place!
T o segment effectively, you must have a definite, intentional transition from one activity to another. For example, when you arrive home after a day at work and you are ready to become a dad/mom/son/daughter, etc., then an action such as closing the car door is the way you say, “work day is over, now I am a dad.” We always told our baseball players to segment from being a student to a ballplayer – as you take off your school clothes, tell yourself that the school day is over, and as you put on your baseball gear, you become the ultimate baseball player.
Segmenting your day will allow you to BE WHERE YOU NEED TO BE (MENTALLY) WHEN YOU NEED TO BE THERE. You will find that reduces stress, increases focus, and leads to better results.
Check out this video from the movie, Peaceful Warrior where Nick Nolte teaches an aspiring Olympic gymnast about performing in the PRESENT MOMENT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXAxBnQuHwI
“WHEN YOU ARE TRULY IN THE HERE AND NOW, YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT WHAT YOU CAN DO AND HOW WELL YOU CAN DO IT.”
These MMMs are just the tip of the Mental Toughness iceberg that we would like to teach you. Tell your co-workers, friends, families, teammates, etc. about Personal Best and contact us to work with your group.
This is a long one, but I guarantee it is a message that you will really like and one that you really need!
We are all very busy and we all wear “many hats” in that we perform many different tasks while taking on several different roles each day. We are professionals at work, moms, dads, daughters, sons, students, athletes, musicians, Sunday School teachers, Little League coaches, and the list goes on. How can we possibly do our personal best in each and every one of those roles? The key is SEGMENTING YOUR DAY, explained below.
Science shows that our brain can only focus on ONE THING AT A TIME. Multi-tasking, which we think we are doing effectively because our brain works so quickly, really does not work. When we try to do more than one thing simultaneously, we are merely dividing our focus and energy in multiple directions, leading to less-than-optimum attention, quality, and results.
This is why you must SEGMENT YOUR DAY. When you are at work, be at work. While you are at work, you can’t do anything about issues you have with home, family, or recreation, so let them go for now. You can give those items full attention when the time is right. Also, when you are in a meeting, give your total focus to that meeting. When you are helping your daughter with homework, give her 100% of your attention. There is a time and a place for everything, just give that item your time when you are in its place!
T o segment effectively, you must have a definite, intentional transition from one activity to another. For example, when you arrive home after a day at work and you are ready to become a dad/mom/son/daughter, etc., then an action such as closing the car door is the way you say, “work day is over, now I am a dad.” We always told our baseball players to segment from being a student to a ballplayer – as you take off your school clothes, tell yourself that the school day is over, and as you put on your baseball gear, you become the ultimate baseball player.
Segmenting your day will allow you to BE WHERE YOU NEED TO BE (MENTALLY) WHEN YOU NEED TO BE THERE. You will find that reduces stress, increases focus, and leads to better results.
Check out this video from the movie, Peaceful Warrior where Nick Nolte teaches an aspiring Olympic gymnast about performing in the PRESENT MOMENT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXAxBnQuHwI
“WHEN YOU ARE TRULY IN THE HERE AND NOW, YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT WHAT YOU CAN DO AND HOW WELL YOU CAN DO IT.”
These MMMs are just the tip of the Mental Toughness iceberg that we would like to teach you. Tell your co-workers, friends, families, teammates, etc. about Personal Best and contact us to work with your group.
Pillow Test
I used to wonder why, despite getting plenty of sleep, sometimes I would wake up feeling rested, positive, and feeling great but other times wake up feeling agitated, stressed, or tired.Then I read that the last few minutes of our waking hours are replayed subconsciously 15-17 times while we sleep!
So now I take the Pillow Test and you should, too. Don’t worry, it is an easy test and one for which you don’t even have to study! Every night when you go to bed, just prior to putting your head on the pillow, ask yourself, “Today, have I done everything I possibly could to be successful?” (remember, “successful” does not have to mean closing a sale or making a profit or winning a game, but could mean being successful in helping a friend in need or successful in showing love and support to your spouse). If the answer is “yes”, then take a moment to replay in your mind those things that you did well and moved you toward success. That will allow you to sleep well and wake up feeling positive and refreshed. But if the answer is “no”, then don’t beat yourself up but, instead, determine what you could have done better. Then make a specific plan for what you want to do tomorrow, visualize it, lock it in with positive thoughts, and have a good night’s sleep.
So take The Pillow Test each night and you will sleep well and wake up feeling great with a plan for a successful day!
I used to wonder why, despite getting plenty of sleep, sometimes I would wake up feeling rested, positive, and feeling great but other times wake up feeling agitated, stressed, or tired.Then I read that the last few minutes of our waking hours are replayed subconsciously 15-17 times while we sleep!
So now I take the Pillow Test and you should, too. Don’t worry, it is an easy test and one for which you don’t even have to study! Every night when you go to bed, just prior to putting your head on the pillow, ask yourself, “Today, have I done everything I possibly could to be successful?” (remember, “successful” does not have to mean closing a sale or making a profit or winning a game, but could mean being successful in helping a friend in need or successful in showing love and support to your spouse). If the answer is “yes”, then take a moment to replay in your mind those things that you did well and moved you toward success. That will allow you to sleep well and wake up feeling positive and refreshed. But if the answer is “no”, then don’t beat yourself up but, instead, determine what you could have done better. Then make a specific plan for what you want to do tomorrow, visualize it, lock it in with positive thoughts, and have a good night’s sleep.
So take The Pillow Test each night and you will sleep well and wake up feeling great with a plan for a successful day!
Control Your APE
In Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Playoff series between Boston and Montreal, the Bruins were down 3-1 when Bruins coach Claude Julien told his team to “control what we can control.” The Bruins went on to score 4 consecutive goals in the 3rd period to win 5-3.
Controlling the Control-ables means to let go of what we cannot control – weather, traffic, our boss, our colleagues, our clients, the economy, etc. and focus our energy on what we can control – our Attitude, Appearance, Positivity, Perspective, Process, Preparation, Energy, Enthusiasm, Emotions. In other words, control your APE and you will be less stressed, more energized, more confident, and more productive.
In Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Playoff series between Boston and Montreal, the Bruins were down 3-1 when Bruins coach Claude Julien told his team to “control what we can control.” The Bruins went on to score 4 consecutive goals in the 3rd period to win 5-3.
Controlling the Control-ables means to let go of what we cannot control – weather, traffic, our boss, our colleagues, our clients, the economy, etc. and focus our energy on what we can control – our Attitude, Appearance, Positivity, Perspective, Process, Preparation, Energy, Enthusiasm, Emotions. In other words, control your APE and you will be less stressed, more energized, more confident, and more productive.
Compensate and Adjust
Recently I did some traveling – the plan was to fly from Boston to Philadelphia with my son on a Friday afternoon, fly home Sunday evening, and then right back on a plane (just me) from Boston to Chicago to Omaha for the College World Series. Well, things don’t always work out the way we plan. Our Friday flight to Philly was canceled, with no feasible other flights, so we drove (7.5 hours) to Philly. On Sunday evening, I flew Boston to Chicago okay, but flight from Chicago to Omaha was canceled, causing me to stay overnight in Chicago, then flying the next morning to Dallas and then to Omaha. So I missed one CWS game with my buddies who were already there (tickets were front row behind first base dugout and one of my former players was the first base coach for one of the teams in that game).
So throughout this ordeal, I had the choice to be frustrated and angry because of inconvenience, additional costs, and missed time with friends, or to COMPENSATE AND ADJUST and make the best of it. You know which choice I made. I utilized the long drive to Philly to talk and have some fun with my son that we would not have had on a short plane ride. Then, in Omaha, I decided to extend my trip by one day – that worked out great, because I got to spend the extra day with my former player whose team had the day off. We watched two ballgames from those front row seats and had a great day.
We always have the choice – to become frustrated or fascinated; to see a problem or see an opportunity. Our plans (in travel or in life) often don’t play out the way we wish, so Compensate and Adjust, which will lower stress, allow us to control the controllables, and enable us to see opportunities that otherwise might go unseen.
Recently I did some traveling – the plan was to fly from Boston to Philadelphia with my son on a Friday afternoon, fly home Sunday evening, and then right back on a plane (just me) from Boston to Chicago to Omaha for the College World Series. Well, things don’t always work out the way we plan. Our Friday flight to Philly was canceled, with no feasible other flights, so we drove (7.5 hours) to Philly. On Sunday evening, I flew Boston to Chicago okay, but flight from Chicago to Omaha was canceled, causing me to stay overnight in Chicago, then flying the next morning to Dallas and then to Omaha. So I missed one CWS game with my buddies who were already there (tickets were front row behind first base dugout and one of my former players was the first base coach for one of the teams in that game).
So throughout this ordeal, I had the choice to be frustrated and angry because of inconvenience, additional costs, and missed time with friends, or to COMPENSATE AND ADJUST and make the best of it. You know which choice I made. I utilized the long drive to Philly to talk and have some fun with my son that we would not have had on a short plane ride. Then, in Omaha, I decided to extend my trip by one day – that worked out great, because I got to spend the extra day with my former player whose team had the day off. We watched two ballgames from those front row seats and had a great day.
We always have the choice – to become frustrated or fascinated; to see a problem or see an opportunity. Our plans (in travel or in life) often don’t play out the way we wish, so Compensate and Adjust, which will lower stress, allow us to control the controllables, and enable us to see opportunities that otherwise might go unseen.
"I am not remotely interested in being just good."
When the legendary Vince Lombardi became Head Coach of the Green Bay Packers in 1959, he was taking over a struggling franchise that had won just one game the previous season. In his first meeting with his players and coaching staff he said, “I am not remotely interested in being just good.” And thus began an unparalleled legacy of excellence in Green Bay.
It is easy to settle for “just good”. After all, as Lombardi demonstrated, excellence takes effort, commitment, sacrifice. But just good is not good enough when, in our hearts, we know we can do better. Whether it be in our job, our relationships, our personal character – we all have the ability to be great. All we have to do is focus on the process of getting a little bit better each day. If we are willing to do that, our greatness is sure to emerge and we will find heightened success and fulfillment at work and at home.
When the legendary Vince Lombardi became Head Coach of the Green Bay Packers in 1959, he was taking over a struggling franchise that had won just one game the previous season. In his first meeting with his players and coaching staff he said, “I am not remotely interested in being just good.” And thus began an unparalleled legacy of excellence in Green Bay.
It is easy to settle for “just good”. After all, as Lombardi demonstrated, excellence takes effort, commitment, sacrifice. But just good is not good enough when, in our hearts, we know we can do better. Whether it be in our job, our relationships, our personal character – we all have the ability to be great. All we have to do is focus on the process of getting a little bit better each day. If we are willing to do that, our greatness is sure to emerge and we will find heightened success and fulfillment at work and at home.
Hold on to the Rope
“Hold on to the rope” is an expression that Reading High School Baseball players and coaches uttered countless times in the years when we were coaching the team. Here is what it means:
Imagine that you are hanging off the edge of a 100 foot cliff, holding on to the end of a rope. On the top of the cliff is another person, holding the other end of the rope, preventing you from making the 100-foot plunge. When Personal Best works with athletic teams, we ask players whom you would want holding the rope for you, knowing that s/he loves you and cares about you and the team so much that s/he would never let go. Players will invariably give the name of a team captain, a personal friend, or a physically strong player. That is all fine but, we have found that a team is not really a strong, unified team until each player is willing to say, “It does not matter who is holding the rope, as long as s/he is one of my teammates.”
Teams –families-businesses need to “hold on to the rope” for each other in times of adversity. In baseball, it might be when the opponent has the bases loaded and nobody out; in business it might be when the company has lost a key account or failed to make a major sale; and for a family it may be when one member is facing a significant illness.
It is during those times of strife that we need not to act individually, but to depend on, and trust, each other. When we hold the rope for each other, we build a team, a business, a family that is unbreakable and can make it through any adversity it may encounter.
“Hold on to the rope” is an expression that Reading High School Baseball players and coaches uttered countless times in the years when we were coaching the team. Here is what it means:
Imagine that you are hanging off the edge of a 100 foot cliff, holding on to the end of a rope. On the top of the cliff is another person, holding the other end of the rope, preventing you from making the 100-foot plunge. When Personal Best works with athletic teams, we ask players whom you would want holding the rope for you, knowing that s/he loves you and cares about you and the team so much that s/he would never let go. Players will invariably give the name of a team captain, a personal friend, or a physically strong player. That is all fine but, we have found that a team is not really a strong, unified team until each player is willing to say, “It does not matter who is holding the rope, as long as s/he is one of my teammates.”
Teams –families-businesses need to “hold on to the rope” for each other in times of adversity. In baseball, it might be when the opponent has the bases loaded and nobody out; in business it might be when the company has lost a key account or failed to make a major sale; and for a family it may be when one member is facing a significant illness.
It is during those times of strife that we need not to act individually, but to depend on, and trust, each other. When we hold the rope for each other, we build a team, a business, a family that is unbreakable and can make it through any adversity it may encounter.
3 to 1 Positivity Ratio
Human beings are wired to be negative (I have read that this goes back to our caveman/cavewoman days when we were not at the top of the food chain so we were always wary and anxious about being eaten). Even though that seems to be less of a concern today, we still have a tendency toward negativity and to give a single negative event more “weight” than an equally positive event. That is why we must consciously make 3 positive thoughts for every negative one. Research shows that happy, fulfilled, successful people maintain at least a 3:1 ratio (6:1 works even better). So here we go – when you spill a cup of coffee, are anxious about a sale, or are aggravated about traffic, bring up 3 quick positive thoughts to get back on track.
If you want to learn exactly how to find positives in the face of negativity, contact Personal Best – that’s what we do!
Human beings are wired to be negative (I have read that this goes back to our caveman/cavewoman days when we were not at the top of the food chain so we were always wary and anxious about being eaten). Even though that seems to be less of a concern today, we still have a tendency toward negativity and to give a single negative event more “weight” than an equally positive event. That is why we must consciously make 3 positive thoughts for every negative one. Research shows that happy, fulfilled, successful people maintain at least a 3:1 ratio (6:1 works even better). So here we go – when you spill a cup of coffee, are anxious about a sale, or are aggravated about traffic, bring up 3 quick positive thoughts to get back on track.
If you want to learn exactly how to find positives in the face of negativity, contact Personal Best – that’s what we do!
Three Degrees
Science shows that each of us impacts people within "three degrees" of us. That means when I demonstrate a positive attitude toward my wife, I am not only affecting her, but also my wife's best friend and my wife's best friend's daughter. Think of the ripple effect your positive attitude can have! Positive psychologist Shawn Achor estimates that each of us have 1000 people within three degrees of us. Wow. So start today demonstrating your positive attitude and enjoy knowing you are helping 1000 people!
Science shows that each of us impacts people within "three degrees" of us. That means when I demonstrate a positive attitude toward my wife, I am not only affecting her, but also my wife's best friend and my wife's best friend's daughter. Think of the ripple effect your positive attitude can have! Positive psychologist Shawn Achor estimates that each of us have 1000 people within three degrees of us. Wow. So start today demonstrating your positive attitude and enjoy knowing you are helping 1000 people!
86,400
86,400 is how many seconds we have in each day. We can spend it or we can invest it. There is a difference, just as it is different to spend money vs. invest money. We can choose to spend our time, but once it is spent, it is gone forever - we will never get it back. Or we can choose to invest our time – invest time in our families, our careers, our communities, our personal growth. Investing time in the present moment is the only way we will reap the rewards of our investment “time and time again”.
86,400 is how many seconds we have in each day. We can spend it or we can invest it. There is a difference, just as it is different to spend money vs. invest money. We can choose to spend our time, but once it is spent, it is gone forever - we will never get it back. Or we can choose to invest our time – invest time in our families, our careers, our communities, our personal growth. Investing time in the present moment is the only way we will reap the rewards of our investment “time and time again”.
Sequoias
The mighty sequoia trees are among the largest living things on our planet. A strange fact about them is that, unlike most trees, they have no tap root (a tap root grows vertically downward into the ground to help a tree maintain its stability). Instead, its roots are shallow and extend horizontally away from the trunk. So how does a tree that can be nearly 300 feet tall and weigh 2 million pounds keep its equilibrium? Well, each sequoia’s roots reach out and intertwine with a neighboring sequoia’s roots, as if to say, “As big and as strong as I may be, in order to stay upright, I need you and you need me.”
Tell this story to your co-workers, team, or family. When your group becomes like the sequoias, you will surely meet with success.
If you like this and want more – contact Personal Best. This is what we do!
The mighty sequoia trees are among the largest living things on our planet. A strange fact about them is that, unlike most trees, they have no tap root (a tap root grows vertically downward into the ground to help a tree maintain its stability). Instead, its roots are shallow and extend horizontally away from the trunk. So how does a tree that can be nearly 300 feet tall and weigh 2 million pounds keep its equilibrium? Well, each sequoia’s roots reach out and intertwine with a neighboring sequoia’s roots, as if to say, “As big and as strong as I may be, in order to stay upright, I need you and you need me.”
Tell this story to your co-workers, team, or family. When your group becomes like the sequoias, you will surely meet with success.
If you like this and want more – contact Personal Best. This is what we do!
Whenever Personal Best does a presentation, we put the FEDEX logo up on screen and ask people to comment about the logo. Someone will always point out the arrow between the E and X. Then we ask how many are seeing that for the first time and usually about ¼ of the people say that this is their first time.
Well, whether you are seeing that arrow for the first time today or whether you noticed it years ago, that arrow has always been there. Just like there is an arrow inside each of us; an arrow that represents our particular talent, character , …. greatness. Now it is our obligation to bring out that arrow and show the world our unique greatness and what we have to offer. It takes courage, but we can do it. Check out this video of a man who found the courage to show his “arrow” to the world.